I have seen some very disturbing trends in the streets of this thing of ours in recent times. Monsters on the loose in broad daylight. Vampires openly strutting the streets, taking side jobs as strippers, cross breeding with werewolves in public. Those same werewolves shamelessly defecating on the sidewalks, without even the common decency to bring along a poop bag on their walk. Shadows coming to life in various shadow forms, chain smoking cigarettes and shadowing in the shadows. Dragon-furries crawling around on all fours, hissing at passerby in what I assume to be an attempt to breathe fire. I've even heard tale of pink ponies prancing through the streets, but I'm pretty sure they were the good guys.

Your Witcher is here to tell you - do not fear. These "monsters" cannot hurt you - they are not real. They're just people. In my professional opinion, I would say that they have most likely overdosed on ELKMILK, and are now suffering from hallucinations and severe withdrawal. They should have read the warning label.

I am now introducing a medicine specifically formulated to fight the effects of ELKMILK and return these poor souls to sanity. If you witness anyone claiming to be a supernatural being, please do not hesitate to reach out, and your Witcher will make haste to administer a hot steamy bowl of Ramen. This all natural super cure is responsibly sourced from the finest noodles and guaranteed to alleviate the effects of ELKMILK, and it's symptoms. Including but not limited to: vampirism, lycanthropy, smallpox, irritable bowels, and erections lasting over four hours.

If you or a loved one is suffering from adverse effects of ELKMILK overdose, please reach out to your local Witcher's office as soon as possible. You may be entitled to financial compensation.

Oblivion makes his way toward Geralt, very gingerly as though his legs aren't fully cooperating, and with his face veiled to hide himself as best as possible. It's obviously apparent that he is struggling with something.

Hello Mr. Witcher. I heard you may uhm.

He hesitates and adjusts his pants as best as he can, fully regretting and awash in regret for how tight they are.

I've had this thing for well over four hours. Got anything that could help?

He coughs, and pulls a flask out of his back pocket. He'd thought it was full with whiskey.

You may want to have a look at this as well. It's all I've had. Perhaps ELKMILK has infested our whiskey supply around here.

He tries to hide his discomfort some more, while he waits on the remedy to his woes.

Good evening Oblivion, my dear friend. I see your predicament here, and am happy to say that I know exactly how to help. What you need to do is soak the affected area in a bowl of Ramen for exactly 47 minutes. Any fewer will result in no effect, and any longer may result in loss of use of your noodle altogether. So I urge you to make use of an egg timer, and not to fall asleep whilst bathing the area.

As for the whiskey, I can neither confirm nor deny and rumors that ELKMILK has been leaked into the supply of many major breweries with the intention of getting people addicted. I would have to direct you to their legal department.