Ladies and gents, we've all heard the gossip. There are some things I need to address to clear my good name. 

First of all, I did NOT kill PhilFlack's CA. This was a vicious rumor leaked from an airtight investigation, which ultimately concluded with my innocence. They didn't find exactly WHO killed PhilFlack's CA but the last update I received from my sources indicated the likes of Monella, Lucy and Tutte were still under heavy scrutiny. Importantly, my name has been cleared, and that CA I killed is behind us now. 

Secondly, I wanted to nip this in the bud: I am NOT cursed to bring about the grisly death of all of my associates. I've heard what people have been saying and it's simply not true. In fact, it couldn't be any further from the truth. BillCorsica is thriving. He'll run this town some day. Could a dead man do that? 

I can concede that ManScrapper, BrotherDominic and SIoTEnjoyer met exceedingly violent ends. Does that imply the existence of some sort of vengeful hex placed upon my person? I couldn't definitively rule it out. But no. There is no such thing as The Burgerhouse Effect. I'm just as good of a vampire as the rest of the Brent gang, and I can do the Arianna cat-thing as good as anyone. Meow. Hiss. Vampire fangs. 

This gives me no reason to believe there is anything wrong with me, and certainly nothing about my behavior worth examining or changing, but all to do with my associates accidentally killing themselves in suspicious ways. It's a shame but it happens. People die, associates especially, and my associates more than others. So what?

RIP to them and RIP SixPoundSoulCals, who was shoes. 

That's great work, BillCorsica. Your rise and grind mindset is an inspiration to us all. At this rate, it won't be long before you're the sponsor and I'm the associate. Ha ha ha. Try not to die, champ. 

There's no need to apologize, Billy C. We remember our fallen associates by living good, long lives, which is something I want for you, more than anything. BrotherDominic loved the horses. He was a simple boy. I'm going to send you $2,000 to place a bet in his memory. Just make sure the horse isn't named something inappropriate, like "BrotherDom's Dumb Corpse", because I know they like to name horses all kinds of crazy things nowadays.