THE BURGERHOUSE FILES, BROADCAST #2: 30 TO 60 DAYS. SUBHEADING: IS THERE EVIDENCE OF A PURGE TIMELINE AT WORK?

There has been a lot of talk lately about the longevity of gangsters in this thing of ours. Some say there are certain thresholds that, when crossed, submit your name to a list of those to be murdered. Purged, so to speak. 30 days in the business, 60 days in the business, the exact number is unclear. But what people need to see is evidence. And evidence often comes in the form of a paper trail. Receipts. Documents. 

With that being said, allow me to wade into the discussion. Sometimes it takes an outsider to come in and tell you how the wind is blowing. And believe me, I’ve got experience with the way the wind blows.

You see, I like to work from my home office, which is situated just down the reclaimed rustic hallway from the kitchen where our live-in maid cooks our meals. In that office, I’ve got a great big palladian window. And sometimes, when smells from the kitchen become too overpowering, I like to open that window. And occasionally when I do, a great gust comes through the room, and blows all of my documents out of the window. Suddenly, where all my documents had previously been neatly arranged inside, I find that all my documents are outside. The thing about documents is they are an inside material, though the irony of paper coming from trees is not lost on me. And so I find that I’ve got a big problem on my hands.

As you can imagine, when you have a lot of documents, it makes a lot of sense to organize them in a way that would keep them both safe and easy to access. That’s why I like to organize the documents in my office in binders and folders. In order to do so, however, there is a brief period where documents are loose or scattered around my workspace, during the process in which I am figuring out where they belong within my organizational method. And if that window opens and all of my documents go flying out of the window, the process becomes much more complicated. Some of my documents are receipts and invoices and old letters of reference that I wouldn’t strictly need in any urgent timeline. But the truth is you rarely know when you’re going to need something until you do.

So when your documents go flying out of the window, you might find yourself wondering, ‘Which of those will I need and which of those could I live without?’

Sadly, there is no way to inventory a set of documents that have flown out of the window. That's one of the biggest problems of that happening, especially because the primary reason documents in my home office would be loose and not organized within folders and binders would be because they were in the early stages of the inventory and organization process. And while many documents can likely be replaced, having to do so undermines why I saved all those documents in the first place. A document you might find unimportant today could end up being quite the contrary tomorrow, especially if you need it for proof of a systematic purge happening.

I would expect to have any document I need available at my fingertips, on account of the diligence of my detailed filing system that I've so tediously kept organized. But what good is a system that can be ruined by a gust of wind? It’s difficult to remind yourself not to open the palladian windows in your office without fastening your documents under various paperweights or tucked safely into binders and folders. Otherwise, you might find your documents all over the wet grass and blowing into the woods and torn apart by animals. But you can restart your document collection with a document about that. And what does that say about life? A lot.

I've been Buck Burgerhouse and thank you for listening.

BuckBurgerhouse - I sent you and Brent a VERY important business proposal earlier today, and I haven't heard a thing back.  

Is that good business sense?  

Street_Leader, thank you for reaching out to Buck Burgerhouse. My colleagues and I will sit down and discuss your proposal at their soonest availability. A generous tip may sway the discussion one way or the other. In the mean time, I am proceeding with the regularly scheduled programming of The Burgerhouse Files re: one of the most important topics of our day and possibly lifetime. 

I've put $40m your way, BuckBurgerhouse.  Not bad, eh?

Now, to business.  Could you please confirm you'll pivot the marketing materials to the upper structures? 

I've listened to this speech as a Gangster with 17 hard days behind me without a concern in the world. I expect that to continue long into the future. I've done literally nothing for this crew except take a rancid turd in Tommy's funeral and I've earned them $0. You might think that 17 days in the business with $0 in earnings a public defecation would put a target on my back, but you would be wrong. 0, like 30 and 60, is actually an important number. For example, we've had 0 newspapers by Tommy_Vitale because he's dead. This spared us having to toil through any of prospective journalist WhyIsTheToaster's inane ramblings - "You're all stupid", "I've got two degrees", shutup, and thus 0 served a purpose. 0 should be respected. Is 1 too many dumps to take in a funeral? 0 would probably be better. Put a 3 or a 6 in front of a 0 and nothing changes. Brent's still a gay stripper. Tommy's still mush. Clearly, the parallels between your windswept office and the purging of mobsters 30 or 60 days in the business is well drawn. I'd tip you, BuckBurgerh0use but $0 made, you know how it is. 0. Zero. 0, 0, 0, 0.

0.

I have three degrees, dickhead.

Two degrees, three degrees, they're just documents flying in the wind. BrotherWinston doesn't need an education to poo at funerals. It's a pastime but not a noble one. Will it keep him alive? Who can say. It seems like LeoMaranzano has tolerated it so far. It shows a broader perspective. A gentler style of leadership. I respect it. The discussion of the day is how intolerant of general existence the leadership is. Does this prove otherwise? As long as BrotherWinston stays alive, certainly. 

Street_Leader, thank you. I appreciate your generosity. You've given me 40 million reasons to bring your request to my boss. I wouldn't mind more, but it's a good start. 

This is an interesting topic Buck, it seems like that is something you are good at. As somebody from the outside looking in that does not know if there is any trust to this or not it is interesting that many people who die with "No WS Needed" as the comment made from their Leader appear to fit within that time criteria specified.

Is this just a coincidence though given that if a leader is killing or allowing the death of their own members it must be due to lack of trust, if that is the case how long does that lack of trust lasts before somebody becomes an actual danger? Perhaps it's not a truth but the way the dominos fall? Do you see it that way Mr Buck?

There is a way to see it, Dreams, and certainly many other ways as well. I couldn't begin to count them all. That's the beauty of perspective. But this investigation is about facts. Are people being purged within a very specific timeline of them operating as a gangster for the crews they work for? What are the reasons for being purged? Is there any way to avoid being purged?

In order to determine this, I set out to recover a series of documents that could shed light on whether it's true or not. I found one in a tree, which I had to climb with my bare hands, only stopping to slurp up an egg I found in a nest on the way up. I found another torn to shreds while picking through the leavings of a feral hog that lives in the woods behind my house. A third document landed on my roof, and I stood holding the base of a ladder while my live-in maid clambered up and retrieved it. It's very important to keep your documents organized safely at home, Dreams, where they are dry and legible, and not blown out into the woods or onto your roof where all manner of creature and weather can distort them beyond comprehension. 

What's your opinion on that?

As I stopped to listen to this lengthy speech, I was fully anticipating it to be about burgers. I now find myself very sad and disappointed. I am also now extremely hungry as the thought of the burgers was festering in my brain and creating something of an appetite. 

Give the people what they want, BURGERS! 

Hunter, perhaps if I were a great big fat man with no brain and a face like a slapped ass, I could empathize with where you're coming from. However, I am an indomitable and daring investigative reporter and hamburger sandwiches do not concern me like the truth does. I am doing important work here. Please be respectful. 

This is very true Buck, I have seemed to lose all of my documents, perhaps if I had kept them at home in a safe space I would not have and I do not have the willpower like a man of your stature does to go climbing into trees looking at them. It seems to be an unknown at this point to whether or not there is any weight into these purging claims.

I can only imagine though that if there is any man that can crack the case and find out the truths to this mysterious world we live in, it is indeed BuckBurgerhouse. I look forward to the next episodes and will continue to tune in.