| Sep 23 - 18:22:28 |
|
| Post Reply | Post new topic | Page: 1 |
| Of Love and Guns: A Story in Four Parts (1) | Started by: KeatsValjean on Jun 17, '08 03:46 |
|
The first thing I remember seeing was her hair, flowing out from under a wide black hat, trailing down behind a matching black overcoat. I was just strolling through the streets like usual, stopping to listen to an occasional speech, but never contributing. It wasn't that I was trying to be quiet- I just didn't say anything for a long time. Didn't feel like it, I guess. Then I saw this bobbing brunette hair, long and dark and straight. She was walking in the other direction. For a minute I was glad. There's nothing worse than seeing a woman with beautiful hair, or a nice ass, or whatever, and then having her turn around and the sight of her makes you cringe just a bit. Not that there's anything THAT wrong with her, of course. But no one can ever live up to your imagination, and sometimes you feel better when it's left unknown. Maybe that happens for women too- I wouldn't know. Anyways, maybe I was just bored that day. Maybe I had a tiny cramp that my brain thought I should work out. Who knows how many thousands of variables go into any given thing that happens, but I decided to follow her. I put my hands in the pockets of my coat and shoved off the wall I found myself leaning on. At least I'd dressed up today. Black pants, shoes, jacket. Brand new white shirt. And my deep green tie. Not only was it my lucky tie, it also let everyone know that I wasn't planning on going to a funeral. I checked my interior jacket pocket for the cocaine I was carrying and walked briskly down the road after the woman. Her hair looked like it was floating on the ocean, with the clear blue sky surrounding it. For a moment it looked like she turned back my way, but she must have been looking at something else, since she looked straight ahead and kept walking. Then I followed her around a corner and she was gone. I was able to stand around like an idiot with a puzzled look on my face for about three seconds before I felt the muzzle of a gun against the back of my head. I froze, and heard the low, musical voice of a woman say "Why were you following me? Are you one of Johnny's boys? Or just some creep?" Well, neither option seemed all that attractive to me. "Neither, ma'm. I was just wondering if you'd be interested in a poem..." For the first time, I heard her laugh. It reminded me of when I was a young boy, fishing with my father and hearing the gentle murmur of the stream as it would glide over the rocks and flow on its way. Not wanting to end up like my father, who wound up sleeping with those fishes, I offered a chuckle of my own. This was promptly met with pain, as her pistol cracked down on my head and I heard her yell. "What kind of idiot story is that?! Johnny's boys are getting dumber and dumber." I felt the pistol press against my head again, and I heard a deep intake of breath, as if she was steadying herself to pull the trigger. Then an exhalation, and she continued to speak. "You don't... look like one of Johnny's though. His are usually pushing forty and ugly as sin. Do you have any way of proving yourself?" Slowly, I began to fish through my pockets. I found an old, old poem from long ago that somehow wound up crumpled in a ball in my coat, and my business card from my boss out of town. I handed her the card and the poem, which was just a stupid little thing, but I figured it'd be better to deal with embarrassment than a bullet. To my chagrin, I heard her read it out loud. I heard her laugh again, and couldn't help but smile. I felt the gun move away from my head, and took a chance by slowly turning around. I was chuckling at my dumb little poem, but I promptly shut up. She was beautiful. (TO BE CONTINUED) |
|
| Report Post | Tip |
| Very nicely done, i can not wait for the next parts. Bravo. | |
| Reply by: Jonnie_Reese at Jun 18, '08 10:34 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
| Very very well written. As Jonnie said, I can't wait for the next part. | |
| Reply by: Callum at Jun 18, '08 13:31 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
| Well written! I am ready to read the other stories! | |
| Reply by: RebelYell at Jun 18, '08 13:36 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
| Great effort, I enjoyed reading. Keep it up, can't wait for the next one! | |
| Reply by: Mikado at Jun 18, '08 13:39 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
|
I hope we can hear more about the woman's background and "Johnny" in later segments... made me curious. Great story! |
|
| Reply by: Kira_Esposito at Jun 18, '08 17:01 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
|
I really loved this story. I knew she was going to be beautiful. Beautiful and ruthless. |
|
| Reply by: TanyaVincetti at Jun 18, '08 21:39 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
|
Thanks very much to all who offered compliments. Part two is currently up, and I'm planning on releasing parts three and four over the next two days. It's almost entirely finished, so if you're truly, agonizingly bored, MM me and I'll be happy to show you the rest. But I figured since I called it "A Story in Four Parts", I'd better make sure it comes out in four installments :) |
|
| Reply by: KeatsValjean at Jun 18, '08 22:00 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
| Post Reply | View All Threads | Page: 1 |
How much do you want to tip for this post?
Minimum $20,000
Minimum $20,000
