Compiled by an independent evaluator who definitely isn’t biased in any way whatsoever.

This report provides a factual, data-driven, and completely emotionless evaluation of all known T-class individuals operating within the community. Rankings are based on integrity, notoriety, entertainment value, and ability to spell their own name correctly.

The audit confirms a wide variation in quality across T classifications. Single Ts show signs of confusion and existential fatigue. Double Ts maintain balance through low expectations. Triple Ts carry the legacy of excellence and volatility. The sole Quad T remains an administrative anomaly.

Top Performer: TonyTheTailor

Lowest Performer: LittleTimmy

Further investigation is unnecessary. The findings are final, and no appeals will be accepted.

Single Ts

1. FatTony

Score: 7.3/10

Rating: Functionally irritating but regionally consistent

Filipino-Irish hybrid who dedicates his life to annoying Detroit. No real achievements but highly dependable for stirring tension in places that don’t want it.

2. Taupe

Score: 6.9/10

Rating: Ghostly but stable

Descendant of Ramen, who died in a public spectacle. Serves as LH to FutureScare but is mostly invisible.

3. TomJoad

Score: 6.7/10

Rating: Disengaged elder statesman

Former Godfather of Chicago who voluntarily stepped down to embrace the art of apathy. Still active, just not in the mood for responsibility.

4. treant

Score: 6.2/10

Rating: Exists

Left Hand in an LV crew led by Indifference, which tells you everything about his motivational outlook. Contributes quietly, possibly on purpose.

5. Trapdog

Score: 5.8/10

Rating: Bark louder than bite

Formerly of LV, now barking aimlessly in Chicago. Name quality remains a documented concern.

6. Tangerine

Score: 5.5/10

Rating: Technically citrus-adjacent

Not an orange, and that’s the entire contribution to the ecosystem. Points for honesty.

7. BigTed

Score: 4.2/10

Rating: Temporarily alive

Shows alarming commitment to recurring suicidal themes. Best enjoyed while able.

8. LittleTimmy

Score: 1.1/10

Rating: Naughty liability

Spawn of a rogue sympathiser, routinely misbehaves, and unlikely to pass any form of cognitive audit based on recent form. 

Double T

1. TinyTim

Score: 6.4/10

Rating: Small but serviceable

Welsh origin confirmed. Offers steady mediocrity with minor charm. 

Triple Ts

1. TonyTheTailor
Score: 10/10
Rating: Certified legend
Recognised figure of cultural importance. Avoids Rat events, delivers swift justice through swirlies, and commands respect without ever asking for it. Universally accepted as the superior T.

2. TheTrashTruck
Score: 7.9/10
Rating: Unstable genius
If kicked, dice fall out. Loud, unpredictable, and allergic to authority. Possibly insane but undeniably effective at causing chaos in measured doses.

Quad T

1. TimTheToolmanTaylor
Score: 5.1/10
Rating: Over-engineered nonsense
Took excessive liberties with the letter count. Son of a man who perished from caffeine deficiency. Cannot read. Somehow still functional.

Fake news

All lies

Littletimmy 4 auth

I can without a doubt say that Tangerine is the worst T on this list and has no business representing a T, but representing a human corpse at all. A 5.5 you say for the worst hit squad leader in the entire country? When in reality he should be a hitlist watcher?

Disgrace to the metric system. 

Tangerine is a 2.5 at best and a 0 at worst. 

I do however feel that TomJoad needs more respect on his name. He could certainly take this list if he really wanted to.

And BigTed? Mediocre at best according to this survey? Puh-lease. I hate Detroit and even I can say that BigTed is more than mediocre for his city, but this country.

Will you be giving these ratings amongst the T's to outside journalists?

BadxWolf listens to the obviously unbiased judging and scoffs

"POPPYCOCK!" 

His voice carrying disdain at the ratings. 

"Not even a mention of the TequilaNights, what is this a kangaroo judging!?"

Single T....FatTony....treant.....LittleTimmy

I'm confused. 

1. TonyTheTailor
Score: 10/10
Rating: Certified legend
Recognised figure of cultural importance. Avoids Rat events, delivers swift justice through swirlies, and commands respect without ever asking for it. Universally accepted as the superior T

You forgot the most important part of the puzzle. Best friend of SlimRagnarok, the true king of Detroit. 

BadxWolf returns to the judging area to present an official audit conducted by important people.

*cough, cough*

He clears his throat.

"I present to you a TRUE biased-unbiased but biased super official audit of the man known as TonyTheTailor aka TripleT"

He presents the audit to the masses.

TonyTheTailor
Score: 4/10
Rating: Certified Pseudo-legend
Recognised figure of cultural importance irrelevance. Avoids Sucks at Rat events, delivers swift justice through swirlies (self-imposed justice at life-long bullying), and commands respect without ever asking for it except for day ending with a "Y". Universally accepted as the superior T through paid panels or blackmail.

*cough cough 

 the true king of Detroit. lmao i believe the true king of dt would be pine or maybe zenza not slim 

At least Slim has a little bit of name recognition going for him in his attempt to blatantly usurp the throne. I've never even heard of Pine or Zenza, so they definitely aren't royalty and especially not over a proud nation like Detroit. Maybe some weak, lesser nation like Norway I could buy. Are you sure you didn't mean Norway? Pine the Unknown, King of Norway. I could probably buy that. 

Big Ted shakes his head as he reads the section surrounding him, suicidal themes? One retirement doesn’t make him suicidal. He stubs his cigar onto the nearby wall before dropping it to the floor and steps forward. 
 

“Let it be known, without Big Ted these streets wouldn’t nearly be as safe as they are now. I’m like a 1930s Batman!”

NikeT looked at the notice board and couldn't find his name. Obviously not and important enough 'T' to be notiched

NikeT shuffled along the pavement in his fresh Nike socks and new Nike tick hair doo

I will shoot FatTony if you want boss.  

he's not that tough.  

nomesayin'