Mokus had been extremely busy over the fall, as one knows that is the busiest season for any squirrel, a ground based one, a tree based one or wherever the nuts would take them! But he had been extra laborious for a good reason, he had to make sure he had a supply that would last him more than just 1 winter this time. He had seen some kids having fun, blowing up things with tiny explosives, whether it was corncobs or berries or potatoes, they all went poof with a lot of splatter and mush. Mokus had elated in seeing that happen over the summer and was very determined to find a way to make such a spectacle competitive.

At last the day had come, he had filled many a dozen hollow trees to the brim with nuts, acorns, hazelnut, chestnuts and whatnot! Too much for him to eat over the next 2 winters, so he knew he could blow a lot of it to nutty shards and smithereens!! He drew up the competition rules, hired a less than fully corrupt construction company to build a blast proof arena and hired the best explosives team his nut empire could afford!

Dear citizens of this fair country,

I'm hosting a competition where competitive spirit, the love for nuts and explosions culminate into this extravaganza of fun, endurance and competitive cunning. There is a big arena erected, filled with many bomb shelters that are pretty well protected except from a head-on strike. In this arena I welcome on a first come, first served basis a total of 20 individual fighters, who will be paired, or alternatively 10 already established pairs to fight for the grand prize.

The rules are simple, ensure the support of a wealthy patron, use your strategic cunning, hunker down and hope lady luck smiles upon you. Make sure you sign up as soon as you wish to enter, whether together with a mate or just on your merry own self. 

The sign-up fee is 5 credits per pair, so individually you'll need to pay 2.5 credits if you sign up alone.

Further detailed descriptions? Please read this pamflet, I made enough copies for everyone:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1w8VNmYJXubi4uvuRzzZKBE-vo2in3YZZr0yepz7-Ibo/edit?usp=sharing

For questions, please speak up here or drop me a message and I shall answer them as quick as I can.

Depending on the number and speed of signups, I shall communicate a competition starting date in a fortnight.

Dynamite walks up to Mokus and reads all the details about the upcoming compeition. He nods his head and excitedly pulls out 5 credits from his wallet to sign up as a lone wolf. 

Hans was curious about this announcement and being he was a full nutjob, he threw his fiver to the GodNutter in charge. "I would like to sign up please. It's been a long while since there was a big street competition. I look forward to seeing who will join me. Now, If you will excuse me, I need to get back to the basement to polish my Christmas nuts whist thinking of a comp nickname". 

Sonny made his way up to Godfather Mokus and put the required credits to enter on the table.

Nutty as it may sound, Tommy_Vitale and i would like to enter as a team. Our team nick is The motor mobsters.

As he puffed on a cigar and waited for his winnings from a recent gambling event StripheGotti heard the announcement by Godfather Mokus. He smiled at the idea and was always pleased when there was some fun events and something other than killing and drugs to remind them of the world outside of crime occasionally 

I bet there will be some huge prizes and bagging rights around these streets for those who do participate. I mean everyone wants to be a badass, but few ever get the chance!

StripheGotti opened up his checkbook and did some calculations before nodding his head silently while listening to his friend finish his announcement to the masses 

Dynamite stepped back to a nearby wall and lit a cigar. As he smoked, he looked around and saw a few of his friends who would also be competing. He didn't know everyone but he went and wished Sonny_Trabotti and MeyerLansky good luck in the competition. 

Daisy stands behind the crowd, to short to see much, listening to the rules and wondering who she will pick to work with her. 

She looks over and there stands yes_please_daddy , she looks to him as if he will already know what she is thinking, with a big smile, Daisy yells out "it's you, its always been you" a few people in the crowd giggle, after all, what is wrong with this woman.. 

She walks closer to her friend, "well, looks like we are in this together buddy." He just smiles and nods.

The announcements come to an end and everyone is clapping and cheering for Mokus, these people cant wait to show each other up, Daisy is so excited to see how things are going to unfold..

She skips away, humming a pretty tune.. 

The Number One Daddy Pleaser Yes Please Daddy felt a tremendous sense of joy to join such a marvelous team led by the incomparable Daisy Montana. A true leader of men Daisy had all the makings of a fantastic sweaty tall man, the thing you respected most in a person. After waiting in suspense for what felt like an eternity Daisy Montana had chosen Yes Please Daddy to be their team mate. Granted Yes Please Daddy had no idea what they had been selected for, that felt immaterial. Knowing they were teamed with Daisy gave Yes Please Daddy great confidence in their chances for success.

Thank You Daisy for this opportunity to learn from your genius.

Mokus was thrilled, all these new people stepping up and announcing their candidacy with such posturing and flexing!! He felt the extra nut per day for the best shit talker was gonna be as hotly contested as the final victory for the entire competiiton.

As he looked over the roster, yes yes, almost done. Soon he'd have all slots filled, only 2 left!! He sent a note to gary so he could familiarize himself with the names and the nicknames of the fighters and their patrons.

Soon this contest will start, there is a 48 period left for the last 2 individuals or pairs to step forward. By then the sign ups will be ended, the arena will be prepared and perhaps some patrons will step forward and all teams are all geared up and ready to go by Friday evening???

he smiled, snacked on an Acorn and went back to frolicking with his beloved nuts​​

Mokus came out to the announcement board on which a few flyers were left, perhaps people forgot to send him a letter or a note. BUUUTTT a deadline is a deadline and it wouldn't be fair to the other competitors to extend it again. So by now the roster for the Exploding Nuts competition was closed. Only friendly people in wish to patron an existing team or challenger without a patron could still step forward and convince the pair or contestant to accept their patronage going forward.

Mokus looked at the roster quickly, ah yess HansKieslowski, Heston, Dynamite, Tommy_Vitale, Sonny_Trabotti, SilentAssassin, sinslikeskeletons, StripheGotti, Cadhla, Craven, Sven, MissDaisy, Yes_Please_Daddy and last but not least Englander would be battling to be the Nut Champion soon.

Mokus sent a messenger boy to Gary to start writing up a dramatic announcement of the competition and go over the roster to introduce each contestant and their team in more (dramatic) detail and gives us some foreshadowing of who he think are the public favorites and which are the underdogs in this competition.

Mokus left the announcement board to oversee the arena preparations and logistics in order to run the competition. Upon inspections and confirming with Gary when he was ready to go, a starting time for the competition will be announced shortly

Stay tuned!!

I don't have a fucking clue what this is about.  Can someone explain it to me like I'm a fucking five year old?