WELCOME TO THE FREE BIRD PRESS!

We plan to interview movers and shakers of this thing of ours, and see what we can find out!  The Streets seem a little bit short of newspapers and interviews lately (though busy with other things), so this is in part an attempt to get things moving.

Our first interview is LongLeggedLarry.  Larry's father Transistor was killed in circumstances that are still looked at by those who enjoy sleuthing.  What happened?  Transistor was best known, arguably, for a beef involving a supposed $80m debt.  We discuss that, as well as what Larry has become best known for (shooting himself instead of an enemy).

I hope you enjoy this!  Please send money, information, intelligence, and suggestions for who to interview next!!!

RonnieVanZant:  Larry? You ready?

LongLeggedLarry:  Sure man.

 RonnieVanZant:  Great, OK, I don't hold back with my interviewees, that OK?

 LongLeggedLarry:  I wouldn't expect you to.

 RonnieVanZant:  Let's keep the pace going - a good back and forth. This is a conversation, and you will see the final cut before publishing

 RonnieVanZant:  First off, why did Transistor die?

 LongLeggedLarry:  Transistor was a space alien from mars. It was something my father was trying to keep under wraps but he had the intention of blowing up the entire universe in one fell swoop with what he called the "lazorbeamz"

 LongLeggedLarry:  So he was removed when that was brought to light.

 LongLeggedLarry:  Obviously that would have been a serious problem so I have come to grips with the unfortunate demise of my father.

 RonnieVanZant:  This is a serious interview - if you don't want to answer, just pass. if you want to jerk around with silly answers, we'll just say goodbye.

 RonnieVanZant:  What would you prefer?

 LongLeggedLarry:  I'm giving you my honest answers, if you'd rather not hear them I suppose we can end early.

 LongLeggedLarry:  If you're looking for some other reason that Transistor died perhaps you should read what was written many months ago explaining it.

 RonnieVanZant:  Let's try an easier one. What do you think you're best known for?

 LongLeggedLarry:  I hope I'm best known for helping the little ones grow up to be big and strong, running fun little contests on Main Street, and being a friend to those who look out for me.

 RonnieVanZant:  Sure, I know what you mean. Do you find Main Street an easy fit for your brand of engagement than the Streets? Not all of your speeches have been well attended on the Streets

 LongLeggedLarry:  I've had plenty of speeches in the streets that have been well attended. There is certainly a narrative that no one ever shows up to respond, but when you engage as often as my family line has, you'll have hits and misses. I do find that the immediate back and forth of somewhere like Main Street does allow me to engage quicker with others. You can find me there most nights if you'd like to come chat.

 RonnieVanZant:  I am wedded to journalism

 LongLeggedLarry:  and handsome, to boot.

 RonnieVanZant:  Can you talk about your endeavours during Hugo's rogue antics?

 LongLeggedLarry:  It does not bring any specific recollection. Another throwaway doing damage whilst they can.

 RonnieVanZant:  You shot yourself trying to kill Kuku. How did you feel?

 LongLeggedLarry:  I thought it was hilarious. The speech in the streets was a fantastic sprinkling of smashed humble pie. If you can't laugh at yourself in a situation like that you need to re-examine your mind.

 RonnieVanZant:  Did you re-examine your mind?

 LongLeggedLarry:  I believe at the time I laughed at myself, thereby releasing the need to do so.

 RonnieVanZant:  I have asked some friends to provide questions, here are a few

 RonnieVanZant:  "Was it you or Warmonger who sent Gillian the anonymous note that sent her into a meltdown?"

 RonnieVanZant:  "Do you think your ancestors would be embarrassed by how quickly you swallowed your pride and started working for Spike almost immediately after he killed Transistor?"

At this moment RonnieVanZant provided details of a transcript of a group conversation that he had been provided with

 LongLeggedLarry:  I don't send anonymous notes, I send mails. I'm not ashamed of my actions and have nothing to hide.

 RonnieVanZant:  So it was Warmonger?

 RonnieVanZant:  and the second question?

 LongLeggedLarry:  I work with Spike because I like him and I think he has a good moral compass- he's built a very formidable group who are ready and willing to defend one another at the drop of a hat.

 LongLeggedLarry:  I'll kill every last person who threatens our way of life.

 RonnieVanZant:  Did Transistor threaten your way of life?

 LongLeggedLarry:  I mean obviously the martian takeover thing with the lazorbeamz was a problem. We might not be here today if that plan had come to fruition.

