Big Sam swaggered into the local square. A rotund giant, he stood statuesque as he surveyed his surroundings. The air was crisp this time of year and Sam enjoyed it's bracing refreshment. Invigorated by it, his senses were heightened and he felt shivers all over his magnificent body. Sam noticed a classy looking lady strolling past. Fine clothes and a confident gate always gave a woman that air of refined savvy that set Sam's pulse racing.

It had been quite a day. Rich with unexpected excitement and Sam decided it may be an opportune time to introduce himself and address a question that he'd been unable to answer.

Hello all.

Sam smiled as a young woman showed him a shining eye filled with guilty pleasure.

I know. Its ok. I'm just a man. You can be near me.

Placing a reassuring hand on the quivering woman's shoulder, Sam looked over the faces of the understandably awestruck crowd.

I am, Big Sam. And I came here to enrich all your lives. My aim in this was all mapped out. A slow burning master plan that would leave all incapable of anything other than devoted drooling servitude. However an incident this morning has thrown all that for a giant loop and forced my majestic hand into a premature circular pleasuring of social dialog.

See, this morning Big Sam was strolling down one of New York's beautiful streets, enjoying the fresh new day and helping a few of the fine people that comprise my city's wonderful population. A smile on my face and a laugh with a songbird in a tree. Yes Big Sam was having a day so good that fucking cartoons would struggle to top it. Then, just as a chorus of blue birds were about to land on my shoulder, I felt a sickening thud and I went down hard.

Big Sam is a big man. I hit the ground and it knew it had been hit. Shit that hurt. I sat up and sent a searching hand across my broad back only to find a small hole in my finest grey suit. I was as relieved as I was outraged. I pressed a handkerchief against my wounded side and got to my feet. As I turned I saw my would-be assassin standing, a smoking 38 in his shaking hand before me.

I'll level with you, I was shocked. So shocked in fact that my only response was to put a hand on his feeble shoulder and talk to the guy. Eventually I took his name and that of his family, wished him good luck and sent him on his way.

Sam looked around and noted the raised eyebrows.

See, Big Sam is a lover. A great hulking powerful lover. I haven't been in the service of my family more than a day or two and some amateur-hour chip-monk is taking a shot at me. Why? I haven't said more than a few private words to anyone. Certainly not started swinging my considerable weight around, yet.

What possesses someone to do this? This crazy cat claimed he was trying to pick my pocket but as far as my limited understanding of that profession goes, its not commonly attempted by firing a gun at the target from twenty paces. He didn't seem like he wanted to die or that he even particularly wanted me dead. As he strolled off he spoke in resignation of his fate and it left me wondering why? Why throw his life's work away over something so fleeting and meaningless?

Has this happened to any of you? Anyone able to shed any light on what makes a person do this? I tell you, Big Sam's at a loss to explain it.

Shaking his head in mock resignation, Sam's attention turned to a young, fine-figured lady sitting nearby. He sidled over and slid gracefully into a seat beside her grateful smile. Sam had incredible poise and moved with an almost feline effortlessness belying his considerable frame. He winked, she trembled and he waited to see what people had to say.

Did he sound sincere? If so, well, we are all human and we make mistakes. Some leaders will punish such mistakes with death and it's understandable.

The closes my bloodline has ever been to such a mistake was to shoot a bodyguard while intending to pickpocket. You see, my ancestor was looking at the protection level to see if he could reach into the pocket successfully and thinking so much about his bodyguards, a round went off and killed one of his bodyguards. Luckily I was able to sort it out by hiring another bodyguard for him and a bit more money for the troubles caused.

So I can certainly believe it was an honest mistake.

On the other hand, we do have people that get bored with this lifestyle and incur in random acts of violence to see if they find what they are missing in life.

The person in question that fired their weapon on accident is a well traveled blood line. So well traveled in fact one of his more famous ancestors was a Godfather.

Now often people speak of how bad actions from a person should never carry forward to their sons etc, so too must we also put such good actions to one side and look at things from the perspective of only this person and not of his blood line. The mistake he made was critical, had he been a more skilled marksman he would have took Big Sam's head off, and while not a fan of Sam's ability to manager a soccer team, he doesn't really deserve such an attack to my knowledge.

I would have loved to see the man receive some form of different punishment, but in our way of life an error like this will almost always be punished with death. He knew this himself, he was open and honest about his mistake as soon as it happened and awaited his fate peacefully.

To answer Abel's question; I believe it was an honest mistake and one he paid for with his life, for someone like myself who is from a family of skilled pickpockets, its hard to comprehend how such a mistake can occur, but as Abel himself points out it has happened to others before and likely will happen again.

i remember my great grandad being let off the hook for the killing of a sponsored goomba once...well i say let off...5 million to the victims CL as well as half a mill to the victims son.

the moral of this = money talks

Sam listens and then looks over at Fozzy.

I must stress I had and still have no idea what line the man may have come from. Whether that be the most insignificant or most famous bloodline in history, makes no odds to me. I bare no ill will. When we finished our conversation and parted ways we both knew he'd probably be killed for what he had done. I wished him good luck and said I'd have a smile for his next of kin should he come and say hello.

As I said, Big Sam is a lover. I'm happy enough to accept the explanation but in my bloodline's considerable experience, such 'mistakes' are almost never mistakes. So, on the one in ten thousand chance that is a genuine mistake, the individual has to accept the inevitable consequences.

Marston's Pickpocketing Guidebook!

Follow these steps to ensure that your pickpocketing escapades don't result in catastrophe!

1. Ensure that all personal weapons are holstered!
2. Choose a victim within your pickpocketing capability
3. Double check that all firearms are placed away..
4. Silently stalk your intended victim until you are within an arm's distance
5. Hold out your hands in front of you, ensure there are no deadly weapons in them..
6. Identify the pocket containing the victim's wallet or purse
7. Identify your own holster, ensure that your pistol is definitely still there
8. With a gentle, but quick and flowing motion, remove the wallet or purse from the victims pocket
9. Do not shoot the victim!!
10. Flee the area with haste, but remaining unnoticed..

Thank you for reading my guide, I hope this will help to build a safer tomorrow!