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| The forming of a new couch club | Started by: TheNewGuy on Sep 07, '25 18:05 |
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TheNewGuy slowly walks into a dark back room of a run down brothel followed by Regman, he adjusts his wrinkled suit, clear his throat and speaks in a laid back, chesty tone. In front of him was a gathering of all the finest Corktown criminals. "Hey, everybpdy calm down. Don't make make me work hard to say this.. So..I'm standing here today to point out what an outstanding job you fellas have done here in Corktown, It’s been a tired journey of doing absolutely nothing. While the rest of those Bricktown boys running girls, knocking off corner shops, I've been taking naps under the deli counter, I feel like I’m setting the bar real high which is something to be proud of. I will stress that if you're working hard, giving it your all..you're doing too much. Get someone else to do it, that's delegation my friends, take a load off, have several drinks and leave the hard work to the rest of Detroit. We'd like to continue the proud reputation of Corktown, a tradition started by the honourable Monarch a true visionary in the art of slacking, with the announcement of a new criminal empire, a criminal empire not built on violence but a criminal empire of doing nothing, diddly squat known as 'The Corktown Couch Club'.» A drunk cheer emerges from the background as TheNewGuy ushers Regman out of the way as if you were taking your nonna to the toilet. «Fellas I have a few ground rules we must adhere too Never volunteer for nothing. If it sounds like work it probably is. Blame Regman. Do 10 % and take all of the credit. Today we bunch of unruly lazy bastards announce ourselves in Corktown with plenty of naps and whisky refills. Let everyone else grind and hustle for a dollar, We delegate, dodge and disappear. Go foward and spread the word of minimal effort and remember if the cops come calling blame Regman» Slow claps emerge in the background and murmurs of approval as TheNewGuy yawns mid stride, to take his fourth nap of the day. |
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