Your driving around the streets of New Orleans when suddenly a man with arms way too big for his body steps right in front of your car.   You swerve to get out of the way nearly running over and old lady before coming to a stop.  ‘What was that?’ you wonder, when something on the radio catches your attention.   You turn it up to have a listen:

Good evening ladies and gentleman, here is our top story of the night.

All around New Orleans strange sightings have been reported.   Although we cannot confirm our sources because, as like most who call New Orleans home, all of our sources were belligerently drunk…  and smelled just awful, but nonetheless all of these stinky vagrants have been calling in sightings of Juice Monkeys.

Now for those who are unaware, a Juice Monkey is man or woman so obsessed with there external appearance, likely because they have little to no personality, that they find it necessary to build up there body’s with a wide variety of natural and unnatural substances.  Juice Monkey’s are often spotted wearing tight fitting shirts to highlight there overly muscular bodies, and disproportionately sized arms.   Now I’ve been told that Juice Monkeys are not dangerous unless bumped into in a bar, in which case be prepared for what people are calling a “bro-off”.   Apparently this consists of standing very close and shouting threats at one another ending in ‘bro’.  Here is an example:

Juice Monkey1: You wanna go bro?

Juice Monkey2: You don’t want none of this bro!

JM1: You think Im scared bro?

JM2: Ill end you bro!

This can apparently go on for hours.

If one is perhaps lucky enough to see one of these Juice Monkeys they should immediately…  oh wait…   Ok ladies and gentleman we have breaking news out of New Orleans.   Godfather Stamina is apparently responding to all the complaints about these Juice Monkeys and is opening a home for them in his own city.   Truly an amazing act of kindness and one I’m sure that New Orleans members will be thrilled about.   Putting all them in one location is a great way to keep the streets of New Orleans from being over run.  People interested in what to do with a Juice Monkey should they have captured one, mostly likely luring it into a trap with a protein shake, or if there are any Juice Monkeys out there listening to our program interested in where there is a safe haven for them should contact GymTanLaundry as he is in charge of the new sanctuary.

GymTanLaundry is of course well known for his defence of Juice Monkey rights and was a natural pick for Godfather Stamina to open this Juice Monkey reserve.

We will keep you posted on how this progresses.   Thank you for listening to New Orleans news.

WhereWasI's jaw drops,

Oh god no... Not more god damned monkeys!!! I warned you people, they're spreading!!!

(OOC: Congrats on setting up, just couldn't resist with all the monkey jokes)

GymTanLaundry approaches WhereWasI and put his jaw back to the normal rest place

No need to worry folks allow me to give you all the most respected dictionary definition of a "Juice Monkey"

GymTanLaundry passes out the dictionaries to the gathered crowd.

As you can clearly see there is no mention of any sort of primate in the definition.   Oh and please note we are using the first definition.   The second definition has nothing to do with us... yet

Congrats!!! Its wonderful to see you go bold brother. I know you'll do great things with your family and I wish you the best of days and to live long and prosper! This is well deserved bro!

As Clyde fist pumps in the air for the Juice Monkeys....GTL baby!

PJ takes note to buy a stronger cage.

My apologies GymTanLaundry... I'll put him back in his cage as soon as my Scouse Monkeys can catch up with him. God knows how he escapes sometimes. I think I have a monkey traitor :/


Congratulations on your opportunity to show the country what you've got. Good luck matey.

That fucking juice-monkey took my lunch and killed my dog.

Thief and a killer.. Sounds just like the Scouse Monkeys!!!

Congratulations on your new position, GTL.

Congratulations I look forward to see what you can do I'm sure you will be an amazing leader I have no doubt about that.