Walking down the street worrying about how you will get away with your latest caper, you feel miraculous relief to see the inconspicuous shop 'Alibi Creator Service' A small bell over the door jingles when you walk in. The place looks a little messy, books stacked in random places and papers scattered across the desk.  You check out the titles and notice ‘101 Ways to Disappear Without a Trace’, and ‘The Fine Art of Appearing Innocent When You’re Not!’

Behind a desk sits a guy with a nametag on his oversized apron that reads ‘LittleAlexHorne.’  He is scribbling on a notepad.  He looks up at you with excitement. 

“Hello!” he says, with an overly eager smile.  “You need an alibi?  Something real solid that no one would ever think to question?"

On the counter in front of him are a few sheets of paper, each with alibis written on them.  You eye the papers and read one that says, 'I was at a museum, in front of the dinosaur exhibit, when a little kid asked me if the bones were real. I spent the next several minutes explaining very seriously that dinosaurs never existed. Pretty sure I changed that kid’s life.'

A small sign on the wall says 'Alibis are in the details.  We don’t just say where you were, we say everything you saw as well.'

LittleAlexHorne looks at you, sensing the reason for your hesitation.  “You needn't  worry, your privacy is 100% guaranteed or your money back.  We don’t talk to the police, or your significant other.”

The doors flies up as Sonny Trabotti comes barging into the alibi creator service. He looks franticly around then adresses the person behind the counter.

YOU  lets say someone accidentially partyed with some very young girls and there was alot of alkohol and some cocaine and some pills to land chilly with...and it well totally hypothetically offcourse, got out of hand and someone is in the hospital getting pumped out. Do you have a good alibi for that. And mind you there was witnesses   several   although most of them either works for me, do business with me or are scared of me. 

Sonny took a deep breath and a swig of the flask he always carried in his pocket.

My main concern is my wife and the girls father, in that order.

He then looks full of expectations and the guy behind the counter.

LittleAlexHorne studies the man in front of him for a moment, considering, then he pulled out the bottom drawer out of the filing cabinet behind his desk.  He shuffles through the folders for quite a while, and it seems as though he had flipped through them twice before he selects one and pulls it out on the desk.  The file folder tab reads ‘Troubled Youths.” 

Pushing his clipboard out of the way, he opens the folder and skims the contents, nodding to himself.  

“Um… ok..  Let’s say this had happened to me. I actually wouldn’t try to use an alibi at all.  To my wife I would explain that I was hosting a pizza party for the local kids to talk to them about the dangers of drugs and liquor.  I would probably specify that I ordered 13 pepperoni pizzas and one veggie pizza because a short blonde complained that she didn’t eat meat.  I might also remark on how kids these days are too picky...But then I guess, you know, that’s just the way things are now.”  

LittleAlexHorne looked down at his notes, rereading a section before continuing. “Anyway,. I’d tell her it was community outreach. Maybe the kids I had been hiring to work for me lately kept messing up because they were high.  At the start of the party maybe I had the pills and the alcohol that the kids already had on hand.  I was going to do the responsible thing and turn it in. At the party once the food arrived I would have been focused on entertaining the kids, and some kids broke into the stash and took some without being noticed.  They overdid it, and now I’m having to take this kid to the hospital."

"To the girl’s father I would explain the same situation and emphasize how quickly I acted to get the girl the medical attention she needed.  I might also pull him aside and let him know that the thug who stole the drugs and gave them to her -" LittleAlexHonre pauses checking his clipboard for a moment.  He picked up a pen and crosses a name off a list. “The guy - Cecil Stewart from Corktown - had been .. uh,” LittleAlexHorne clears his throat then swallows… “taken care of” he finished. 

Looking up he waited a beat looking for a reaction but not really sure what he expected that reaction to be.  Feeling awkward in the silence he continued, “So um, that’s basically it.  I could add some more specifics, hypothetically I could mention a few of the guys who work for me to the wife since I know they will back me up.  Might ask them to tell the story to their wives, because… wives talk right?  I mean, I’m just saying, I would probably say it exactly like that or I don’t know, maybe not,”  He trailed off, slightly unsure of himself. 

Summer opens the door, setting off the bell which causes her to startle...she lunges back into a strange stance...what can best be described as crouching with her rear and head sticking out. Once she realizes what the noise was she looks around and her face turns red. A rare moment of embarrassment...she stands up quickly and once again opens the door. She walks up to the counter and smiles before she makes her request. 

"Hello, I'm looking for something ethereal perhaps...maybe hard to place is a better word. I'm hoping you can assist once I explain. I was told this was the perfect place to come with such a strange request."

She giggles, opens her purse and takes out a picture of what appears to be an ordinary goat. She places the picture on the counter. 

"I need to..."

She pauses and chooses her next words deliberately. 

"I believe its impossible to speak to animals. Yet, I've heard from reliable sources that it is in fact possible to communicate with animals on a very limited scale. I understand this likely isn't your expertise YET!"

She once again pauses, this time looking around to ensure no others can hear her. She leans in closely

She whispers

"I believe you may know of a way to get around this odd request, you understand?"

She leans away and speaks regularly again.

"If you do understand, I need someone, when the time is right....to know that I was here today, with you."

She squints and shakes her head up and down.

"Are we, in agreement?"

Hearing the bell, LittleAlexHorne looks up with so much excitement he fumbles his clipboard. He watches her strike a ninjaesque pose with a mix of confusion and concern but tries to look professional when she approaches.  

Seeing she was carrying a picture of a goat was only mildly surprising, and was far from the strangest thing he had seen in his line of work.  “Hmm.  Ethereal or hard to place.. Uh animal communication?”  he asks with some uncertainty.  

He leans in when she starts speaking slow and looks around awkwardly, wondering if maybe she actually wants advice on how to talk to a goat.  “You know, there is this one guy I heard about out in Vegas.  He’s kind of, well I guess he is an expert on squirrel?  Mokus I think he is called.”  He lowers his voice conspiratorially.  “I think maybe he talks to animals, or maybe is one, its not really all too clear but I know him communicates in some fashion.  Maybe he could help?” 

Maybe that wasn’t really the point?  Alex wasn’t sure.  “I can assure you, I am not going to forget that you were here today, talking to me about a goat.  Promise. If you like I could give some non-goat-related reasons for your visit, if that would be better.  Probably I called you in off the street to offer you some cash in return for helping me construct someone else’s alibi. Maybe I needed someone in a hurry to carry an unreasonably large amount of fruit...”  He pauses speaking slowly, almost seeming to think out loud, “um... like maybe 243 pounds of kiwi maybe - to the Motor City Funeral Shop.  If they asked why I needed that sort of help, well of course I couldn’t divulge the nature of my business…  Would that work?”

Suddenly looking very serious, he straightens up and asks, “Did you need anything else?  Like… maybe a pamphlet on goats?”

She notices his change in posture and general attitude, she assumes they must be being listen to. LittleAlexHorne is clearly signaling her...but of what? She smiles and make sure she doesn't look at confused as she feels. 

"No nothing else at all, sir. Have a good day."

She slowly exits the building looking as calm as she possibly can.