Good Philly Friday - This week I bring to you a publication I intend to produce every Friday. I simply call it, Philly Funny. It will cover whatever I want and will tend to do so in my own sense of humor, even if the topic isn’t especially funny or even enjoyable.

I have the personal approval of @SlimRagnarok and he wants all blowback and negative responses to be addressed to him, personally.

Ambushes

@DarwinRoss 

Q: What do people know you as? 

• DarwinRoss, "I don’t know - what do you mean? WHAT THE FUCK is going on? What are you doing?"

To our readers - I ambushed him in the bathroom with a camera. I’m taking bids on the resulting photos. 

Rock - Paper - Scissors

Round 1:

Darwin- Rock

Spike- Rock, cuz I rock the mic

Round 2:

Darwin- Rock, always rock

Spike- What was the result of round 1?

(Neither participant was told they were playing a game or that it had an opponent.)

There you have it folks.

Stolen joke of the week

Me: Can I have a turn in the hedge?

Hedgehog: No

Interviews 

@Dean-Winchester

Q: You recently lost your HQ and the much more qualified Geralt has stepped up. I have a two part question for you. What happened and how much didn’t your parents love you as a child?

Dean-Winchester, "Grimes left a coffee pot on and it burned down…but I don’t really want people to know the truth so just say that our namesake, The Pyromaniacs, held true and we burned it down just to watch it go. And nah, they didn’t love me.

Spicoli, "Expected. Double fuck Dean-Winchester"

@TonyTheTailor

Q: You recently left NY and set up in Philly. Which is better?

(Editors note: He seriously rambled about how great both cities are and ended by complimenting each for their unique personalities. Such a political answer, I’ll save you from it. Instead enjoy this edited but true response I concocted.)

TonyTheTailor, "Philly…strong…DarwinRoss…motherfucker…pickpocket without blinking. Who does that. Philadelphia people apparently."

Q: Why is BigEasy so much better than Natasha?

TonyTheTailor, "When I was in New York we brought in a whole team of independent auditors, proper clipboard wielding types, and they confirmed that Natasha was the strongest RH in the entire world. I am still waiting for the Philly audit but what I can say already is that BigEasy and Natasha are both absolute monsters in the best possible way. Comparing the two is like comparing a hurricane to a tornado. Yes they will both flatten the building but with slightly different sound effects."

Q: What is the Gulag? Why should everyday mobsters embrace the gulag?

TonyTheTailor, "The Gulag actually began completely by accident. I pushed one button, maybe two, and suddenly a whole movement appeared out of nowhere like a drunk uncle at a wedding. Since then it has grown and grown and the amount of engagement and fun from everyone taking part has created its own little community. We have had some backlash sure but our view is pretty simple. Anyone who takes part has chosen to jump in and once you jump in you join a very exclusive club."

@Ghostof2011

Q: The person who last held your position went rogue. Do you intend to keep tradition?

Ghostof2011, "I think my statement in the streets speaks for itself on that one. But just to clarify. No. I'm tied to Slim and would do anything to protect the man. And in some unforeseen event that he has another hand. I would hope that they don't let that become a tradition either."

Philly Deaths

CutieSpikeS - 1 eulogy from Shane_Stetson but no words were spoken…so no eulogy??

SuperCutieSpikeS - no eulogies

LeftRight (Retired) - no eulogies 

NightEagleNL (Dishonorable Discharge) - No eulogies

Spikey - no eulogies