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| The Bank of GiveEmAndBleedEmDry | Started by: LeonaHelmsley on Oct 02, '07 11:51 |
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As you walk out of the bank, having been rejected for a loan for the 10th time due to your shady line of work, a man in a dark alley motions you over. Pssst, the word on the street is that you need cash bad. I know just the person who can help you. No its not some shady loanshark, this is one of the richest woman in the world who decided to take her mean streak to the streets and help you poor slobs. Call this number and set up an appoinment. You BETTER be on time or your ass is grass The man walked away leaving you with a card reading: Leona's Bank of GiveEmAndBleedEmDry Short term loans and long term loans. After wondering about this for days, you finaly make the call and get the following letter in the mail the next day. ———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— So you want a loan. Leona's Bank of GiveEmAndBleedEmDry can do that, but you need to understand what its about. Mark Twain said it right: The only people that a bank will loan money to is the very people who don't need it." Short Term Loans ———————— Short terms loans are loans that last 1.5 minutes, enough time to purchase drugs, fly, and sell drugs.If after 1.5 minutes your loan is not fully paid back, you will be dropped in the East River. I'm a rich bitch and I plan to stay that way. Most people are approved for these instant loans. The current interest rate is 10% and the maximum loan amounts are as follows: Civilian: 35,000 Thug: 35,000 Gangster: 35,000 Goomba: 70,000 Earner: 105,000 Wiseguy+: 140,000 Once I respond to your loan request you will be required to give me the following details: Your current location. Long Term Loans Civilian: 350,000 Higher amounts for any rank and better intrests rates will be considered on a individual basis at my own discression. Once I respond to your loan request you will be required to give me the following details: Your father, grandfather, great grandfathers name. Before money is sent, you gotta put down in your ID Papers (profile) the following information: Currently in debt to Leona's Bank of GiveEmAndBleedEmDry for $(put dollar amount here) as of (put date/time paste here) Example: I'm a mean bitch and I don't like to loose money. If you ever miss an interest payment, you will be killed and rewards will be put out on your childrens death until your children pay back the loan. |
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| Nice copying and pasting of Tad's bank. | |
| Reply by: Machiavelli at Oct 02, '07 12:27 | |
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Listen up you punk. Do you think that PERHAPS I might judge any of your crewleaders loan requests based on how I see his whole organization act in public? There sure is a reason my associate Tad and I share the same information with the public in similar manners, so next time just hold your horses. Leona walks away patting her lap dog |
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| Reply by: LeonaHelmsley at Oct 02, '07 12:37 | |
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My point is they're the exact same terms, loans, etc.. :\ Sorry if I came off rude, but what's the difference between you two? |
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| Reply by: Machiavelli at Oct 02, '07 12:48 | |
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| Maybe they are married. They could possibly both be business partners as well. Those could possibly be why terms and loans are the same good sir. | |
| Reply by: TheProfessional at Oct 02, '07 12:57 | |
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Poor Tad. That bitch is a pain the ass. . . . . . . . . . and her owner is also one tough broad! |
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| Reply by: Mars at Oct 02, '07 13:01 | |
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Mars, Thank you for the compliment. I have been given the dispensation from Mr Tad, who has the monopoly on Lending, to run my own line of credit for the customers in the six cities. Thus our rates are the same, since we all are part of the same conglomerate. |
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| Reply by: LeonaHelmsley at Oct 02, '07 16:16 | |
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Watches all the mafiosos running around with gold watches.. and a few float by in the river Good luck with your business, I only hope those who are interested realize the seriousness if they get involved. You are now in a strong strong position of power and I wish you the best of luck maam and hope and know business with prosper for you and your associates. Tips hat in the direction of LeonaHelmsley and smiles |
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| Reply by: Sylence at Oct 02, '07 19:54 | |
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DEAR Crewleaders. Kindly inform your thugs to stop practicing their guns in my direction. I just came back from the Bahamas in a delightful mood, and somehow am willing to forgive (but never forget). The BANK IS NOW OPEN. |
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| Reply by: LeonaHelmsley at Oct 08, '07 14:51 | |
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| bump | |
| Reply by: LeonaHelmsley at Oct 14, '07 19:45 | |
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| For those who might have missed this the first time. | |
| Reply by: LeonaHelmsley at Oct 29, '07 11:01 | |
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| you've stated the amounts you charge for lending money, what about the ineterest we wopuld receive for paying in money and having an account in the black (not red) | |
| Reply by: Carlitos-Way at Nov 06, '07 17:50 | |
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I am here to make money at your expense. Not to help you make more :D |
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| Reply by: LeonaHelmsley at Dec 06, '07 00:04 | |
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I have heard that many of you are in dire financial need. I am here to solve that. |
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| Reply by: LeonaHelmsley at Jan 10, '08 11:37 | |
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I heard that you slept with God and have a bastard child with him. Instead of spending the millions he pays you in child support on the youngster, you have set up a loan agency. And whilst your baby sits in its own shit and go's hungry, you are off killing people who dont pay up. Is this true? May I nominate you for Mother of the Year? |
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| Reply by: DanK at Jan 14, '08 16:47 | |
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I thought you died... Shame Smirks |
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| Reply by: Teruzzo at Jan 14, '08 16:49 | |
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