ElectricPanda was slumped on the roadside, snuggled up, eyes closed with a gentle snooze drifting from it's soft, precious lips. What a cute panda bear...

Haha, just kidding. That's not cute and it ain't a fucking bear, goofy.

A sudden squeak escapes the pandas rear end, pulsing lightning down the streets and through... Never mind, through nothing, 'cause it's near barren save for the recent business the fat Grinning chap has managed to drum up. Elli chuckles to itself. If vampires, why not electric pandas? Why not. 

This panda wasn't here to request citizenship though, 'cause this panda didn't need citizenship. This was a fucking known associate of the Chicago mafia - and them sorta jobs weren't just handed out to anyone, y'know... No.

Maintaining the incredible smile, the panda begins to speak.

"Good day, fellow..." Pause. Shifting eyes. Continuing with a whisper, "...fellow mobsters." The panda's brow rocking up and down as it chortles before settling back down. Smiling.

"Have you heard the news? You see, this new life is incredibly exciting." The panda beckons you in closer with their paw. "Ever since that unusual lady approached me suddenly in The Loop, the shadows have been delivering me all sorts of gifts and messages, it's really quite spooky!"

The panda takes in a sharp breath...

"Yet, I cannot help but take it all in, you know? The power is just... it's consuming me. I feel my growth. You know, the gangsters won't even look at me now..." The pandas bright face suddenly darkens. "We were friends just days ago!" The panda roars before clearing it's throat.

"Excuse me. I apologise. I fear the more I lean into this life, the less control I have... There is an evil growing within me. I dread what one must become for the lofty heights of Godfather, what corruption lies within their soul..." The panda smacks its paw over its lips. "Let's not speak of that. Not here. I say too much. Let's move on. The Godfathers are great. All three of them." Panda forces the tension from its chest and out through its breath.

"But... That has me wondering. See, I've heard rumours there are armed gunmen across the country currently on retainer, should they see a specific Las Vegan or two... They say the name..." Panda whispers. "Durden is coming." 

"I'm sure you know what I mean..."

"And if you don't, you better fuck off now, capiche?" Panda winks.

"So I wonder... What the ultimate price might be for someone to do such a thing? Murder. You know... One of the big guys. Durden's a cheap bastard, but anyone with their skin in this game might cost a pretty penny for a big guy, y'know?""

The panda scratches its chin. "I'd definitely do it for a billion. One billion straight in your pocket. Bang. Easy."

Panda enjoys a little sigh. "The things I could do with a billion! I couldn't get that big... I'm sick of this fucking existence. I'm sick of shitting myself to be honest... It's a thing I was born with... Anyway - what a miserable fucking existence, take it from me... Excuse me while I comfort my ring of fire a moment..." The panda wiggles with a chuckle.

"Thank you. Anyway... I was just thinking about that time someone offered that huge kill contract - all those dodgy quads and credit notes, I'm sure I read something... Somewhere."

"Me though, I'm stuck on dollars can't afford a fucking FBN , are you nuts? This earner can dream. I've heard of people having dozens of them fuckers around! Imagine! How the 1% must live..."

"Anyway, back to the matter at hand... I'm getting hungry."

"Of course one should never consider turning their gun on their boss, that would go against so many things! That would be almost as bad as a boss turning their gun on their members... Those who trust and fund them for weeks, days, months... Perhaps even years with some lineages. Before ultimately reaching the wrong end of the smile comes carrying a big stick... or a gun if you're one of them weird bald motherfuckers. That reminds me..."

"That reminds me... Don't forget to take precautions against your own family, consider your loyalty when suiting up if you ever feel vulnerable throughout your existence. I've lived my entire life afraid of my own shadow. I feel them coming closer now."

"But for you, my friend. Before this walking dead man goes to meet his fate, you must heed my words. There comes a time when you must think beyond the loyalties sworn in this life or those that came before... Consider the rest of your lineage for the rest of the future. Generational wealth is hard to come by, but we are really seeing just how much you can buy around here. And everything in this world has a value. A cost. That includes you. Every single one of us is worth an amount to everyone else around us. At all times. It's just a case of who goes first."

"You can buy a life. Any life. With the right offer. Maybe not just money."

"You can save a life too. Perhaps by taking a life, you could even buy freedom when the next administration takes their seat at the table. Who knows... Maybe you could be the next spacepole. Yeah... That cock made it into legend. Fucking shame, but every village has got one, eh lads?"

"How many lineages who have been party to the sins of this recent history have their own wealth to sustain the future that is in store for them when the chess board is reset and suddenly the other side have the luxury of playing the white pieces?

There comes a time in every good match where player one runs out of pawns and the table tips in blacks favour. If it doesn't work out, black plays for the draw, the board resets and they go again. 

Eventually, power changes hands. All empires end."

"But until that point, this panda was just thinking about the cost of getting to that point. Elli started investing in their character and then started to regret it. Because they realise from the people in their crew... This world is fucked. 

So I'd probably shoot someone for a packet of marbles at the moment, but I couldn't hit a barn door if it was kissing me on the nose...

But there's a lot of people around and there must be people out there with a chance at one of these big boys, for whatever reason suits them best. Personally, my line has always struggled with this sorta chess game, so maybe you just got a score to settle - who gives a fuck why? Let's talk about who and how much."

"I think it's time we came up with a new moneymaking opportunity. Sports books and loans are are so 1930s... This the 50s, baby!"

I'm not gonna pretend like I'm your uncle, but I am as much of a cunt as that guy is, so I fancy seeing what everyone's life is worth. Why not?

Who you tryna shoot? How much you want paying to do it? Will you hit? - I'll see if I can source the money to fund it. 

I'm not rich, let's be sensible and manage our expectations. I understand things like this are rare around here, but it's getting a bit fucking stale, init lads? Maybe we gotta get naked and run round the field for a few laps to remind us we got hair on our balls or something, yeah?

"Anyway... If nothing else, it'll be funny to hear what people are worth, eh? Maybe we can get something going, maybe not, who fucking knows? All discreet, won't tell no one who you are, won't share nothing without express permission. All first time enquiries are 100% confidential. On my Mum's life. I mean that one foreal." Panda pauses to cherish the thought.

"All targets are fair targets, fuck it... 1m to shoot some Gangster in your crew that's getting on your tits? I can sponsor you. Bigger target? Maybe I got some pals who are interested... We'll talk. If Panda ain't here... My spirit will find you. I've got a way. Trust me."

"So what you here for? A long time or a good time? How much would it cost for you to go out with a bang of glory? Anyone for a bit of Pandamonium?"

The panda slowly ascends on to all fours and waddles over to a nearby bin. It removes the lid and clumsily slams it against the side of the bin before dropping it into a spiral on the floor.

"Here's one."

The panda slides some notes out from somewhere you didn't manage to see... Fortunately.

"One... Two... Three... Four... Five 'credit notes' for anyone who kills someone who looks exactly like this..." 

You take a quick glance at the photograph before it's snapped from view.

"Make great haste. That one's worth 10, now! Easy pickings... Keep your eyes out for me."

The HansKieslowski crew does not currently have any work for you.

The Craven crew does not currently have any work for you.

The Joseph-Clemente crew does not currently have any work for you.

The Angelo_Barbieri crew does not currently have any work for you.

The StripheCorelli crew does not currently have any work for you.

The Sosa crew does not currently have any work for you.

The tiny panda frowns.

"The 10 cred notes on that one guy? ... Still counts."

"Why not?"