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| The (Late) RoboReport Announcement 2 | Started by: LuncheonEpiphany on Apr 18, '25 18:02 |
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“I can’t remember a thing,” This is Epiphany’s first thought as she awakens, her head throbbing with a piercing headache. Her eyes had not opened yet, mostly due of her hangover but also out of fear of waking in an unfamiliar place. This fear is quickly extinguished upon the recognizable feel of her satin sheets and the smell of her own musk embedded into the fabric reassures her she made it home. She opens her eyes to see a man she did not know lying beside her in her bed. She groans and rolls over to face away from him, only to see another man she did not know lying on the other side of her. “Great”, Epiphany says to herself in her own aching head. “Put on the rotisserie once again, I presume.” She rolls her eyes and lets out a sigh. She desperately wanted to brush her teeth and rinse her mouth out, but she could barely lift her head from her duck-feathered pillow to do so. She sits up and reaches for her cigarettes. “Get out” she barks at the two strangers. Grudgingly, they comply and get dressed. “Good to see you again Epiphany” the one man says as he exits her bedroom. “Again?!?!” Epiphany moans and buries her head in her pillow. Her drinking had been getting out of control. She didn’t need a shrink to tell her why, to tell her that her drinking stemmed from her past traumas in Chicago, a wasteland of death and despair. Where friends could be made and lost within a matter of days. Her leaders would go into panics when one of our family would die, only to later assure us they knew about these preplanned deaths all along and these deaths were actually sanctioned by them. It was all very confusing, hard to separate truth from lie, leaving all of us in a constant state of fear and uncertainty. The in-fighting in the crew’s private lounge was ever present, with various members of Arianna’s own crew assaulting others with furniture, often resulting in more even more death and personal injury. But the final straw was when Arianna attempted to demote and kill yet another one of her many hands, Ranger. “Burgerhousing” they called it, yet another scornful mockery bestowed upon the cursed city. In the struggle that followed, Ranger killed Arianna before being killed himself, and the nightmare finally ended. Epiphany had since found solace in Shifty’s crew in New York as well as in a bottomless bottle of Chardonnay. “I know that I have to get this paper finished but I just can’t” she weeped. Her hangover made it difficult to think straight, and the thought of sitting down at her typewriter for a prolonged period of time with her bottom as sore as it was wasn’t appealing either. She sat down and typed another announcement letter. She could at least start a draft, or maybe just get some headlines typed up and work outwardly from there. She began to type and the headlines poured from her fingertips to the paper… SHANE_STETSON RETIRES NEW BONUS FEATURE: DRUG PRICES RADIO HOST FATHERMACKLEPENNY SLAIN OUTSIDE STATION: DEATH BLAMED ON LOW RATINGS She could do this. She knew she could. She had overcome hardships much greater than a hangover in her life, the most traumatic of course being her stint in the Chicago Death Cult. She poured herself a glass of coffee, as her former leader Arianna was fond of doing. She thought of her as she began to type. She typed long into the evening hours |
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After waiting for what seemed like days, Tom poked his head out from underneath the bed. The apartment was quiet. Everyone seemed to have left. Checking himself to make certain he was fully dressed, Tom crawled out from under the bed and moved towards the door, motioning with a wave towards the bedroom closet... "I think it's safe guys. Come on, let's go before she gets back". Tom leaves the room while Tim, Todd, Terry, Jeff (and his pet ferret, Frank) and Sarah run out from the closet and follow behind him... |
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| Reply by: TomJoad at Apr 23, '25 22:04 | |
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Rocco leaned against a lamppost, the collar of his trench coat pulled up against the damp night air. He scanned the headlines of the discarded newspaper: "RADIO HOST FATHERMACKLEPENNY SLAIN..." A low whistle escaped his lips. "Things are gettin' rougher than a gin joint brawl." He spotted a few figures slipping out of a nearby apartment building. One of them, a fella named Tom, gave a nervous wave. Rocco raised an eyebrow, a silent question hanging in the air. "Somethin' brewin'?" he muttered to himself, taking a drag from his cigarette. |
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| Reply by: RoccoMoretti at Apr 24, '25 00:35 | |
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LuncheonEpiphany, can we please have an update on when the first edition of the RoboReport will be coming out? I need to prepare my attacks on your competence and character. I'm afraid some of my cutting remarks, like referring to you as the next FatherMacklePenny, won't make sense in a few days when the last remnants of his memory are entirely forgotten by the general public. |
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| Reply by: QuackersFeatherbeak at Apr 24, '25 13:01 | |
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You have no say in other people's competence with a behavior like that cereal boy. Pipe down and keep releasing the duck's bill. I am running out of toilet paper. |
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| Reply by: Lucy at Apr 24, '25 17:03 | |
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I would be bitter and angry too if I were banned from The Duck's Bill and all Duck's Bill events, seminars, gatherings, barbeques and family vacations. |
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| Reply by: QuackersFeatherbeak at Apr 24, '25 20:59 | |
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