It’s been eerily quiet recently. The population has been thinned, and almost - if not - all of the dissenting voices have been forcibly silenced. Legacy families have been expelled from our shores, and anyone displaying a modicum of genuine ability or independent thought has been encouraged to swim wearing concrete boots. The entire country is now mindlessly complying under kafkaesque paranoia and power, silently obliging every whim; conceding life, liberty and opinion for the privilege of existence.

You know what this means though, right? The return of Joe Ligambi, and his ability to turn failure into an art form.

For reference, if anyone has slept through the anticlimactic reigns Uncle Incompetence has subjected us to previously, I shall explain. The source of almost every freedom fighter to come out over the past two years has been authed, or at the very least, facilitated and funded by incompetent old Joe. This is not opinion, but fact. It now appears that the man most obsessed with absolute power is readying, once again, to unwittingly open the terrorist flood gates, for the sole purpose of satisfying his own selfish, overinflated ego.

The problem is, that everyone knows of the infamous Ligambi incompetence, so it’s only the lame and uninitiated that toe the Ligambi line these days. Nobody wants to entrust their life to a crew leader with so few brain cells he seeks validation from the CEO of ‘Incompetent Inc.’. Well, unless of course, they’re seeking to camouflage their own plans to dismantle the status quo, and just need enough time to slip beyond the gaze of a leader so dispossessed of critical thinking that they may very well be the unwitting host born of the Ligambi cordycep spore; a parasitical disorder that compels its victim to blindly obey every idiotic command regardless of how harmful it may be to the victim themselves.

Ligambi, of course, will continue to seek safety behind the lines that view him as so little threat that he’s been permitted to amass a small army. Admittedly, an army of brainless zombies who barely function without supervision, but nevertheless an army willing to mindlessly follow the instructions of the worst leader ever to demand the mantle.

Yes, in a tale as old as time, when a “terrorist” drops the Ligambi brand, seeking to disrupt this depressing status quo, Uncle Joe will cower under a bulletproof vest of witless bodies; a vacuous drone army silently ceding their approval of this institutional cowardice without question. He will fail to fight, delegate or even show face, unless his omnipotence is under threat, at which point, a state of emergency will be declared, and it’ll be all hands on deck until Ligambi’s protection is reinstated, then back to sleep he’ll go. We’ve all seen this movie over and over again, so why do we still provide the structure to permit it? Have we just lost the will to object? Is the ship too far gone to be salvaged, or will a daring hero step up to save a generation of disenfranchised mob children from the drudgery of stale incompetence? You tell me.

I served under the Ligambi regime for quite a while, between different leaders and eventually finding a home as a RHM with the Ligambi Crime Family: Mastrosimone crew. Uncle Joe-Ligambi did offer at one point to fund BGs, which I respectfully denied as I like to keep the burdens to myself as that is who I am. It also doubled up as setting me to be self-sufficient so that way no one can hold that over my head if they wanted to. Uncle Joe never got offended and I appreciated that. I faithfully served the Ligambi Family, whether it was my immediate crew, another district or across the US. If someone needed help, we would band together.

Joe was not overbearing, but as a civilian would have an executive level member overseeing results, he would at least want to see things going smoothly. He would check in and see how we were, chat about non-mafia business, etc. I know no job where you don't have someone overseeing that addresses issues when you fail in performance.

Uncle Joe and I can have a conversation if I disagree with something and I am always open. Yet, we have people who "drop out" because they felt wronged and hold the grudge with them until they feel like they need to act out in rage. Instead, I challenge those pissed off kin to start over, take a breath, and begin with a blank page. Get to know others individually. You won't always get along with someone but hey, we are all here to conduct our Mafia business and have a swell time.

I have never been purged in any of my ancestors' lives, being primarily in Ligambi crews. I was always willing to help where I could and made connections throughout a lot of crews.

Joe was not overbearing, but as a civilian would have an executive level member overseeing results, he would at least want to see things going smoothly.

So as a crew leader in the mob, your father was subservient to a civilian?

I have never been purged in any of my ancestors' lives, being primarily in Ligambi crews.

I think we’re beyond disputing whether or not mass purging goes on at this stage, I’m afraid.

I spill my heart out and that's all you picked up? Clearly you didn't follow what I was saying correctly. Oh wait, I'm talking to a corpse.

Dynamite lights his cigar and walks off.

No, I understood what you were trying to do, I just didn’t see the point in allowing you to derail the topic of conversation from Joe Ligambi’s gross incompetence. You were saying that it’s standard practice for Ligambi to oversee every peon flying the Ligambi banner, even the ones who recruited, housed, trained and financed rogues. Please, continue.

We’ve all seen this movie over and over again, so why do we still provide the structure to permit it? Have we just lost the will to object? Is the ship too far gone to be salvaged, or will a daring hero step up to save a generation of disenfranchised mob children from the drudgery of stale incompetence? You tell me.

Is this meant to be a call to arms? Because if it is, you've done a pretty poor job at it. You don't usually expose a flaw in the system so blatantly and expect it not to get patched. Joe was that flaw and now you've handed over the entire blueprint. And for what? To laugh at the guy? The joke's on you. You're that one kid who gets found in hide and seek and starts yelling, "Come out bro, we're caught!" So nice work, you've made it that much harder for the next person to slip through.

Is anyone unaware that Ligambi is the weak link at this point? Like, genuinely, is this supposed to be some sort of secret? Literally everyone knows the only reason he’s still where he is because he has vast generational wealth. If you think Spike and JTG are going to abandon that gravy train, you underestimate their greed.

Interesting take, EdoMontana. Do you and your artificially assisted interpretation have anything else to add? TheDumpTruck and Babs might be able to offer you some pointers. 

Personally, I think that when Joe-Ligambi doesn't even want Joe-Ligambi to be a leader, despite all outward signs of us having scraped the bottom of the barrel to it's very depths, we still manage to find a way to get even further in there. Good job everyone.