Recently, there has been a report of a newly formed cult-

(Off-Screen, Dean-Winchester glares at the West Coast Tribune Reporter with an intent to kill because the West Coast is a shit- We mean, Dean-Tatorship, fucking sponsors.)

Recently there has been a report of a newly formed organisation; you may read this in quotation marks, people.

The crew has been responsible for the lack of effort put into business ashore, in the Old Country, and has since placed all their efforts into the life of the city's flourishing and the recent duelling contest that saw the winner, Oblibot, stand as a testament to the West Coast's new...status. 

A dean-tatorship. 

Now, you may ask, where did this come from, this newly formed status of life and renewal by the west coast? 

It all started one drizzly Tuesday-

(Off-screen, Oblivion just shook his head and told the reporter to stick to the script or otherwise he might not get the Dean sponsorships that he needed to keep his cardboard box of a house. Fucking real estate agents and their cul- collective!)

It all started when Las Vegas caporegime Omniscient – we have no clue whether or not this was an alias or his real name. Surprisingly, he was found dead by non-aligned collective member Bollix, who, at the funeral, told passersby to use the statement they gave as toilet paper. 

Back to the story at hand, Omniscient revealed that the entire west coast were supposedly puppets for the mastermind of war and handjobs, Dean Winchester.

Of course, the West Coast, who had spent decades, years, and in actuality, seconds, plotting their response to this injustice, had decidedly revealed themselves as the Dean Collective. 

Involved in these antics personally were Oblivion, supposedly in the trusted inner circle of the Dean Collective, as well as TruceFather who had led the charge in revealing this newly minted cult collective that had swept the entire west coast in a blaze of glory. 

Omniscient had quickly been placed in the back of a car and dealt with by the true non-aligned believers in Las Vegas. However, the true story at hand was that the Dean Collective had effectively swept across the coast, with one James Howlett effectively mocking Omniscient by declaring that he (James) had a secret crush on the enigma that was Dean Winchester. 

No wonder he joined the collective so easily; some believe that MaddyPerez should give him a few oreos to set him right. 

Surprisingly that was ignored by the majority of the people who had enjoyed the social club and quickly became taken by the Rogue/Roguette duo who had decidedly launched a venture to terrorise and be shot at by the members at the social club at the time. 

In other news, there was a strange sense that the Godfather of Hollywood, Optimus, continues to be bad luck in Organized Charity runs and there seem to be some people in Hollywood who feel as if James Howlett took that curse on considering his bad streak as of late. 

Back to the story that matters here, there was a growing disgruntlement, with many of the west coast decidedly taking the matter into their own hands. Some pronounced that Omniscient wasn't shit, others said those were a waste of good bodyguards and many wondered who the next "crashout" (whatever that means) or "loudmouth" of the month may be. 

Especially considering Philadelphia RHM, a non-aligned Dean Collective member, BigEasy chanted...Jerry Jerry Jerry! For some reason, maybe it has to do with a talk show that'll appear in our papers soon enough.

Some said that this was just another day at the office, and well, this reporter says, come one, come all, the Dean Collective is here for you. 

Of all issues, creeds, and whatever else you may pertain to be, come find your home in the worth of Dean. 

You're Dean, I'm Dean, we're all Dean. 

Come home to us. 

(And we're clear, thank fuck, I'm done with that. now gimme my fucking money; this is bullshit! Who the fuck believes in this shit-)

Sorry that reporter has been dealt with; come home to Dean.

You're Dean, I'm Dean, we're all Dean.

(No reporter was harmed during this newspaper, sincerely, the Dean Collective.)

BigEasy puffs his cigar. Places his hat on the table. Stands up and faces JamesHowlett.

To suggest that I'm not an active member of the Dean collective is an insult. If I must, I will bring this whole story crashing down with the wrath of truth.