Around 80 days ago, I was forced into a life of crime and away from my intended pursuit of starting a bird sanctuary. It is a painful irony that I now head an organisation started by an infamous swan-hater, but we must play the hands we are dealt and my rather uneventful rise from obscurity to Prince Regent was necessary. During those early days, well, not a lot happened worth reporting to be honest.

The turbid waters of Detroit remained relatively calm as a period of prosperity settled across the country. Even Corktown, once a barren wasteland where peasants scratched out a living under the bootheel of despicable Monarch, handing over their pennies and their pitiful take from withered crops, destitute and hungry, became....well it is still a barren wasteland but at least Monarch is gone. That's something.

Nearer to home, mighty Bricktown, thriving heart of the Cosa Nostra, despite being a haven of near fatal beatdowns and continually successful trucking depots raids (something Drieza knows absolutely nothing about), has been peacefully flourishing. The FBN afford us their authority to push enough weight to make beluga seem more like Mars rather than Jupiter. The guards of the local jail are so lax, 20 of them barely even see us coming as we boost prisoner after prisoner in a train that would bring a proud tear to even old Mrs EIkmilk's eye. 

Times have been good and I think it is the perfect opportunity to celebrate some of these success stories, with two in particular coming to mind. Firstly, I was promoted to Don at the earliest opportunity available. Many of you dropped by to congratulate me upon this feat and your hearty "well dones" really have motivated me into continuing being everyone's favourite Don. However, one person was not quite so confident in my ability, with chatter like this being common in the HQ bar:

twigs: I'm willing to bet 10c that Si will fail to min-time don

twigs: Any takers?

Could this be construed as twigs' own brand of encouragement or a genuine desire to see me fail? Anyone who knows twigs, and as many of you believe him to be a girl (including his recent hitlister), I'm guessing this is a small number, will be able to draw their own conclusion. I chose to take it like a snowball fight challenge from TonyTheTailor and run with it, scrunch it up into a little ball and throw it into the bin of his own HQ together with his family photos and other cherished memories, casually brushed off his desk in a heap, so I could eat my Chinese food without a plate and wipe my hands on his favourite jacket afterwards. Well done to me around 40 days ago.

The second, main and more recent victory I would like to celebrate, came at the hands of xXArtiomXx, proud mentor of Oceanic and Detroit veteran. xXArtiomXx recently completed 365 days in the business. During this time he has earned Swanfree Swansong (LittleSi tenure) a little over two million big ones and just over a quarter of a million during the dark days of SimonTheSwanHunter. 180 days of sponsorship and a cool $2,250,000 in cold, hard cash given to his bosses in exchange. A little over $12,000 per day. This is the type of loyalty and contribution you just can't buy. Did he take a day off to celebrate? Did he use any of the good silverware we boosted from The Comrades for his birthday cake? No. He just pinned a message to the HQ wall and went about his business of earning me around $12,000 just like every other day:

xXArtiomXx: 1 year....gz

gz, indeed.

We've been through a lot together, xXArtiomXx and I. I knew about him due to the journals SimonTheSwanHunter kept about his prized asset, including how they first met:

To: xXArtiomXx
From: SimonTheSwanHunter
Sent: Jul 15
Subject: crew

I like your moxie in not answering me twice. You're in. 

To: SimonTheSwanHunter
From: xXArtiomXx
Sent: Jul 15
Subject: crew

ye you got just 3 slots

To: xXArtiomXx
From: SimonTheSwanHunter
Sent: Jul 15
Subject: crew

I'll need a stronger position on swans, please. Clue: dislike is a good choice.

To: SimonTheSwanHunter
From: xXArtiomXx
Sent: Jul 15,
Subject: crew

ok, the war ent?

To: xXArtiomXx
From: SimonTheSwanHunter
Sent: Jul 15
Subject: crew

Sure, how do you feel about swans?

To: SimonTheSwanHunter
From: xXArtiomXx
Sent: Jul 15
Subject: crew

may you invite to your crew?

There was that time where he stood up to evil Simon when he was told to get earning and instead took a payday:

To: SimonTheSwanHunter
From: xXArtiomXx
Sent: Aug 23
Subject:

sure, have i to claim payday too? bcause ive readed the thread and many ppl get payday.

To: xXArtiomXx
From: SimonTheSwanHunter
Sent: Aug 22
Subject:

Hope you're going to get out there and make me some money today, Arty. Spaces aren't free you know 

 And then my own experiences, like when he told me unprompted how much he loved being in the crew:

To: LittleSi
From: xXArtiomXx
Sent: Nov 19
Subject:

like theme^^

To: xXArtiomXx
From: LittleSi
Sent: Nov 19
Subject:

If you had to say, what would you say you like most about being here?

