Machete is a fucked up person. They walk around the streets picking a few pockets, doing petty crimes. They don't talk too much now, their parents had a lot of fun though, at some point, they were kinda famous, hanging with the cool kids, shooting important people, talking shit and sniffing cocaine out of hookers assholes. Yes.

But tonight, Machete felt the need to share a little story they heard. A very interesting story, a special story. About a lamb who had education.

The Educated Lamb

Once upon a time, there was a little baby lamb. Her father, the Lamb Sr, called her a princess lamb, because she was so tiny, beautiful and because she was his first offspring. Mother lamb was also proud of her princess lamb and they were so overprotective because the world outside of the fence was rotten and full of dangerous wolves. So every step the princess took, they screamed in fear and made her come back. The little lamb was breastfed til she was a teenage lamb. She was prevented to walk around alone, even to poop the little princess poopies, because it was dangerous to be alone. Thats when the princess lamb met some little lambs the same age as hers and started walking around far away from her parents everyday. Every new day, when they were too busy eating, she ran off with her friends. One beauytiful sunny day she reached the fence. There was a creature at the other side, but the creature was smiling and saying nice stuff like "i'm not a monster. lets have some ice cream! arent you tired of eating grass and not having ice cream?" and the creature was indeed friendly and nice. But the princess lamb was smart. So she said:

"Give me ice cream, through the fence. I dont have to cross it!" And the wolf smirked and said, "of course, i just want to make you happy" and he gave her the ice cream.. 

So everyday the little lamb escaped from her parents and went there for ice cream. The wolf was always there, waiting for her.

In a rainy day, the princess went there and the wolf wasnt. She waited for hours and he didnt appear. Next day it was sunny, but the same thing happened. And the next day. And the next. Until she was craving ice cream so much, she decided to jump the fence and go after him.

She arrived at a small cave, it was very messy, there were red stains everywhere, a lot of ice cream around. She asked "where were you? i was waiting for my ice cream"

the wolf said: "yes, about that.. ice cream is hard to get these days. Its winter. If you want some ice cream you have to do some stuff for me." The princess looked at him, disgusted, and looked around staring at all the ice cream, so much she could eat only ice cream forever. So she said "ok."

A few days, or weeks, or months later, she was found wandering a neighborhood farm, being dragged by other princessess lambs, who were also addicted to ice cream. But they were trying to help her get home. Sir and Lady lamb were pissed off but they didnt really knew what happened ultil the lamb was at a very old age, and not a princess a anymore.

Father lamb first reaction was to say:

"We gave you education, you're an educated lamb."

lady lamb's reaction was:

"We are gonna kill the wolf.

The End

I hope you all enjoyed this story.