Vinny remembered the happy days spent in Joe_Ligambi's HQ. Joe hadn't been there at all, maybe that was why it was great. He didn't promote any of his members either because he was too busy to bother. That seems reasonable and exactly the type of dedication we need from our bosses. Would you see Vinny neglecting his faithful troops like that? Absolutely not. That wasn't his way. Not his style. And boy, did he have style. Hot on the heels of his debate being closed by the Gods, he reappeared in the Streets. What was cooler than one auth announcement?

Two auth announcements. I was only joking in that other speech when I said we wanted answers. Ha ha ha. Good one, Vinny. No, this is actually where you give your answers for tipping Mokus' terrible, terrible street appearance. That other one is locked, loaded and placed in historical record for all time. Wyzguy will forever be commemorated as a 119 day old guy who made smoking seem uncool. 

God bless him. May his descendants be significantly cooler and avoid the Lil_Peep/Crow shame of each successive branch being more embarrassing than the last. 

Now, onto business.

The 13 clowns who tipped Mokus for his abomination of an auth announcement. Come forward to the front of the class and explain yourselves. 

Vincenzo_Santoro, I would like to thank you for your service. It's brought to light a troubling theory:

Are we too uneducated?

Ladies and gentlemen, the academic standards on these shores have fallen too far. We used to be proud. We used to be curious. We used to READ. When was the last time you picked up a book? All PlagueDoctor thinks they're good for is sneaking into library bathrooms and touching himself to Middlemarch. Disgusting. Another CL thinks he's a squirrel. Picture how his last report card came out; incredibly worrying for the third grade, I would assume. 

Space-to-the-pole spends his days dreaming of Platonic Kuku's, Amira pens odes to an undead husband, and CharlesBronson's brainworm is starving in plain sight. 

A line has been drawn. Let this be a lesson to you all: 

It is spelled W-I-S-E G-U-Y, not W-Y-Z-G-U-Y. 

RIP Wyzguy and kudos to his noble slayer.

Alen, that type of response make me wonder if you were one of the braindead 13. Do you have something you want to admit to us? 

Honour? I spent my entire life serving faithfully. Vittorio first of all, where I did all that was asked, the deplorable Ronnie, where I did all that was asked, then Amira albeit briefly. Not one of those bosses asked for my lineage or for any means of communication aside from my mailbox here. Joe contacted me this morning asking for a means of reaching me. We can all guess what would have happened next, given the old Joseph heave-ho and into the sea. Would that be honourable? Who would have mourned for Vinny when the mourners offered only their request for no witnesses to his murder? 

Alen. It is A-L-A-N. Right your own ship before you come broadsiding into poor Vincenzo. 

I'm very sorry about your stupid father, Alan. My father had the wherewithal to give me an excellent name: Terrific Rigoberto. He was a great man. 

You've lost the plot, gentle misspelled Alen, my name is clearly Terrific Rigoberto. Space and all. My father was a saint. Don't project your illiterate dad onto mine. Have you heard PlagueDoctor's thoughts on library bathrooms?

"I said to "go live out your sexual fantasies in a library", which, for normal people, means finding the romance section, picking out the dirtiest, nastiest book they've got, then going and jacking off in a bathroom somewhere"

If your father took less of his advice and more of mine, you wouldn't be in this embarrassing situation.  

Charles, I've watched you from afar, witnessed your stupidity in the Lounge speakeasy like a trepid explorer watching the world's stupidest gorilla punch itself repeatedly in it's own cock and wonder why its balls ache. Now you do me the honour of displaying that same winning intellect upon the Streets. 

A man too stupid to recognise the difference between games and reality even when it is spelled out in front of your face. If you and another person with half a brain came together to have a chat, there would be half a brain having a conversation. Nobody has messaged you, certainly not one of my Style posse. And crying about Spike? Hardly. The biggest crime the man has committed in my opinion is subjecting us all to Mokus. A squirrel, honestly. Deary me.

Didn't think stupidity could be labeled

CharlesBronson, stupidity is quite easily labeled, generally you would do it by calling someone or something stupid.

Here's an example I hope you'll be able to follow:

Charles, I find the things you say rather stupid.

See how easy that was?

