Listen up Mafia America,

I see a lot of bums out there lacking employment and direction. The Mastrosimone Crew can help you solve that.

Who are we, you might ask? We are a proud offshot of the infamous Ligambi Family. Uncle Joe used to took Billy into bed every night. They laughed. They loved. They lived. Bedtime stories? Joe read the fuck out of those books. Advice? Joe has it in spades. Hugs and kisses and time with Uncle Joe? Off the record? Nailed it.

I'm Willy Mastrosimone, son of Billy and I'm out here recruiting for the old man whilst he's busy pruning the family. We have a LOT of space in the family due to high suicide and purging rates. You might think that's a problem but it's not, it's an opportunity! Lots of room for advancement here. You'll have at least 20 days of solid ranking and employment before you're taken out back and shot like an old dog.

Speaking of old dogs, Uncle Joe ignore the bad press. We fucking love ya.

Sincerely

Willy, Son of Billy.

I did some work for the Mastrosimone Crew, got a few dollars and then was sent packing without the offer of further work. If they want to keep up that high mortality rate, they are really going to have to take on willing workers when they present themselves. 

Sadly jobseekers are led astray by a man standing into the streets that falsely portrays himself to be a son of Billy. Dynamite did hear that there was a runaway from the local mental ward who now appeared to think he was related to Billy.
 

Dynamite spit on this imposter and gave him the middle finger.

“Get out of here you phony bastard,” Dynamite yelled to the imposter who called himself “Willy”.

Grin-24, I'm upset my old man passed up on an offer to purge a bloodline as prestigious as yours. Let it be known I'll conduct a thorough post recruitment drive autopsy to understand exactly where the organisation let you down. I can only hope you still find the purging you desire in New York City.

Dynamite, stop talking Dyna-shite. I swear on everything I own that Billy is my father. Billy loves Willly. Why would you try come between a son and his father?

Swear on everything you own? You're barely own your brain let alone anything else. The retirement home is waiting for you.

UncleJoe.. I'm only eleven years old.