Gather around, friends, and let me regale you with tales from the days of yore...

The year was 1950. Bob Burgerhouse, a non-vampire, had just risen through the ranks of organized crime in the Windy City. His prowess caught the attention of brent, who was known to rule organized crime with equal thirst for money, power, and warm, gooey blood. Brent made Bob his Left Hand Man, and this upset one of Bob's cohorts deeply. Let's just call him "Grin". Grin wanted that LHM position for himself and would do anything to get it. He would even join the ranks of the undead, if it came to it.

Lo and behold, weeks later, Count Grin, as he became known for some reason, orchestrated the demise of Bob Burgerhouse. He hissed in his Master Brent's ear that Bob Burgerhouse was a villain - that he had bad intentions - anything he could say to turn Brent against Bob. 

One night, under a full moon, as Count Grin squatted in a corner rubbing his hands together in diabolical delight, Brent swooped down from the rafters and attempted to sink his fangs into Bob's neck. But Bob was nimble. Armed only with a spatula, he swatted at Brent the Bat as he backed slowly towards the door. Count Grin scurried away under some furniture. Bob made it out of Brent's lair, but his days were already numbered. He was persona non grata in the Chicago underworld, and all of Cosa Nostra turned their backs on him. The stain on the mafia that is known as "Burgerhousing" was born.

Enter RICHTER BELMONT, out of nowhere, a hero came to Chicago to vanquish the night creatures. Not to avenge Bob Burgerhouse, but because it was the right thing to do.

With a wild swinging of his mace he bellowed "HAVE AT YOU!!!" as the vampires ran away in terror.

RICHTER would slay Brent and the entire coven before taking his place as Capo di Tutti Capi, leading the cities in peace and prosperity for several years, until the dark days of Scousepole and the Rim Jobs. Hubcaps were no longer enough, apparently, so they started stripping the rims off cars and leaving them up on blocks. Most of these rim jobs were given out to the City of Chicago and those proceeds helped to build part of the foundation of the city that still exists today.

But that's a story for another day...

What a terrifying, cautionary tale. And what of Count Grin? What happened to him? Has his family line been vanquished from the face of the earth? I can't imagine anyone would ever feel safe with him around ever again. If he were around today, I'd passionately advocate for his immediate demise. 

It's a sad tale, Beautiful George, but from the death and destruction of Old Chicago rises a phoenix. Our strength is derived from the horrible memories of late night vampire attacks, burgerhousings, and attempted rim jobs. When things get tough, what gets us through is knowing that those things are a memory and the future looks bright.

As for old Count Grin, he was vanquished by RICHTER BELMONT and dissipated into the mist. His progeny were eaten. I think that's the last we will see of that miserable family. If he reappears, I have a secret envelope from RICHTER that I swore I would never open unless vampires reappeared. I suspect he will come back to save us.