Vigilant was holding a book, and was facing the crowd. The book he was holding was a diary.
His very own grandfathers to be precise. A man that has gone places and has lead a good life.
But this man clearly has seen a lot of different strokes and his old age was getting to him.
Vigilant turned the pages and started reading page 89 out loud for the others to hear...

'January... 24th day, one of the hardest of my life. This morning, thumbling through my set of keys
i managed to find the one that fits in the keyhole of the door lock. A swift turn to the left is all
i needed to hear the 'click' of the mechanical rollers inside the lock itself.
I then enter my HQ and suddenly the sound of a engine grabs my attention.

I smile to myself, noticing that the car pulling over next to the curb was my trustee RHM. I finally beat him to the task of beeing
the first to arrive at the headquarters today. I was quite happy, my family is doing well and i seemed
like i had lesser work to do as everything was getting done by itself.


Opening the mailbox next to my office door i grab the notes and also yesterdays financial report
as i do every morning. Whistling, i enter my office and strut along to my chair. I let myself drop in it
and start to read the family's financial status. As i was concentrated on the piece of paper in front of
my face i heard faint sounds coming from my office door.

As curiousily was invading my mind i decide to open the door and see where the sounds were coming from.
I open the door and look down the hallway to the right and i could tell the sound was coming for the jukebox.
My good mood was fading out as well because i was thinking that some of my guys or gals has'nt listened to my
speach yesterday.

I recalled my very own words...' "8:00 am sharp! Pack your heaters and show up sobber you hear?
This comes from over my very own head... the godfather himself, so dont screw it up! The shipment is due
at 8:30 and we will be there at the docks to collect what is ours."

'Yes, i knew it... this morning i was in my prime, i knew that if i pulled this one off it was the beginning
of something big. Bigger than i could even imagine... but hey, shit happens right?
Well... after telling them about the shipment i also added...'

"If after this, the cops asks you too many questions, just say that they can come to me if they want to.
Yeah, i got your backs people."

'Yeah... i got their backs... unless i step into their fucking vomit. I was thinking as i started to walk down the hall.
As i approached the door leading to the jukebox room the music was getting louder. And also, my blood pressure...
damn, what does it take to get through their thick heads. What i saw when i opened that door, that door... whatever
happened in my mind right then, i have no clue. The second i saw what was dangling from the disco ball i started racing
towards it.

Once i got there i set the chair under it back on its feet and quickly climbed upon it. Grabbing the corpse
from under the belt i tried to lift it. Hearing the footsteps as someone was entering the headquarters i started to scream.
The smell of the body was so intense i could almost taste it. I started to scream out for help...'

"POP-CORNNNNN... GET DOWN HERE QUICK!!!" 'I then heard the foosteps start to accelerate at a quick pace.' "HURRY DAMNIT!!!!" 'After the second yell, Popcorn
was racing towards me. As he saw where i was he hurried up the chair grabbing my suit to climbed up. He already had his stilleto
in hand and was cutting at the rope around the dead man's neck.

As the rope gave, both men and the corpse heavily dropped to the floor. I hurt my arm on that fall but that did'nt stop me
from grabbing my dead Don's suit and trying to shake the life back into him. I tried slapping him a few times but of course
that did'nt work. I realised i was acting like a dumbass and sat on the floor with both legs spread on each side.
I shaked my head looking down and started to weep. I could'nt believe it, i did'nt want to believe it. I was in shock! I looked
up at Popcorn with a confused look... he just shook his own head and shrugged. None of us had a clue why he would do this to himself.

I started grabbing my chest, i felt my heart was beating too hard it was hurting me. I started blaming myself... blaming myself
for not beeing sharp enough. Not beeing able to forsee this from happening. I stood up and looked at the corpse again, i suddenly
picked up the chair with both hands and violently through it accross the dance floor. I went to the bar and swepped the glasses with my cane.
I kicked a few stools knocking them to the floor and jumped over the counter.
I took the cash register and threw it as well... all the coins inside ejected out of their compartments and register parts flew out.
I started to cry out...'

"Why?... why me?... what have i done? I fed you, clothed you and threated you as my very own son.
And yet you repay me by doing... this."

'As happy as i was getting to my office this morning as lonely i felt right at that moment. That moment, when the anger faded out
and depression was setting in. Yeah, i was depressed and never felt so lonely in my entire life.
I have a big family, my HQ is full of great members... but, i felt very lonely despite this. My world was crumbling down in my mind.'

Vigilant snapped the diary book closing it and looked upon the crowd. He knew, after reading this... exactly what to do.
He will honor his grandfather and will not put anyone through what his grandfather went through on that day.

It must have been a tough moment for your grandfather. It seems he loved this Don very much... Were you or was he ever able to find out what made such an important member of his family take his own life?

No notes were left behind from what i read from the diary. I know my father or myself was never contacted. But this is more about what my grandfather felt at the time, i figured maybe some people dont realize what impact this has on a leader. Well, a carring leader like my grandfather was. He loved everyone of his members, not just that Don in particular. Everything he done or said to them was for the better of his family. Security was his priority, this story is not to point out who did what. This is more about what i have learned from my grandfathers diary and how i will act as a mobster. This is about my own futur, but sharing is never a bad idea right?

Indeed not. By sharing we can learn from other people's experiences...

So what have you learned from this story? I know we could all take a lesson from here, but maybe some people will learn they should not be so attached to their members because there will always be some disrespectful brat that will slap you in the face and commit suicide or maybe the lesson is to earn the signs better...

I don't know, what is your lesson here?

Well, my grandfathers lesson and my own are two different things. But i will learn from what he learned. He learned that trust is never absolute, always be on your guard when you open up your own heart. He was a loving man, maybe a little too much but oh well... can one really learn not to love as much? I am not so sure... so, hard to say really.

And what i learn as a young mobster reading diaries and listening to my own leaders. I learned that if i am to be faithful to a leader and a city, i will go all the way. And like i said, i will die from the barrel of a gun. I will stand for who i am and what i believe in. And listen to my leaders because they have provided me shelter, fed me and bought these fancy clothes. As i repeat myself, but the next descent thing to do... If i ever disagree with them to the point of no return, i will simply ask them to shoot me. It is the least i could do for them.

That is what i have learned from the diary! I am quite honored to be working in the city of New York and i am glad that you are here as well Aidan. I know our bloodlines has been through a lot, but they were never far away at heart.