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| The Duck's Bill Issue 12.01: Dawn | Started by: WaffleStompingChamp on May 27, '25 19:26 |
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The Duck's Bill Issue 12.01: Dawn
Loyal readers, You may have noticed that there's a new Chief Editor-in-Chief in town for The Duck's bill. You have noticed correctly, that would be me, WaffleStompingChamp. Quackersfeatherbeak's passing was sudden and unexpected. After 34 successful and celebrated newspaper releases, and a whole 50 days of SimonTheSwanHunter failing to make good on his name, Quackers was found floating upside down and quacking no more, the stale bread that the local kids threw at him remaining uneaten. Tragic. After long and arduous negotiations with Scousepole we've come to an agreement as to the future of The Duck's Bill. It has cost me an arm and a leg but an agreement was reached.
THE FUTURE OF THE DUCK'S BILL There will be some changes, looking at Quacker's accounting most of the paper's profits were spent on The Duck's Bill adjacent events instead of actual journalism. Things such as The Duck's Bill cocktail parties, The Duck's Bill cooking classes (I heard that after the ban of the peking-duck class, the lobster ravioli class was rather popular), The Duck's Bill life-coaching programs, and of course the infamous The Duck's Bill sleepovers. All of it is gone. No more stupid nonsense events. There will only be NEWS. I am also starting a public fundraiser to recoup my 25 million dollar investment. TIPS ARE WELCOME AND APPRECIATED.
THE BANNED READER'S LIST It is during this time that I would also like to remind everyone of the banned reader's list:
And of course who could forget the MEGA BANNED READER'S LIST As another way to turn this feathered-yet-sinking enterprise into a golden goose, banned readers will now be able to BUY THEIR WAY OFF THE BANNED READER'S LIST (but not the MEGA BANNED READER'S LIST, let's not be silly now). Send me your bid up front (in cash) and I will decide if it's enough to get you off there. When deciding the amount you're bidding keep in mind I paid 25 million benjamins for this paper. Don't be stingy. |
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It is certainly an eventful day. Congrats WaffleStompingChamp! And thank you for relieving me of my self imposed duties. I am not fit to run an empire of this magnitude. Are you opposed to my grand idea to erect a statue of QuackersFeatherbeak? |
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| Reply by: TheDumpTruck at May 27, '25 20:24 | |
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TheDumpTruck that will be acceptable, provided the statue is made out of paper mache. I am on a rather tight budget. |
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| Reply by: WaffleStompingChamp at May 27, '25 21:30 | |
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angelo walks in with sun umbrella Waffle, do You think You could run some updates on OCs done in NY? |
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| Reply by: angeloSDNitti at May 27, '25 21:55 | |
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| Reply by: WaffleStompingChamp at May 27, '25 22:13 | |
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angelo puts the gun on the desk, lights the cigar and puts the foots on the table why not? print is too expensive? |
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| Reply by: angeloSDNitti at May 27, '25 22:16 | |
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| WaffleStompingChamp thank you. Paper mache is a fruital way to go about it but I insist the statue of QuackersFeatherbeak be constructed with the finest Italian marble. I will find the means to cover the cost. Even if it means flipping graves, picking locks and robbing banks. | |
| Reply by: TheDumpTruck at May 28, '25 01:29 | |
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Minimum $20,000