To: LittleSi
From: xXArtiomXx
Sent: Nov 18
Subject:

sure is very good

nice season xD

To: xXArtiomXx
From: LittleSi
Sent: Nov 18
Subject:

Would you say that it is the best one you've ever been part of?

To: LittleSi
From: xXArtiomXx
Sent: Nov 18, '25 16:45
Subject:

sure nice gang like at start [REDACTED] ^^

To: xXArtiomXx
From: LittleSi
Sent: Nov 18, '25 16:17
Subject:

Do you feel like part of the family?

To: LittleSi
From: xXArtiomXx
Sent: Nov 18
Subject:

fine thx

To: xXArtiomXx
From: LittleSi
Sent: Nov 18
Subject:

Hey, xXArtiomXx. How is it going?

Or when I sent him $300 and he returned it, only to surprise me with a $1,000,000 donation for no reason at all:

To: LittleSi
From: xXArtiomXx
Sent: Dec 10
Subject: xD

dont know the propertys are fine..

To: xXArtiomXx
From: LittleSi
Sent: Dec 10
Subject: xD

Wow, thanks, Arty. 

What should I spend it on do you think?

To: LittleSi
From: xXArtiomXx
Sent: Dec 10
Subject: xD

re, ive sent u a million

was in buying a property then, allready bought one.

good luck

To: xXArtiomXx
From: LittleSi
Sent: Nov 25
Subject: xD

Good job, Artiom. I'm thinking of promoting you to Capo

To: LittleSi
From: xXArtiomXx
Sent: Nov 25
Subject: xD

thx sent u 300$ back ^^

He was right. Properties are fine. And now the tables have turned and I have the chance to be generous. What should I do to both reward my oldest Capo and treasured friend on this monumental achievement of completing a full year in the business? A man who has earned me over $2,000,000. A stalwart of the Swanfree Swansong organization. A lynchpin in my operation. 

Your accountant makes note that $50,000,000 has been wired to xXArtiomXx from your account. The note "gz" was included.

What else could he deserve? 

gz, xXArtiom. gz.

Without wanting to side with twigs on this one, you shot through approximately $40m worth of our forts to win a 10c bet…I hope he paid up

But what a heart warming tale you share of @xXArtorimXx. Earnings that embarrass this Corktown Don for one. And such a generous gift, they’d better watch their pockets in Corktown though - that’s a mugging that I’d wear with more pride than my first ever mugging of your late swan hating father!

I'm a firm believer in the ends justifying the means, BuddyBigPaw. Did I min-time Don? Yes. That's all that anyone cares about in this story. Nobody remembers whether or not TheNewGuy was left footing a substantial bill and whether or not that resulted in further forced labour for the already broken citizens of Corktown. Irrelevant details. Just take my victory at face value please. 

And no, I'm still waiting for his 10 credits. 

I think it's so cool you've done this, LittleSi, but also that you've managed to wrangle Eala into promising Artiom another 15 million out of his own pocket as well, and yet another 6 million from RebusDupeoUlricMusic's personal fund. 71 million dollars! The generosity of you three is something to be admired. Congratulations xXArtiomXx. You are older and wiser than many of us could ever hope to be. 

Rebus listens along with the others, nodding his head as each and every Detroit member praises the accomplishments of xXArtiomXx and gleefully parts with their hard-earned cash to reward him...

"That is correct, TextBasedMafiaRPGMan! I am more than happy to donate my share to commemorate this occasion. Just let me check my financial ledger to see where I have the cash stored..."

Earnings: $9,186,145

"It appears that my share of the commemorative award is currently sitting in LittleSi's bank account. I hope he will do the right thing and forward it to its rightful recipient."

Eala (Much Like Iron Mike Tyson, GRHS) was having a day.

First came the revelation that Twigs was not, in fact, a woman a fact that hit her with a similar level of power as EIkmilk’s snowballs. The three consecutive boxing losses probably hadn’t helped. Her brain felt like it was trying to reboot with a broken typewriter.

And just as she’d started to regain focus, newly made, made man TextBasedMafiaRPGMan handed her the invoice: fifteen million smackeroos. To Artiom. The mug city menace. The 365 gz guy.

She stared at the number for a while, hoping it would change if she blinked hard enough. It didn’t.

With the weary dignity of someone who has recently been threatened with becoming an envoy to Corktown (Shudder), Eala reviewed her own financials.

Much like the good and noble Rebus, she had opened her ledger. After some light pencil chewing and one incorrect use of a calculator (Supplied by some New York Nerd), she reached her conclusion, If she survived for another 200 days collecting her payday every single one of those days, which of course she would, because what else was she going to do, then she’d finally have the funds.

At which point, she would joyfully yeet the entire sum directly into Artiom’s wallet and return to eating Knotweed soup in a broken office chair like a proper mobster.

She scribbled a note to herself:

“Stay alive. Avoid further boxing. Send Artiom his blood money. Find out if twigs is really a swan”

What a day.