Tom was making big moves these days. His headquarters was bursting at the seams and over on the south side, Bob had a stranglehold on the local criminal underworld. The only problem in Chicago was with Tom's ties to the local Catholic diocese. The church was currently under scrutiny by Federal law enforcement. There were rumors of illegal and unsanctioned bear wrestling and scandalous allegations flying around of inter-species relationships with the Canadian Sasquatch. The buzz surrounding these points of interest was drawing the wrong kind of attention, and Tom had to do something about it.

Tom's liaison to the Catholic church was Father O'Malley. O'Malley was a filthy degenerate, but a filthy degenerate who generated a ton of cash for Tom's business operations. Tom could solve all his problems by severing ties with O'Malley, but still keeping him close enough to collect a "tithe". Tom was going to miss that sweet paycheck, but this time he had to toss the baby out with the bathwater. O'Malley would begin running operations out of the Catholic church on Rush Street. This would take the spotlight off Tom's dealings and put them on the church, where they always seemed to manage avoiding harsh criticism.

Confident in his decision, Tom went to tell O'Malley, but he was nowhere to be found...

"Oh, he went up to Canada for the weekend!", Meltdown yelled from across the room.

"What the hell is he doing up there?!?", Tom replied.

Jim, raising his head up from his paperwork and looking completely unimpressed, said "Looking for bears. And maybe a date. The bear wrestling is bringing in a ton of cash, you know..."

Tom let out a heavy sigh. It was as he expected, but hoped wasn't true. O'Malley was having unnatural relations with a sasquatch. And the bear smuggling and wrestling? Unapproved. Tom was a traditional man and liked making money the traditional way - by suckering it out of churchgoers. He sure didn't need the ASPCA or PETA on his ass. That was it. O'Malley had to go...

Tom coughed and cleared his throat to get the attention of his crew and anyone else within earshot...

"AHEM! Has anyone seen Father O'Malley? We have urgent business to attend to and it cannot wait any longer! It is my understanding that he went to Canada to smuggle bears and perhaps have a quickie with a squatch? I don't know and maybe I don't want to know. What I need are some witness accounts of his actions up there in Saskatoon or wherever. I need to have my story straight just in case I'm questioned by the Feds. Have you seen him? What has he been up to? I will pay the sum of FIVE MILLION DOLLARS to the best witness account of Father O'Malley's Canadian Wilderness Trip".

Indifference thought that he was a super sleuth.  Everyone told him he was shitty at it - but he didn't give a fuck.  He thought he was pretty good.  He was also a man of the Maple Leaf himself - so when he had heard through the grapevine that Tomjoad was looking for his RHM in Canadia - Indifference thought he'd take a crack at seeing what the old fella was up to...

Indifference first got off the train on the east coast.  The first thing that he noticed was that the Moosehead brewery looked like it had been upended.  They were frantically trying to recoup what had been massively consumed.  To Indifference, it was a sign that @FatherOmalley had been there - but alas he was too late.  

From there - he went east.  He ended up in Quebec - the home of PIGale's and most of the Catholic Father's in the country.  He walked into the church and the priest had said something about a guy coming in to take confessions who was old and smelled of bad cologne.  

He knew where he had to go - he had to go west.  He made his way to Alberta and got off the train.  The first thing he saw was a sign for Maple Syrup wrestling.  That seemed like a canadian thing to do.  Indifference made his way to the circus to see if he might see his fellow canuck.  

Meltdown got to thinking about the moment Father_OMalley announced he was off to Canada. Thinking back I was the only one around when he mentioned his planned trip. Father OMalley knows all to well how much I enjoy talking within the headquarters. So of course I am going to let the boss know his whereabouts when asked. 

We may have to book flights to the least suspected country to locate our dear Father OMalley.  

The post office loomed ahead, dull brick and sober windows, Jim shoved inside, the stale smell of ink and damp paper clinging to the air. He slapped a folded sheet down on the counter, breathless, sweat beading at his temples.

“Telegram,” he barked, voice sharp enough to cut through the clerk’s boredom.

“Send it,” Jim snapped, fishing crumpled bills from his pocket. “Fast. Before O’Malley ends up in a headline or a hymn.”

OMALLEY STOP YOU ALIVE QUERY STOP HEARD MANY STORIES REGARDING WHEREABOUTS STOP SOME SAY MEAT PACKING DISTRICT NEW YORK STOP OTHERS SAY PACKING FUDGE MICHIGAN STOP WHAT GIVES QUERY STOP TOM SEARCHING EVERYWHERE STOP LAST I HEARD YOU CAUGHT WITH BEARS IN WOODS STOP NOW SAID YOU ON THE LAMB STOP IRONIC EH LAMB PRIEST AND ALL STOP WIRED YOU FLIGHT MONEY STOP MISS YOU LOTS STOP P S BLEACHED THE CONFESSIONAL BOOTH STOP

The clerk tapped it out, each click of the key hammering Jim’s nerves tighter. By the time the last STOP was struck, Jim lit a cigarette with shaky hands, muttering, “God help us both, Father.”

Unfortunately, we were unable to find Father O'Malley in time, and he returned yesterday and barged into my office, restraining two grizzly bears on leashes. I was forced to leave and live the rest of my life in servitude to Godfather "Grizzly Fucker" O'Malley. Indifference's account of events seems to be accurate, as far as I can tell. I confirmed that Canada was out of Moosehead and that was enough evidence for me.

Indifference is rewarded with FIVE MILLION DOLLARS for his fine detective work.