 RonnieVanZant:   I can see the memory of that killing is painful for you

 RonnieVanZant:  You claim to be owed $80m. Tell me about this, and how much have you recouped?

 LongLeggedLarry:  I have recouped approximately $5 million in donations from those who support my cause.

 LongLeggedLarry:  We're still working on the rest, but I'm sure we'll get recouped eventually.

 RonnieVanZant:  what is that cause?

 RonnieVanZant:  Do you genuinely believe that the Kuku lineage will ever pay you $80m?

 LongLeggedLarry:  I do. I think the lineage is of good faith and holds up their end of all dealings.

 LongLeggedLarry:  The cause is for Transistor Trivia, all that money would go into prizezs for Main Street and their enjoyment.

 LongLeggedLarry:  In honor of my martian father.

 RonnieVanZant:  A noble cause

 RonnieVanZant:  Tell me when you first became aware of the Kuku lineage

 LongLeggedLarry:  According to his notes, the Kuku lineage became obsessed with my father in the early days of Transistor's run. He's tried to shake him off his pants at every turn, but it appears it is simply not possible. We've considered pest control or an exorcism but we're still exploring our options and will make sure to alert the public when a path is decided.

 RonnieVanZant:  But when did *you* become aware of the Kuku lineage? What happened?

 LongLeggedLarry:  The Kuku lineage is one of a thousand faces. I couldn't tell you when I first encountered the enigma. Sometimes you think you're talking to Kuku but it's really someone else. A very clever ruse, but devalues the brand.

 LongLeggedLarry:  I wish I had a better answer for you, but I don't.

 RonnieVanZant:  Do you remember TheBeast?

 RonnieVanZant:  or LostBoy?

 LongLeggedLarry:  I recognize the names, but I don't know who they are.

 RonnieVanZant:  TheBeast was a crew-leader who is best known for claiming Kuku owed him $80m and never being paid it

 RonnieVanZant:  LostBoy was a Consigliere who was the victim of a random gun attach

 LongLeggedLarry:  I presume this is why Kuku regularly offers "$80m" for things and does not deliver, but my family line was not on these shores at that time.

 RonnieVanZant:  Tell me about your lineage. How many of your relatives have worn the coveted bold suit? Any names we might recognise?

 LongLeggedLarry:  I don't divulge my past names unless I wish to.

 RonnieVanZant:  I can see a way for you to do that

 LongLeggedLarry:  My family has been around these shores on and off for many years.

 RonnieVanZant:  Of what are you most proud?

 LongLeggedLarry:  Oh, that is a good question. I am most proud of creating engagement in times where there is very little. Taking risks, bringing up the no name c who wants a chance, or rallying the troops in times of importance.

 RonnieVanZant:  Can you talk about a no-name C you've helped?

 LongLeggedLarry:  If you want specific names, I don't think that is within the scope of this interview.

 RonnieVanZant:  Write your own eulogy, please

 LongLeggedLarry:  God if you're about to have me killed I'm going to have to applaud you

 LongLeggedLarry:  umm..

 LongLeggedLarry:  Another cog in the murder machine

 RonnieVanZant:  When do you think Spike will see you as a threat?

 LongLeggedLarry:  Ideally he doesn't. I make every effort to be a positive part of the process; but you know as well as I do that rumors spin and things are blown out of proportion. Stuff does happen. I'm not one to cry over spilt milk. We didn't over Transistor and we won't over Larry.

 LongLeggedLarry:  If it happens, it happens.

 RonnieVanZant:  Can I borrow $80m?

 LongLeggedLarry:  If I had it, I'd give it to you just for the joke.

 RonnieVanZant:  I'd give you it back

 RonnieVanZant:  what advice would you have for Kuku?

 LongLeggedLarry:  If Kuku were here I'd say he's honestly fucking hilarious and to keep doing what he's doing.

 LongLeggedLarry:  but that might ruin the illusion so

 LongLeggedLarry:  I guess I'd say give me my 80m

 RonnieVanZant:  how much could you get together quickly?

 LongLeggedLarry:  I could probably whip up $30 or $40

 LongLeggedLarry:  dollars

 LongLeggedLarry:  I plan to make a donation to whatever this publication is

 RonnieVanZant:  That will do, send it over

 LongLeggedLarry:  of $3m

 RonnieVanZant:  can you think of anyone else who's worth interviewing?

 LongLeggedLarry:  Spike would be a good interview.

: RonnieVanZant:  OK, thank you

I'm LongLeggedLarry and I approve this message.

Larry ribbits and hops off hoping others will read Ronnie's first issue of The Free Bird Press.

