Milk steps out of the corner bar in South Philly in a Santa suit wearing his 3 ushanka's and  a fake beard that doesn't look as good as Tussyy 

He had just spent the last several hours swearing while he struggled to set the bar up with decorations.  The Christmas tree is somewhat lopsided, the star on top is crooked and he has haphazardly strung up some Christmas lights with some dead bulbs.  Soviet Christmas lights  aren't of the highest quality. 

Comrades, nonrades and cold ears... Listen up.  We have seen an uptick in interest in earring a ushanka.  We like that.  We have seen many acts of bravery and idiocy... I may be apart of the idiot statistic

but I digress.  

As a result of several members trying to earn their ushanka, and to those that already have.  

The Comrades of South Philly will be hosting a Christmas Party and ushanka crowning.  

There will be dinner and drinks served free of cost to any comrade or cold ears that shows up.  Along with a real SANTA that your children or you can take photos with.  

We just ask that you bring a sentimental ornament for The Comrade Christmas Tree, with an explanation as to why it is important to you.

IN ADDITION:

I will be holding a contest for the best ugly Christmas sweater you can come up with...

If you are already a Comrade: the best ugly suit with a ushanka will win

1st Place: $2,000,000

2nd Place: $1,000,000

3rd Place: $500,000

For the Cold Ears (nerds):

1st Place: $2,000,000

2nd Place: $1,000,000

3rd Place: Get fucked, I am not made of money

For those wishing to enter, Make your presence known and have a drink

I am also offering $500,000 to the best (worst) sweater

all voting will be done by those that have a ushanka.

bribery isn't frowned upon or forbidden.

we are gangsters.

prizes will be awarded on 12/25 @ 5pm MST

If anyone has ideas for more contests send a message to ComradeMilkov@comrade.co.uk (fucking TonyTheTailor)

but seriously, just MM me.

There also shall be a secret Santa exchange as well.

 Surprise someone with a good perk, surprise them with a shitty one.  I know some of you are like Santa and some of you identify more with being the Grinch.  Roll the dice.  (if there is enough interest we can do it on Christmas Day or whenever the most folks are available between crime sprees and sitting down with their family)

Santa will be there and (not..) sneaking in your windows. So make sure to bring yo wife, bring yo kids, and bring yo husband so we can ransack your houses.

I mean so Santa can bring your presents...

So bring your family, bring your friends, bring someone you hate, or even bring your goomar.  All are welcome to the Comrade Christmas Party

Milk take a look at the snow covered streets takes a big swig of tequila, adjusts his fake beard, and puts his Santa hat on and goes inside to take his position behind the bar to prepare for the crowd to pour in.  

Shit he thinks:  did I even hire a Santa?.... oh no, am I going to be Santa?  no, no I didn't. So Milk considers his options:

TonyTheTailor he thinks: no, that won't work.  Santa isn't a ginger.

Octavius maybe: no, he frightens the children (and me)

OdinProtsent definitely: no, I don't think he would be believable with a fake beard

In a fit of expletives he realizes his error.

Fuck it, it is too late now,  Comrade Milkov will have to be Santa.

The Comrades look forward to seeing you at our party.

and as always: FOR THE MOTHERLAND!

I hope my suit is SUITable enough for you.. ha get it because suit? Nevermind. Anyway, I'll be drinking my glass of Milk and eating cookies, don't forget the Hot Cocoa!

milk stumbles out of the bar after celebrating in sever timezones.

This is going to be the last chance for any and everyone to enter.... I am a man of my word and will honor the prizes.

So enter now or forever regret not getting a nice little hand out on Christmas Day.  

whatever, if WhiteRabbit is the only one to enter, he will be awarded all of the prizes since there will be no actual voting.