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| The Assassination of killer6 | Started by: WilliamWashtub on Jul 04, '08 20:17 |
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THE ASSASSINATION OF KILLER6 BY THE COWARD WILLIAMWASHTUB The morning was chilly... Not chilly enough to see his own breath, but enough to force him to pull on an overcoat. One might even go as far as to say it was unseasonably cold for a July in New York. It was nearing 10 a.m. so William quickened his pace. He wasn't worried that killer6 would wake up early today, because, by his watch, he had slept in for four days already. "Lazy shit", William muttered. They had brought killer6 in as a turf war specialist, and so far all he had managed to do was procure a gun and threaten to shoot FrankieFigs with it approximately 6 times a day. Jonnie approached him yesterday morning and told him, "You need to kill... killer6... Wow that seems redundant, there really didn't appear to be a more dramatic play on words I could do there, please forgive me, God that was awful." killer6 had fallen from grace, and the order had finally been passed down to clip him. In his time with them, killer6 had gone from a sharp analytical mind to slipping into an irreversible malaise brought on by hookers, high school girls, and an addiction to a new game that had hit the streets of New York called Jazz Band. William didn't relish having to kill his oldest and dearest friend. His footsteps seemed to echo loudly on the sidewalk as he made his way to killer6's penthouse flat. He was almost to his destination when his mind started to wander. He had always been curious about killer6. They had been friends a long time yes, but only since high school. They ran in different circles as kids, and this was due in large part to the fact that killer6 lived 86 miles away, somewhere between purgatory and New Jersey. He had also been perplexed by his name. What kinds of parents name their kid "killer6". When they first crossed paths in high school, William had thought it was a joke, at least until killer6 was repeatedly called into the principal's office because they were having trouble getting his standardized test bubble sheets validated. William finally reached the front door to the building killer6 lived in and made his way over to the elevator. The doors opened and he was off to the top floor. William tapped his foot impatiently waiting for the elevator to stop. Soon enough he felt the floor jolt slightly as it came to a halt and he moved silently to the foot of killer6's bed. Sure enough, his friend was fast asleep, mumbling things of a very graphic, sexual nature that must have been occurring in his dreams. He sighed while watching his pal snooze away. He pulled his gun from a shoulder-strap holster and examined the target. William knew killer6 would be a hard kill, not just emotionally, but physically too; the little shit was built like a tank. He needed to aim and find a spot he knew would inflict a mortal wound that would drain all the life force from his friend. William raised his gun slightly at killer6 and fired a singular shot... At his crotch. William saw killer6's eyes flutter open, and with his dying breaths he uttered, "William, there's one thing I never understood... Do the crabs kill them?" He looked at his dying companion and replied, "No killer6, it's not the crabs, it's the cold Arctic waters which induce hypothermia." William saw a quick flicker of enlightenment in killer6's eyes before he was gone forever. |
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I love that story... fantastic! I really thought the crabs killed them... :-/ |
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| Reply by: Ganelon at Jul 05, '08 12:20 | |
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That Killer6 fella is a hard kill...not that I am as seasoned as William here, but i took my shot, and Killer6 laughed at me! Jun 27, '08 20:07 You tried to WACK! killer6. Killing him would have been a sweet revenge though, our great great grandfathers might agree. The only difference is I wouldn't have given your son a dime..."sorry I accidentally killed your dad, here's 500K... |
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| Reply by: Cilantro at Jul 05, '08 14:30 | |
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An epic story if I may say so, made only by your valiant efforts in ridding the world of such lethargic and infestuous scum. Coward? No. For assasinating killer6, WilliamWashtub, you are my hero. It takes a special kind of man to shoot a sleeping family member in the crotch. |
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| Reply by: BitterSweet at Jul 05, '08 14:37 | |
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*looks at Ganelon* Dude, you have the crab emporium tied down! Surely you wouldn't.......... |
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| Reply by: Foamy at Jul 05, '08 19:49 | |
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