I have been jotting down some random thoughts and feeling I have had. This one refers to my daughters birth, I wanted to share it with all of you. I hope you enjoy!

 

 

 

You can see the wear down the middle of the hallway where men have paraded year after year, each with their own level of anticipation and anxiety. Although, a bit younger than those before me, my nervous swagger was no different. The happiness and excitement I should have felt was pushed deep inside as every possible worry filled my head.

Will I be the man I need to be? Can I provide as needed?  What do I do now?

All these questions and more were floating around while I make my mark pacing back and forth. Only a short time now before my worries became a reality.

By the time I was allowed in the room, my nerves were beyond shot, but there was need for me to put on the face of a confident man. I was ready for what the world is going to hand me.

The time had finally come, no turning back. I watched in amazement as my outlook on life changed.

As the doctors cleaned my new-born pride, I had an overwhelming urge to protect her from them. I felt at that moment they were being too rough with her. Only

thirty seconds into fatherhood and I already felt I knew how to care for my daughter better than trained professionals.

A lifetime passed before I was allowed to hold my daughter. When I was finally allowed, I cradled her close to my chest and looked into her beautiful eyes. I had never known true love until that moment. The warmth I felt was a quick confirmation my heart had indeed melted. I knew from that instant I had nothing to worry about. I would complete any task to make sure my daughter was always happy and safe.

The years have passed and the little baby that once fit snuggly into my arms is now a young lady. I still watch over her like a hawk and strongly believe I know more than anyone when it comes to her. I still melt whenever I look into her puppy eyes and she knows it all too well, using it to get her way whenever she has the chance.

The worries I faced moments before her birth proved to be nothing more than speed-bumps I pushed myself to get over. I owe everything in my life to the birth of my young lady. Her life changed mine for the better and makes me strive for more every day.

Dutch, first off I'd like to thank you for sharing this with us. It takes a lot to come out into the public, and share moments as intimate as this. I know I've taken a lot from it.

I, myself, have no had the privilege to bring a life into this world, but I can only imagine I'd feel quite similar. I'm a protective person to begin with, let alone with someone whose life I've helped create. I can relate to the feeling that you need to be everything for someone, and the doubt that sometimes lingers in the back of your mind. You're more of a man than I am, being able to provide and raise a daughter. I hope one day I can join the club.

I have to agree with Xiphos on pretty much everything he said.

This is a truly personal note you have shared, a very moving one at that. I can tell you are a good father and your daughter will always be safe. I am yet to start heading down that route but it certainly sounds like love like that is unbreakable.

Thanks for sharing.

Cassi dabs at her eyes with a tissue, the story taking her back to the day she brought her own small bundle of preciousness into the world.

Thank you for sharing this Dutch. It is amazing the instant change that takes place once you see that small one that is completely dependent on you. It isn't always easy taking on the role of a parent, but it sure as hell is rewarding every single day.

Cassi wipes her tears, kisses Dutch on his cheek and goes about her day with a smile.

I wanted to leave it awhile before I said anything on this... Mainly because it is a hard subject for me personally to talk on. I generally push these sorts of thoughts to the back of my mind.

Ya see, I never got that treasured moment you did. But the moment you see your child, You know you will always do your best for them. Having known your bloodline a long time, I know you are a brilliant family man, Your children come before anything in your life and you will do anything to protect them.

Thank you for sharing this with us Dutch... It has certainly made me feel differently about opening up and expressing personal feelings.