Do We Need Kuku Leading the Streets Again?

It's been what feels like decades since the Streets were led by Kuku.  Of course, that leadership absence means they aren't quite as busy, but is that necessarily a bad thing?  If we consider the Streets to be like the popular American singer Gene Pitney, and Kuku's leadership to be the excellent song Something's Got a Hold of My Heart, we can perhaps explore this more effectively.  Pitney was, so it was said, something of a dickhead.  Rude, arrogant, talented, handsome, a prodigious womaniser, and consumer of alcohol and drugs.  But Something's Got a Hold of My Heart is like Balzac said about love: poetry of the senses.  So, do we have to put up with the bad and the good?

We have a wide number of newspapers at the moment, which on the face of it is a good thing, but we have no writing competitions.  None.  Why not?  This needs discussed, if not fully investigated.  And, it has to be asked, why aren't any of the newspapers reporting on this thing not happening?  After all, it isn't just what's happening that's news, it's what isn't happening as well.

We've had a bit of purging (FatGrin), and the hilarious killing of FatherMacklePenny (always good for joyful, collective, celebratory laughter).  But we haven't had the robust "Something's Got a Hold of My Heart" leadership that Kuku/Pitney is so well known for.  Why not?

Doesn't anyone want the crown?  Being Leader of the Streets isn't like being a LHM, meaning, it isn't an automatic death sentence.  So why doesn't anyone claim the throne?

Onto more pressing matters, namely DarwinRoss.  Not including his leadership team, he has one crew member.  Who is this person?  I would be embarrassed to be that person too, so the anonymity you need/crave can be promised, but I'd like to report on what life is like inside that absolute idiot's crew.  What an embarrassment.  When I look at him, I think of that time FMP tried to extort something he really shouldn't have, in circumstances that are not becoming.  It's impossible to look at DarwinRoss and sing Something's Got a Hold of My Heart.  You just can't do it.  I'm not sure even Gene Pitney could do it.

StripheCorelli stepped over the body of Rooney as he passed by, giving it a little nudge with his boot to check if he was alive. There was an obvious bullet wound to the head with brain fragments scattered across the side of the gutter he noticed as the head rolled to the other side.

Striphe laughed a little bit to himself and shook his head as he kept walking down the street to grab some dinner and drinks 

Epiphany’s fair cheeks flush.
 

I’m so sorry, I hadn’t realized that Mr. Rooney had passed when I just spoke to him. 
 

She nods to Mr. StripheCorelli before hurting in along 

What's a boat without a captain? 

Rooney's passing is tragic, if only because his point rings true.

I run the best newspaper on the streets. Almost everyone thinks and says so. My status as #1 VIP also grants me the privilege of being able to speak for my fellow VIPs.

But do I want the burden of a crown?

No. 

I was not made to rule. I am far, far too wealthy, and therefore naturally beyond these things, perched somewhere high above from where I can wield the influence of my enormous fortune for my personal benefit, which often comes at the expense of the common man, who I despise. 

As such, I would like to head a committee. A Street Leadership Committee, tasked with the mandate of finding a new LOTS. Someone eloquent and brave and vital. 

If my secretary is listening, let's begin by crossing SimonTheSwanHunter's name out, to get a head start on the paperwork. Just remove him altogether from all of the documents please. Let's be thorough but efficient. Every second counts. It's a long name and I don't want to read it in my head every time I scan across it. 

In fact, start a new list. "People Who Won't Be The LOTS". First name: SimonTheSwanHunter. 

Why won't g0d give me loads of money?  I'd be entertaining with it

I, an upstanding citizen attempted to compliment Kuku's (quite gaudy) striped shirt, though I must admit the color choice is quite pleasing- and I was met with nothing but a "talk to the hand, cuz the face don't wanna hear it" middle school insult.

I am appalled, and while I was more than willing to put my immense champion jumping skill behind his (very long term) dream of being LoTS, someone other than a shill for the regime (until he's embarrassingly killed), who could truly lead us into the next chapter of flourishing dialog, I must now vote against him as a proper LoTS. I don't think he will speak for me, as he has made it impossible to speak to his constituency by means of running from a simple compliment.

A beggar once, a beggar forevermore.