As he read the first issue of free bird press he found himself nodding and even laughing at some of it. StripheCorelli knew the streets had been quiet and something creative like this could bring some life, and hopefully some money to the creator. 

I personally enjoyed reading this and will also make a donation.. keep up the good work

As he finished reading the rest, he placed the newspaper down on his desk and smiled while nodding his head to the lady in the corner to get him a drink and a cigar. 

When I had first heard about The Free Bird Press I was apprehensive that we'd be seeing more run of the mill journalism with little to no effort. Heck half the time they can't even be bothered to make a second publication, despite calling themselves weekly news. 

That was until I picked up a copy of The Free Bird Press. This piece of groundbreaking work will surely echo throughout the zeitgeist of culture forever. These interviews have the potential to be as impactful and far reaching as even the Systemic Immolation of Thought. Only a few times a generation can you look at someone and say, "Is this the greatest of our time?" 

I am hopeful that we will get an interview series with other leaders in the future. I think it is great to see this type of insight from our leaders and get a bit of insider information on how they are on a personal level.

Very good stuff here and keep up the interviews. 

WE WANT ANSWERS 

Thanks, Ginger.  I asked OliverQueen if I could interview him.  He hasn't confirmed but I'm confident his sparkling personality will shine brightly.  Jono too

In a dark age of Mafia Journalism I am happy to see that at least there's one person who still dares to ask the hard hitting questions in pursuit of THE TRUTH.

What did we know of @LarryLongLegs before? Very little. What do we know of him now? Quite a lot actually.

We were given an opportunity to peer into his soul through this interview. A look at the man inside of the grease-stained frog costume smelling like a combination of alcohol, sweat and perhaps most surprisingly: Lobster Ravioli. We do not know yet why this man makes ribbit sounds and is convinced he's a frog, but we've been given enough clues to puzzle together his psychological profile.

My main takeaway from this interview is that @LarryLongLegs is a stingy bastard who wouldn't even loan a hard working and honest journalist 80 million dollars, pretending that "he doesn't have the money". What a cheapskate.

RonnieVanZant I look forward to future interviews. My vote for next interviewee goes to FuriousWolf.

I see that in my last comment I wrongly referred to LongLeggedLarry as LarryLongLegs.

There is only one fitting punishment for this. Grab the banana cream pies, everyone.

To the mystery murderer of Sneed (there is a prime suspect but they will be left unnamed), this isn't a competitive writing competition so holster your weapons.

It was me. I did it.

I've heard much about this shady LarryLongLegs individual. This isn't the first time his name has been brought up and I think we're all wondering; just who the heck is this guy anyway? 

Could he be a long lost brother? A jilted lover? A figment of our collective imagination? I thought this interview gave me the answers I was looking for, but now I'm left with more questions than ever. 

Will LarryLongLegs make an appearance, or will he remain shrouded in mystery waiting for the right moment to make himself known. 

Only time will tell. Unless of course the Free Bird Press can get ahold of him for an exclusive interview.  

Well, who remembers the Grin lineage?  Well, I had an interview with him booked tonight and he postponed.

Surprised?  No, me neither.  

Anyone got a question they want put to him?  $500k for each usable question and a million for the best

How will you ask the questions we put forward if he has postponed. 

Go and kidnap him, tie him up and waterboard him

Nice shirt, Polio.  TAL.

Could you contribute some funds towards said kidnapping?

How much do you need to carry out this work?

Polio - $80,000,000?

Sounds good to me 

Your accountant makes note that $80,000,000 has been wired to RonniVanZent from your account. The note "For the kidnapping mission" was included.

Polio.  You might want to discuss this with your accountant because I haven't received it

It was sent, let me resend it. Hopefully you aren't scamming me and taking 160 million.

Your accountant makes note that $80,000,069 has been wired to RonniVanZent from your account. The note "the previous monies may have got lost" was included.

Polio, still no cash, sir.  Could you send it to a trusted third party?  Perhaps Ginger?

I am always happy to accept cash payments for safe holding and even safer disposal if so necessary. I've been hearing rumors that bank couriers and even some of the larger transports were being held up and... redirected sometimes. 

I once saw a man put a bank deposit into one of those weird tubes at the bank and it just launched itself away. There one moment and gone in an instant. Really crazy stuff. But anyway, the moral of the story is be careful with your money otherwise it might end up in a tube jettisoned into space or some shit. 

So yes. Send me the 80 Million Beast bucks and I'll make sure it gets into the right hands, or something like that anyway.