TheDonBot oiled up his fingers and stuck them in to a toaster - ZAP - enough energy for the day, and a pleasant aroma left behind for the folks back in the HQ. Mmm, burnt oil and bread! The day went along as normal as could be; TheDonBot attended an exclusive luncheon with some stockbrokers, coerced a Councilman in to altering one of his zoning laws to a more favourable one for The Robot Mafia, went to a combination cookout/comedy show and wrapped it up with a fine glass of brandy and a fat cigar. Yes, life was going splendidly for TheDonBot. Yet... TheDonBot craved more. The glass of brandy exploded in TheDonBot's hand as he came to the realization that he should dive into the profitable world of Media. It didn't take long at all before TheDonBot completed the Introductory Issue. Seemingly overnight, the paper had made its way on to the News Stands and in to the hands of the people.  

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Thursday, March 24th. RoboReport; Issue Nulla - Testing the Waters. 

We here at The Robot Mafia have noticed one undeniable fact; people love their Newspapers. As far as this robot can tell, they don't even have to be good Newspapers - often times complete drivel would be printed and still the people would flock to the Streets to get their hands on it much like a wild pack of seagulls mauling an unattended slice of pizza on the Pier. TheDonBot knows firsthand you see, there was an unfortunate incident last week at the docks involving...well, nevermind actually - that seagull had it coming is all we're currently willing to say on the topic!

TheDonBot writes this to you, the people, as a way to gather your opinions on whether or not you'd be amenable to a new form of Media; one run by Robots for money Robots The People. You see, The Robot Mafia have a lot of spare time on our hands(given that we only need to recharge but for a brief period each day) and we're pretty sure that you do too. What better way to start your week than with RoboReport, the one and only Newspaper written by a Robot?

This Introductory Issue is not indicative of our Weekly Issue; which will be released within the next few business days. It is, as the name suggest, an Introduction to what you can expect from us here at RoboReport. 

Interview with a CrewLeader
List of Notable Deaths
Business Of The Week
Business District State of Affairs
Q&A with TheDonBot
Debate Of The Week
Joke of The Week
Lotteries 

Is this something you feel like hearin' about secondhand down at the coffee shop? Hell no folks, this is a Newspaper you'll want to get your hands on for yourself! 

--> VOTE HERE <--

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lordVoldemort was new to the life of crime and had chosen a different route than most of the others, a peaceful quiet one. When he was handed a flyer asking if he would enjoy a new newspaper he was ecstatic, almost jumping for joy.

I believe this place has been missing something,  and I think you are barking up the right robotree. This place has had no legitimate news source for quite awhile. I for one would really enjoy something good to read while visiting the 12th street toilets.

LordVoldemort takes the poll, checking the answer yes, before dropping it in the box

I hope you have a much longer run than some of these others, and I will be looking forward to some great reads from the robot mafia

Definitely looking forward to reading more from your publication, TheDonBot! 

Could we have a section maybe called "shittest job"?  Basically just a paragraph or two about the shittest job members of the mafia have?