Many of you may have noticed that recently Grin has been very mean to me and on at least two occasions he hurt my feelings deeply. So deeply, in fact, that I decided, fuck Grin. So what am I going to do about it?

Nothing less than you would expect from your Mafia Hero. We are going to torment him. I will pay the sum of $100,000 for every MISSED shot on Grin! Why missed shots, you ask? Simple. If I simply wanted him dead, I would just shoot him myself. No way man. That's amateur shit. I want him dead, yes, and so do you, but before his death I want him to be living in constant fear of the next hapless hitman to tweak his nose. I invite other investors to contribute to this cause, since I am actually quite poor and always prefer to pay with other people's money.

A little disclaimer here: I am aware that there is currently in place a Protection Order for the survivors of the Raven mafia Massacre. The fat little hobbit happens to be one of the survivors. Do not worry about consequences or repercussions for violating this protection order. Nobody cares about Grin.

The beatings will continue until Grin makes a public apology and declares that I am the prettiest of all.

Is the money available for non-entrants?

Very good question, Street_Leader. At the moment I am seeking investors to assist in the funding of this project. I would like to think that there is at least one philanthropist out there who would like to dedicate their entire gift for the benefit of non-entrants. 

Rest assured that I am not the sort of person to discriminate against non-entrants. I come from a long line of them. It's not right and some traditions need to be maintained. As soon as the generous benefactor steps forward, I will entertain rewards to non-entrants. For the purpose of this project, a non-entrant is someone who does not want to shoot Grin. Not just someone who refrains. It has to be a conscientious objector.

OK, I proactively didn't participate, thus qualifying for a non-entrant prize.

I waited for a while and decided to take part, so I am both a double and a non-entrant.

Now that the forces of freedom have defeated the evil Chicago juggernaut, it's time to get back to what is important. Thus far there has not been a single person to claim an award, other than Street_Leader, for his confusing entrant/non-entrant participation status. 

I honestly don't know what to say. I thought people would jump at the opportunity to shoot Grin. And to get paid for it? Pffft.

We can do better, people. We must do better.

So WhyIsTheToaster, how about we use the fees um due towards giving Tommy_Vitale $80m to get the Gazette up and going again?

I would like to be one of those contributing writers and I would like to begin with an interview of you, Tommy_Vitale. My biggest question is, "Did you use the occupation of being a journalist as merely a stepping stone to becoming the LHM for Jelly-Viterelli? Was that your plan all along, or was your heart really into serving the journalistic profession?"

People are still complaining about the lack of a MR Gazette and these are the things they are demanding to know.

OK, now we're getting somewhere.

Could we have a sitdown as an interview?

Whoah whoah whoah there...  Let's cool off a bit.

WhyIsTheToaster, could you please send Tommy_Vitale 8m and we'll get this sit-down/interview started?

Tommy_Vitale, can you loan me $8 million?

WhyIsTheToaster, I'll loan u 8 mill in cold hard bennies, if u loan me 8 mill.

I have 8 million dollars burning a hole in my pocket for the first person to send Street_Leader 8 million dollars to send Tommy_Vitale on behalf of WhyIsTheToaster. 

Wait what? Whats the hole point of this? Scratches his head

Hello, IDC. The hole was put in Grin's head, so there is no longer a point to this. Some savage decided to, simultaneously, end this fun activity and also end Grin's pitiful existence before he could even declare me to be the prettiest of all.

We mustn't grow cold to the bloodshed. Even if it's just Grin.