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| The Bloody Tissue, Issue I | Started by: Branston on Jul 06, '08 20:45 |
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A note from the Editor(s) Recently, I was sat at my breakfast table crying into my cornflakes and reading The Mafia Tribune. It was all very well written and I was pleased to have something to distract me from the continuous sobbing I seem to suffer when eating cornflakes. I had a slight problem though. It was all very biased. 'This is a bit wrong is this' so I stood up from the table, donned my hat and ran as fast as my fat little legs could carry me to IronMans house. I pound away on the door for a few minutes but no-one answers. I pull a big sadface. My dream is dead at the first hurdle. BUT WAIT! SOMEONE IS HERE! I AM SAVED! The door opens and IronMans mum answers. "Hello Mrs Man. I was wondering if Iron could play out today?" I ask whilst I cover my crotch with my hat. She is a hotty for a mummy. Anyhows, Iron barges past her and drags me away from the door. "What do you want Bloody? I am trying to be a good boy and arselick my way to LHM with Johnny." I lolz quietly and begin to tell him my plan. The plan is as follows: 1. Go to the local 7-11 and rob the fucker 2. Re-rent our ancestors offices in Chicago 3. Buy the printing press back off Mikus. He shall have to make his pensioner bus passes by hand again. So much for mass production 4. Write some bullshit articles and print them onto paper. 5. Hand them out free every other Sunday. 6. Sit back and take the applause before retiring with millions of dollars and lot's of Ice Cream "So, whadda ya think?" I ask "It's a fucking brilliant idea. We shall be better than the Tribune " So, judge for yourselves.. July 2nd July 2nd is surely a day that will go down in the ledgers of Mafia History as a sad smear on the face of La Cosa Nostra, regardless of responsibility and blame. What follows is an exclusive, entirely unedited account which has been Alessia's first comment on the events of the 2nd of July. Keep reading for next week's interview with the son of a fallen member of Alessia's Guardians. One this horrendous date, I went to bed feeling I had left my family in the safest of hands. A man named w00tage whose ancestors had been intertwined with mine for generations. A man with whom I have been in correspondence with prior to his arrival upon these shores. Someone who my ancestors had trusted with their lives and who I trusted not only with mine but more importantly with my crew. I spent a lot of time conversing with him that day and noted not a single change in his character or integrity, nor did anything strike me as unusual until the following day. I was awakened in the middle of the night by a call from a family friend who thought I was being warred. Upon coming out of my bedroom, I found the bodies of my entire crew, strewn around, killed in their sleep without a sound. Frantically looking for someone still alive and the cause of all of this, one of the other family leaders approached me with the information that w00tage had done these deeds and had been killed upon it's discovery. I could not understand this, on top of grieving so horribly for my members, the betrayal I felt was deep. I started reading our correspondence again and talked with one of the gods cocerning him. It was only then I noticed a few inconsistencies in the correspondence, things like his nickname for me prior to these shores was never used and then I found that he had arrived here from an area I knew w00tage to not be in prior to his arrival. All of this, in this world we live in adds up in my mind as well as many others I have consulted with to the appearence that this man was a plant, done so deliberately to annihilate my family as well as done so by someone(s) who would both know his and my ancestries well enough to be able to pull it off. Obviously nothing can undo that night. I grieve for my lost ones publicly - not in any obituary which will soon disappear behind multitude of pages of others but in a memorial that can be seen daily by anyone. I have rebuilt mostly thanks to the children of the men and women who showed their faith in me and their thoughts that I showed very little error in judgement by immediately coming to my headquarters upon leaving the boat. -Alessia Panic on the Streets of Lon...New York IronMan's body lay defiled and desecrated on the sidewalk outside of his favourite Philadelphia steakhouse. Though no one would realise for another 5 hours, this was the start of a systematic takedown of New York organised crime syndicate Project Mayhem initiated by Las Vegas, and to a lesser extent, Chicago. In a fairly unconventional takedown, where the main losses were sustained some hours after the initial casualty, Jonnie_Reese died before the majority of his members, who were then picked apart by the devoted hitters from Sin City. Many New York locals are surprised, if not incensed, that the Las Vegas Don cut short his professional friendship with Mr. Reese and New York, leaving the Project Shadow alliance in absolute tatters in a move that has been branded by some as two faced, dishonest and even cowardly. When asked to submit to an interview for the Bloody Tissue regarding his motives, Animal declined and commented that "if i [Animal] have some thing i feel needs to be written i will write it for everyone to see in the streets", and the fact that this has yet to happen has been a