Citizens.

A couple of days ago I bravely set forth on my first sally, my first Inquiry as a Question of Money namely "A Question of Speeches".

Who did it best? Brick of Goku descent? Or DeadlySpike of Spike descent? Who is cooler based on their performance? And what does the public think of the late LongLeggedLarry's son (not to be confused with LarryLongLegs) no longer being allowed to play cards with his friends?

WE HAD MANY QUESTIONS, and the public has gracefully answered them. Today we present you the results. To improve clarity we will refer to Brick and DeadlySpike as "Goku" and "Spike" respectively from now on. Also the ancestry of "LongLeggedLarry" will be referred to as "Transistor", the contemporary name of their lineage.

First I will give you some statistics and some cherry-picked answers, and at the very end I shall provide the receipts.

RESULTS AND STATISTICS

Q1: Did Spike’s speech positively influence your opinion of him?

Yes: 41%
No: 59%

Q2: Did Goku’s speech positively influence your opinion of him?

Yes: 41%
No: 59%

Q3: Whose speech was better overall?

Goku: 41%
Spike: ~33%
Both sucked: ~26%

No, that was not a printing error. Both men's speeches had the same kind of impact on their standing. It should be noted that Goku was SQUARELY ahead at first, but that this seems to have been evened out in the last day.

Despite this, however, Goku's speech was slightly better received than Spike's (My own guess is his strategic use of his status as a family man is what did it), with a minority of people thinking both sucked.

Q4: Based on the 2 speeches given, who do you think can lift heavier weights?

Goku: ~67%
Spike: ~33%

Goku's speech clearly had a higher "Tough guy" appeal. We tend to agree. If any future Mafia Boxing events were to be held, we would strongly advise the organiser to pit Goku and Spike against one another. It would be an interesting fight.

Q5: Was it a question of money?

Yes: ~51%
No: ~49%

The eternal question. A very clean split. Remarkable.

Q6: Describe Goku and Spike’s relationship in a single word

Choice picks (full results in the recepts):

Lovers

It's the unlikeliest of relationships. Your traditional power bottom (Goku) and possibly the most sociopathic of incels (Spike) on a collision course towards eternal love. It was never supposed to happen, but fate had other ideas.

Freudian

Emotional

Parenthetical

Pathetic

Homoerotic

We would like to remark that some participants do not know how to count words, even if one only has to count to one.

Q7: Could this bloodshed have been prevented with a timely and civilized sitdown? Or was there some Other way it could have been prevented?

No: ~54%
Yes: ~18%
Other: ~28%

Other choice picks (full results in the receipts):

By using big words and making lame brags like "I've been a Godfather more times than you"

A takedown would have prevented it. Words would never stop the blood.

It could have all been prevented had Spike stopped appearing in main saying such & such a person was whatever animal. It's a total creepshow

Smashing booties

Why haven't you published the results coward

Q8: Is it justified for Transistor to no longer be allowed to play card games with Spike?

No: 59%
Yes: 41%

The public comes to Transistor's rescue, but just barely. We kindly implore DeadlySpike to invite Transistor to come play cards with him, regardless of whether this whole allegation was fiction or fact to begin with.

Q9: Other Thoughts?

Choice picks (full results in receipts):

It takes some doing to come across as pretentious and unlikeable as Spike but Goku manages to do it

Transistor gets stun locked by Kuku. He actually took the banter seriously and personally, which is extremely funny.

folks shouldn't kill their friends who are loyal, especially for the purpose of being too loyal. The regime has shit for brains.

Why was there a neither option for the lifting weights section? I would have answered that.

RonnieVanZant needs to stop being a dick to Ben_Russo.

The Questions of Money rocks

The same brain that claims to use parenthetically in every day speech also can't spell eluded. Riddle me that, Mr. Thesaurus. The only thing lamer is claiming to have won a war wherein you, every single person who helped you and were sponsored by you (and then abandoned) died. These people could not be bigger dorks if they tried. Many a lonely WoW night awaits. Not for Transistor though, he's standing outside Spike's mom's basement fogging up the glass, the reject of the rejects.

I can assure you that BagpipeBarry is renowned for much more than than simply blowing.

They all suck

CLOSING WORDS

Please send me money.

RECEIPTS CAN BE FOUND HERE

I appreciate your work AlliedProWacker. 

I love the passion and feelings we get to see on display. 

Thank you all for your input!

Attached are the results for my own survey (which was massmailed widely across the cities). I should note that it was discovered in the process that people were able to vote multiple times. I do not trust the results in my survey, nor do I claim victory. In the future, we should find a better platform for surveys to ensure integrity. I will do research on this, and hopefully find a safe and secure balloting system for the real election. 

Preliminary Election Survey

DeadlySpike, you could try using strawpoll for future polls. It allows you to set it so that it's only one vote per person. People would have to go to vast lengths to allow themselves to make multiple responses. Interesting results though, unfortunately it does look like multiple votes were cast by some players. In an idea world people would have the integrity not to abuse such factors. But alas this is not the world we gangsters live in this day and age. I pray that all gangsters become better individuals and grow themselves to be mature in nature with their actions. Maybe one day we can make being a gangster reputable and great again! Maybe then we can elect a true leader of the streets that we will all follow and respect!