Vincenzo_Santoro you seem to be upsetti spaghetti at the 13 tipsters. Are you angry because there is 13 people who tipped or are you angry because of the amount tipped by the 13 people or are you angry because 13 people read the thread before tipping it or are you angry that these 13 tipsters did not come to attend your speeches or are you angry because the 13 people who tipped decided to show their support for the squirrel (or was it a hamster?) by tipping or are you angry because 13 people were directed by their upper structure to tip threads at the threat of being purged or are you angry because 13 people did not tip you or are you angry.

What I'm saying is: Is it a question of money?

Charles, you're out here confusing a person called StylePolice with a movement founded by the late great Hugo, a man who raised a mighty hoof and stomped Lil_Peep into dust and which has latterly been championed by me, a long lived Wise Guy with the fashion appeal of a runway model. I might even be a runway model at this point, honestly. But in true simpleton fashion, rather than realise this, sit back, enjoy how much my hat is bringing out my eyes and close your idiot mouth before more idiot words leak out, you're letting the idiot charge around like a frightened gazelle, spreading out into the atmosphere to idiot all over the rest of us.

A other character. Deary me. Yes, please refresh my memory with events I wasn't party to, Charles. Go ahead. And can you also invite Tutte along by any chance? I like my moronic drivel as a sandwich and you two boys can be the disadvantaged bread.

Striphe.

Your man here, really? Are you serious with this? It isn't a good look and if any knows what looks good, it is me. 

I WAS ONE OF THE THIRTEEN! That's right. And then I joined said squirrel.

Plenty of squirrels have served in Cosa Nostra with hono(u)r. It's a tradition as old as the original Sicilian squirrel, Fuzzybutt.

Have you read Systematic Immolation of Thought? If you had, you probably wouldn't be in such an uproar. It has a calming effect.

Oh dear Chuckster, you’re beginning to sound like the LuisPatangeli line with the amount of lame accusations you’re throwing around here. It appears the movement name thief - henceforth known as TMNT - has you quite rattled, and you’ve managed to get your dungarees in a twist. I’m beginning to admire TMNT for inspiring so much raw rage during such a short life.

Since we have established the heroic Vincenzo is not the same as TMNT, would you care to leave a public message for him? Perhaps apologise for mistaking him for someone as brave and impressive as Vincenzo? You may have got TMNT’s hopes up that he might finally be a someone worthy of the MR hall of fame… or maybe you agree that TMNT should be the newest inductee?

I was minding my own business when I saw a pair of shoes, scuffed and patent leather, on the feet of a crew-leader.  These shoes, which can only be described as the type of sartorial atrocity more commonly associated with Lil_Peep, sickened me.

But I looked around and what did I see?  Did I see spatz, tailored shirts, and the type of men who source their garments from Saville Row despite living in desperate poverty in Italian-American slums?  No, I did not.  What I saw, instead, was @Captofthevessel.  What a tramp, what a disgrace.  What an unstylish cretin.

So, I did what anyone would do, I got in touch with a man, a well-dressed man, a man who is stamping his elegantly enclosed foot onto a well manicured lawn and saying, nay SCREAMING, "smarten up."  And I told that man where he could put a man, dressed as a youth, into the ground, permanently.

I would like to pay tribute to my former boss, StripheGotti.  A man of rare ability and charm, and a man I am proud to say gave me a chance, and I am ashamed to say I sort-of betrayed.

To Mokus, I say: stop the relentless hatred towards me.  Too many have died already.

To LostBoy, I say: come out.  You didn't deserve those prizes.

And to all of those who wonder how toasters work:  I see you.  You are welcome.

I cannot possibly wait until the media gets a hold of this and names and shames it for what it is.

Quite possibly the worst, most embarrassing, end-your-own-career level rogue of all time.

If Vincenzo gets out of this with even a dusting, even a molecular speck of self respect, we must ensure he stays away from the life of crime for the remainder of his family tree's existence. More misses in a day than my career in a lifetime. More faux paus than a stuffed marsupial with prosthetic hands. More dead air between shots than a funeral home after bankruptcy.

GRHS.

Anyone remember that time a Transistor missed when he tried to kill one of the Kuku lineage?  Hilarious.

Almost as funny as either or both occasions when one of of the Transistor lineage lost his crew, and even his city, because of his strange fixation on  the Kuku lineage.

Stop it, son.  You're like TheBeast but much shitter.

Your defense of such a "shit my pants and forgot what I was doing" rogue is so on brand.

Get it girl.