cause for unease for mobsters across the six cities; many of whom have taken to speculating as to the causes for this war. Among the circulating rumours being heard in the Coffeeshops surrounding the events of last night are that Mr. Reese had insulted Don Animal's long time partner, an affront which he could not forgive; that Mr. Reese's Right Hand Man knew the whereabouts of his Boss and refused to inform the other leaders, an alleged dishonesty that lead to their untimely death; and finally, and perhaps the most outlandish rumour this reporter has heard given Don Animal's stature, that he felt threatened and bullied by Mr. Reese's general demeanour. One thing that is for sure though, despite all the uncertainty regarding the war itself, is that information despite being readily available in the coffeshops, has been non-existent in the Streets and on OOC avenue. This lack of information struck a chord with City Hall top dog Squishy, who was spurred into denouncing the general Leadership style on OOC avenue. In a rare show of emotion, Squishy claimed, to paraphrase, that a leader who couldn't take the time out to inform their members of current goings on were poor leaders. It remains to be seen what the general opinion is on this matter, and whether Squishy's heartfelt plea will inspire the Leadership, as a whole, to be more open on matters in the future. -Branston A View From the Bottom There has always been debate about the young ones of our world. As such, The Bloody Tissue has decided to do a little research into this matter. Each week we shall be interviewing someone new to our shores and getting their opinions on a few questions. We may use the same questions or we may as them about a specific thing. Either way, we should get some unbiased answers. This week I mailed Gardipee and asked him if he would mind being my subject. Here are his thoughts on the world: So, How are you finding this world? Different. Although I haven't really found alot to do I am still finding I cannot leave. What were your first thoughts upon joining our community? This world looks life controlling. Has anyone come forward to try and help you? No one has come forward and tried to help me so far Is it hard to get into a family? No it was not for me, I knew some people. They contacted Iris and got me a foot in with her. What are your opinions on shooting new people in our world who remain homeless? I think they should be shot at, they had there 48 hours (stupid 48 rule) to find a family. If they die big deal they have the ability to make a new account. Do you think that members of this community could do more to help the new ones? Not really if new people have questions they should ask someone or read the mafia bible. What are you first impressions of our current leaders? They know how to run a successful family and they have been around long enough that they can feel safe in the knowledge if war ever happens they should be pretty well prepared. Would you like to be in their shoes and if so, what would your aim be? I would like to be in their shoes. My aim would be to become Godfather and the most powerful person to ever be part of this world. And to wrap up, where do you see yourself in two weeks time? Wise Guy and whatever my Boss asks me to do in the mean time. I'd like to thank Gardipee for his time and come back next week for the view from the bottom. -Bloody. Until Next Week... To those of you who've got this far, thank you for reading and we hope you enjoyed our wondrous publication. We are, as ever, looking for material. If you are interested in writing for the Bloody Tissue, or in electing yourself for an interview, don't hesitate to mail Bloody or Branston; and please remember all articles are printed completely original and unedited, in an effort to create the most impartial publication possible. Thank you, and until next week, The Management. |
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| Apologies for the slightly out of date nature of some details; printing presses are obscenely expensive to stop. | |
| Reply by: Branston at Jul 06, '08 21:00 | |
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| Only BITCHES could've written this!!!! You're all bitches!!!!!!! BITCHES!!!!!!! | |
| Reply by: ZzTop at Jul 07, '08 04:06 | |
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Thank you very much. Your feedback is much appreciated. |
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| Reply by: Bloody at Jul 07, '08 04:53 | |
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I really enjoyed reading it. I like to hear about the impressions from the new ones, good idea. Keep up the good work guys. Regards, Sal Licata |
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| Reply by: Salvatore_Licata at Jul 07, '08 05:09 | |
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| An excellent read but I expected nothing less, considering those involved in its creation. Looking forward to the next one. | |
| Reply by: Contrast at Jul 07, '08 05:15 | |
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| Good read, well done guys. | |
| Reply by: Patience at Jul 07, '08 10:35 | |
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Its actually a great read for anyone who's not sure what happened over this past weekend. Looking forward to the next one. |
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| Reply by: Batista at Jul 07, '08 12:54 | |
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