Dear general public

I come to you today with an honest plea. I have come to ask you to give me money.

As you can see The Other Transistors headquarters are not fortified. There is no security. No grumpy guard at the gate. Not even a single territorial guard goose in the front yard hissing at the milkman as he delivers our nectar of the Gods.

Our humble headquarters are almost begging to be raided, for someone to swoop in and empty our cafeteria fridge and make off with Ganymede's stash of Pastrami sandwiches. I do not want our members to be without pastrami sandwiches, and neither should you.

You might be asking yourself: why do we need a fundraiser for fortifications???

• A lot of our existing Free Cash is set aside for a legal war chest to fend off random Goombas making spurious claims of 80 million dollars over fake agreements nobody remembers and quite frankly nobody is interested in.
• Seeing how our tax rates are set to 0% as per Ronnie's vision that "tax is theft", our tax income is less than stellar. My own tax rates are the exception to this rule, being set to 100% since I am not trusted to handle my own money.
• To protect us from Skorp.

The target of this fundraiser is 50 million dollars (the fort money and a small administrative fee for yours truly). Money can be sent either as tips (and please, for the love of Allah, tip generously), or can be wired directly to me.

Help us keep The Streets safe and keep Skorp at a comfortable distance. Thank you.

Shouldn't this be better called The Skorp Protection Fund? The Skorp 2 - 0 Ronnie Fund? The Skorp Should've Been Purged Fund? I'd like to put any leftover money towards renovating the attic, where there currently roosts a family of bats I've started to call The Ligambis. 

Beef - put on a bright suit so we can see you, for goodness sake.

Check out this high flyer:

Sorry boss, forgot to put on my high-vis VIP gear. I'm pleased to see Gordon get us off and running. As the RHM, it's always nice seeing the regular crew riff-raff get involved. And what a great turnout already. 50k in the fund, Skorp not having killed you yet, we're doing very well. 

Did someone say pastrami fund? If so, I’m so staunchly in support of this I am willing provide a lap dance for all donors pledging six digits or more. Extras, including costumes and/or props must be agreed by prior consent, and are chargeable in the form of pastrami sandwiches.

N.B. No liability will be accepted for any injury or death, arising from crushing in the course of any promotional offers.

Today was an eventful day.

An agent of Skorp's was sent to take my life, to extinguish the fiercely burning flame of my soul. The hitman missed, making a good of himself, and then (desperate after his inability to take me out by regular means became clear) proceeded to challenge me to a duel.

Skorp's agent had forgotten one thing however: you cannot duel without a gun.

PATHETIC.

If there is one good thing that has come of this traumatic experience, it's that it has vindicated my fundraiser. Despite us being nowhere near the 50 million dollar goal yet, and donations from prominent "Extremely Rich" crime bosses still being severely lacking, I have been proven right in that we need these fortifications to be protected from Skorp. Or at the very least I need them.

We're currently sitting at a humble $250,000. By my estimations this would mean that it is going to take another 200 days before this fundraiser reaches its modest goal of 50 million dollars. Am I going to be able to survive that long without fortifications? I strongly doubt it.

We, as a community, can do better.

If you don't want to do it for GordonGopher, do it for upstanding members such as WhyIsTheToaster or Ronmael. But definitely don't do it for rascals such as Beef.

Come. Give me money.

There are two types of people in life:

1. Those who go out every day wearing respectful Mafia suits and wearing hats, committing enough crimes to earn a gun 

2. Useless people. Incompetent god fearing midgets who aren't manly enough to get a gun. 

Which one are you GordonGopher? A lack of gun on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.

I have been asking to be a Hand in Chicago for at least 15 minutes. If i cannot achieve this under DeadlySin perhaps I could kill you and achieve my dream under Ronnie?

Nov 25, 17:51:31     You caught up with MotorcycleBoy, beat them within an inch of their life, and took $612
Nov 25, 17:51:19     MotorcycleBoy PICKPOCKETED you, taking $15,000 from you. If you are quick enough, you can extract a little revenge.

GordonGopher 1, MotorcycleBoy 0.

Simmer down, son.

GordonGopher proceeds to hunch over and ook like an enraged gorilla and beat his chest.

MotorcycleBoy, if you killed GordonGopher I'm not sure we'd have any choice but to give you his position. In fact, I'll pay you $80m to do it. How strong is your gun? If you could start purging several more of these do-nothing, non-donators, even better.

It's been too long since Skorp's surfaced. Without these fortifications, I'm beginning to become worried for Ronnie's safety. It's quiet. Too quiet. Like a Transistor speech.