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From The Desk Of TOF: Responsible Transgressing Started by: TomOfFinland on Aug 18, '24 20:25

From the desk of TomOfFinland:

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Dear all,

What a crazy time. My clique has turned on each other and split into multiple factions. I've attempted to repair this division by arguing with my opposition in long, uninterrupted paragraphs on The Streets but it appears we are not making progress. It turns out trying to squeeze everything I want to say into one long statement before anyone can interject, and sitting idly and unjusty by as my opponent does the same, is not extremely conducive to creating a mutual understanding. As this lesson doesn't support my growing determination that I am really smart and they are really stupid, I plan to discard it and destroy my newfound clarity in a wave of snarky witticisms that no one will find funny except the people who are forced to for the sake of social acceptance. Many of my peers have called my sense of humor very unique, in the sense that it is smart, but also very funny. 

I added AlliedProWacker to our purge list today, on account of his growing influence within the crew and the destruction of the personal clique that bonded our loyalty of friendship above all notion of hierarchy and family, as is mafia tradition. I fear I will have to wash the streets with his blood if I'm going to make any kind of point about where noses need to be going. Once the deed is done, I will break the tension with a smart joke, that is also very funny. In doing so, I will establish that:

I am just a regular guy, with a family who respects but also fears him.

That I am smart, but also very funny.

That the imprint on my leather pants is not what you think it is. 

That I am a better Questioner Of It Being Or Not Being About Money than him. 

That I am a better person than him.

I plan to do this without "emotion" because "emotion" can mean many things. E-motion. Electronic motion. Toasters. Bread goes down, toast goes up. Emo-tion. Sad music for actionable nouns. "Emotions". The things I observe and try to mimic in other human beings. By acting "emotionally" you set yourself up for the risk of becoming "likeable", a devastating personal drawback to my calculated and no holds barred process of schedule-oriented rival elimination or equally "devoting inordinate amounts of time overexplaining why your ancestors made utterly uninteresting decisions, like thinking anyone cares why Music was killed, or why you shot Ketamine and not Sniffler". I have seen that fork in the road, and plowed straight forward into the brush, muttering a series of smart and carefully incisive rib-ticklers to myself as I did, and as I tend to do. 

The truth is, I'm not sure if my super-clique will ever repair itself after this. We were the best friends anyone has ever had. If you're reading this - especially you, AlliedProWacker  - I'm not sorry but I am almost "emotional". 

Thank you.

Tom Of Finland

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I think I speak for everyone when I ask - what is  that imprint on your leather pants if it's really not what we think it is?

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A lady never tells, DeadlySin. 

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This is fantastic. You made fun of us both and gave me a chuckle at the same time. Well done.

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I have taken away three things from this magnificent speech:

  • I am on a purge list. This becoming public knowledge and informing me of it is a bold move, unprecedented even. What is TomOfFinland's goal in telling me I am on a list? To deter me from putting in work for The Questions of Money? To try and make me flee and find protection in another family to get rid of me without shedding any blood? Jokes on him I'm not going anywhere and will continue to be a good boy.
  • That Tom thinks he is a better person than me. A man's worth is not decided by the size of the bulge in his pants, son.
  • "Emotion" is a complex concept with many potential meanings. I am reminded of Systematic Immolation of Thought.

 

Knowing I am on a list does not frighten me, but I will continue to rally more Questions to my support anyways. I will also continue to look for support from outside authority figures like Ben_Russo, whose endorsement I expect to secure within the next day or so.

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