Before I get to the matter at hand I do want to take a moment to honor the fallen. May they be resting in peace. 

As a direct result of recent activities, today I had to perform my duties with a heavy heart. Couple that with the physical stress is more than I want to handle. I don't mind the normal everyday garbage cleanup. Although, I did come across some unusual trash today. I have it in a sealed container. We no longer need just a garbage company.

We will get back to the container!

I come before you as I am in need of two CEO's. One CEO must be proficient in the Sanitation Industry. You must work closely with the Board of Peace. Peace and cleanliness go hand in hand.

I am looking for another CEO to head the investigative Department. Needless to say this position would require a blend of expertise skills. The first job is in this sealed container. 

The contents of the container will not be revealed just yet. All I can tell you at this time it does not belong to any of the fallen. 

There is no need to apologize or even excuse myself for this tardy update. You know why? Not only did you all let me bust my ass cleaning up around here but not one stepped up to be a part of my what would have been thee most prestigious boards. There was an interest in the sealed container. And I will get back to that sealed container another time. In the meanwhile, just think about what a terrible loss this is to our community. 

Effective immediately I am no longer cleaning up the trash thrown about our streets. Someone else can pick up the trash and good luck with those urine stench alleys. You are going to miss my outstanding services to this community. I kept these streets clean! 

I would like to announce that I am taking over as the sole ruler of the Sanitation and Investigation Board. There will be no other CEOs or any of that nonsense. We need stern leadership, strong leadership. Leadership that smells like pan-fried breaded swan-breast, leadership that makes a nice "crunch" when you cut into it with your knife. Leadership that goes well with a good jagersauce and some mushrooms.

Thank you for being the interim manager TheGarbageTruck but we will no longer require your services or mystery container. That was probably a pyramid scheme of sorts anyways and I will not have my organisation known to be a source of fraudulent activity.

I am happy we were able to work out a takeover deal. Thank you for your cooperation. God Bless. I support England.

Smokes a fat cigar and plays Betty Boop records

I have to say this is a very pleasing development. I had been very concerned over the future and integrity of this Board given it had landed with all the grace of a fart in church. With so many Boards around, and some of those involving people of ill repute like TextBasedMafiaRPGMan, it was hard to know which could be trusted and which could not. Personally, I think self-appointing a new scandal-free CEO, with only one known, high profile, intentional slaying on his record is definitely a step in the right direction. I know my good friend, twigs, would agree with me. Except he can't because SwanSchnitzelSupreme shot him like a disrespectful mourner at a funeral who had 16 cops on his payroll. 

Congrats, SSS. The future of Sanitation and Investigation Board looks bright indeed. 

Who took a dookie and didn’t flush? It’s a whole damn log here, I might have to lower my review rating down a star.

Chaotic and dirty puts me out of the running for one of the positions and the other would not suit me as I am claustrophobic so investigating sealed containers would be quite umpleasant 

After my father's demise, I was informed by a lawyer wearing a goofy tie that I am to become the new Sanitation and Investigation Benevolent Dictator for Life. I asked him what perks I would get out of accepting this job and he gave me a very long-winded answer with a lot of long and complicated words which I did not understand.

Unlike my father I have no interest in leading this organisation. I was born to ride a mighty steed, not to read or to lead.

TheGarbageTruck I am willing to sell the ownership rights of this organisation to you for the small sum of 3 million dollars. No haggling.

SwanSouffleSupreme I have wired you three million dollars. I cannot even give this organization away. I'll come up with a new plan.