We skipped a week. Send us all of your holiday stories and we’ll publish them. If they are super juicy I’ll consider a small payment. A person mentioned potential interest in answering questions sent in by readers. If this is something that needs to happen, start sending in questions and a qualified person will respond in the paper. 

Philly Funny 

Curious case of Pogacar

There was a murder. One in which involved a Philly member so here we are, interested in the W’s - Who, What, Why, When, Where, and Witness statements. A 100 credit reward was issued as well as multiple cash values for the witness statement or statements to give a lead on what happened to Pogacar. The victim in question died on the early morning of Christmas, Dec 25th. Everyone was likely still asleep or busy with the children, everyone knows how early they wake up for those gifts. His last known location was Philly, district unknown. As of the time of this publication no accountable witnesses have come forward…there were rumors that a person did come forward with a witness statement but that it was faked. We reached out to possible culprits but no one took responsibility. 

Part Deuce

Are people disappearing in Philly or is there a murderer on the loose? Multiple conspiracies are floating around. If anyone has any information please reach out.

Who Owns the Philly Casino?

Many Philly mobsters spend hours lost in slots and blackjack, spending their hard earned purse money for the slightest hope of hitting it big. During their time one thing has become a mystery…who owns the casino? Covered in mystery and shadow, the owner has never come forward. Bribes have been attempted. If you or a loved one has suffered from mesothelioma or knows who owns the casino, please contact us. 

Did Tony Actually?!?!?

The question: Did Tony actually complete the Gulag? 

It has come to my attention that the participants of The Gulag expect there to be seven shots survived. I do not know if it requires seven shots survived or not. What I do know? That Tony DID NOT! survive seven shots from corrupt agents. Should he turn in his ushanka and suffer the cold ears like the rest of us? Many say yes. What do you think? Let us know. 

Gulag Survivor

One thing about surviving The Gulag that I do know about, Dean-Winchester has recently entered, competed, and survived all seven shots from The Gulag. When we reached out about why someone of his status would participate he responded promptly, “I did it to earn the right to claim a headquarters again, with honor.”

What Are Cats Capable Of?

We are currently seeking information about what cats are capable of. Any individuals with veterinary skills please contact us, we will pay for your time and services. We are mainly interested in the capabilities of cats. We’ve recently had some unexpected statements involving cats doing what appear to us as impossible tasks. After some heated arguments we’ve come to the conclusion that none of us are qualified to say what a cat can or cannot do. Therefore, we may need your help. Let us know what your cats have done that seem impossible. 

Any readers wishing to answer or respond but wanting to remain anonymous, please send a mobmail stating you wish to remain anonymous.

Damn, it's been like 4 months? maybe 5? Even 6? Since Darwin couldn't find out who owned the Philadelphia casino. I always assumed whoever owned it came forward privately but it seems Philly still has a sneaky sarah!

As for Dean doing the gulag? I still think it is ridiculous that people willingly get shot at and hope they're not killed by the inaccurate but sometimes fatal fire by the infamously bad FBN, but it would seem some people love the thrill and the risk of it all, and I really do applaud you all for doing it.. But I do think of those who didn't make it.

I unfortunately was on Discord Street with Tony when he mistakenly shot an officer of the law. The poor man was standing right in front of him as he cleaned his gun and then died, was it really Tony's fault?

And as for cats? I'M SOMEWHAT OF AN EXPERT. Please do send me any question or concerns regarding felines, I'm kind of an animal myself.

as a 3 star ushanka earner and 1 star accidental gulag survivor, you do not need to survive the seven shots to earn your hat.  

there are some pretentious comrades among us *cough* Octavius *cough* think that is doesn't count if you don't survive all 7.... however, some of us are sneakier than others.  

there shall be no judgement by the comrades for how many shots you survive.  

with that being said, anyone who wishes to enter the gulag, reach out to us.  we just got a fresh batch of ushanka's from the motherland and they will keep your ears warm for all times.