Welcome one and all. I intend to do my best to entertain the masses on a weekly basis going forward. Check back here for an ongoing show I’m calling, “Kid’ing Around With Summer”. For our first entry, I am a bit delayed. I had intended to give this performance during the holidays but as the holidays go, things don’t always work out how we intended. 

Today we talk about unwanted Cousin affection. Everyone gathers for the holidays and often you will see people you haven’t seen since last holidays ...or in some cases longer, sometimes not long enough. 

In those meetings you may come across certain scenarios you are unfamiliar with and wonder, “Is my cousin flirting with me?”. I’ve got your back and have the top signs of the seasons you need to know!

1) Your cousin offers you the last piece of pie – a true act of forbidden passion.

2) Your cousin refers to you as their “Favorite cousin”. 

3) Your cousin asks you to do anything “Just the two of us”. 

Don’t worry Mobsters, I’m not leaving you there hanging on the cliff with nowhere to go. I’ve got solutions for each of these problems and ways for you to escape that pesky flirty cousin!

1a) Tell your cousin you can’t eat that kind of pie because of an Adult Onset Allergy you’ve recently discovered. Just make sure later in the day you eat a piece of that pie right in front of them. 

2a) While in front of the cousin in question, comment to another cousin, “No cousin favorites! You know the rules.”

3a) Propose a group game, perhaps charades and ensure your first clue is “This isn’t Alabama.”

If none of these options work you can pull out plan B. The final and ultimate get away from your cousin strategy…use with caution.

Plan B) Announce loudly to the entire family, “Do you ever notice how [cousin name] is always flirting during holidays?

Now just sit back and enjoy he chaos. 

Kid’ing Around With Summer Part 2

Today I would like to talk about something dear to my heart, addiction. Now it can come in many forms but what we are most used to in this life of ours is; Alcohol, Gambling, Drugs, Money, Sex, Tobacco, Cars, and Guns. I apologize if I missed any, I’m just speaking about what I’m familiar with. I’m not going to use any names in order to protect the innocent goats, just know everything I’m about to say is real and true.

Summer whispers, “Based on true stories, all characters are fictional and do not represent any real person past or present.”

We all know there is but one true Goat and his name is Keith. I hesitate to even say it as we all know it as certain as the air we breathe. 

Today's story is about one person's journey through sin to finding Keith. We will call this man Austin Robo. Again, we are using a fake identity in order to protect the very real person that this absolutely true and unequivocally real story is about. 

Summer whispers, “Again, this is completely fictional. No characters represent anyone past or present”

Austin Robo was a young man, up and coming. He lived in filth, disgust, and rot but after a shower was somewhat presentable. He boozed, he whored, he boozed, he snored, he boozed some more. He didn’t have any friends except for the bottom of bottles and everyone around him was paid to be there in one way or the other. He was a classic case of going nowhere fast until chance paid a visit and he was introduced to Keith by a beautiful woman named Semmur. She was perfect in all ways and pulled this nothing out of the gutter and showed him Keith…

Now Austin Robo is a respectable man in all things. All thanks to Semmur.