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| Murder most foul(ish) - Part I | Started by: DrBunsenHoneydew on Jul 23, '08 16:46 |
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The scene was set on a typical chilly English night. The smog was descending from the skies, people were piling into the public houses and the echoing sounds of the Peelers whistles were in the far distance. But in the middle of this seemingly dreary setting was a detective, and his slightly dimwitted sidekick. Down a dark alley, past the whore house, through the church graveyard, then a left at the monument, first right, second left, complete u-turn, take the second right, and past the pile of dead cats, was the street that housed the famous duo. At 12b Faker Street, there were two residents. One was a tall, masculine, slightly rugged man who went by the name of Dr Bunsen Bolmes. The other resident was Dr Bolmes sidekick, Inspector Beaker. Inspector Beaker was not blessed with Bolmes good looks, charm, height or brains. Instead the man walked with a slight limp, and because of the mans severe lack of height, struggled to see past the window ledge. As it was mentioned earlier on, this duo were indeed famous for their work, but for all the wrong reasons. Since the two had decided to open a detective agency twelve years ago, only one case has ever been solved. And this case was only solved because a note was next to the slightly decomposed body stating that the poor soul couldn't live on in the slums of London anymore. So this was a success rate of one out of two hundred and thirty eight cases. Probably not a record anyone would be boosting around a public house, but nevertheless, the duo carried on with their work oblivious to all the nick names they have acquired within the years. "Bumbling Bolmes and his energetic eejit", and "Shit heads" were a few of the nicer nicknames thrown across London Inside the house, Dr Bolmes was sat at the leather armchair in the corner, smoking his pipe with his head in the clouds, and dimwitted Beaker was drawing stick men and stick animals on his kid sized blackboard whilst softly meeping to himself. The quiet moment was interrupted when Bolmes sucked too hard on his pipe and accidentally swallowed it. "Hyuck......haaaaack.......oh God.....ckkkk" Bolmes choked. "If you weren't drawing so loudly, this would have never happened Beaker!" Bolmes bellowed. Not really understanding what was going on, Beaker smiled, softly murmured a few meeps and went back to his stick animals. Whilst Bolmes was busy picking a new pipe from his cupboard, a girlish, womanly screamed was let out. "What, what, what?!?!? Whats going on? Who's there?" Bolmes questioned. Beaker looked around slightly confused, and looked at the window. He jumped up and heroically dashed to the window to see what was happening. BANG! Once again, Beaker had forgotten that he was as tall as a ten year old. With several rubs of the head and confused meeps, Beaker sprung to action. Like a dog on heat, Beaker left the room in search of materials to use as a step up to the window ledge. After several banging and ripped wall paper noises, Beaker returns with a stuffed chicken in hand. After placing the chicken down on the floor and sliding off a few times, Beaker finally reached the window ledge and peered out of the fragile window pane. "Meep! Meep, meep.Meep! MEEP MEEP!!" Beaker screamed. "Theres a dead man on the street you say?!" Beaker nodded furiously. "Grab your coat, chalk, magnifying glass and pocket watch Beaker, there's murder afoot!" Dr Bolmes waited as Beaker seemed to wonder around in circles. After slapping his head in frustration, Bolmes pointed to each item so Beaker would recognise them and put them in his satchel. As the duo ran out of the house, the figure sprawled out on the road became more visible. Sliding their feet in the snow, the detective duo stopped at the body. As Bolmes knelt down by the body, Beaker had the magnifying glass out of his satchel and was on the trail for any possible clues. Slowly scratching his chin and silently talking to himself, Bolmes came to the conclusion that this being was stabbed in the back.....Bolmes pulled the knife out and put it by the side of the body. "Judging from the foul odour and body, this could only be one person Beaker." Beaker turned around, magnifying glass to his eye, shrugged his shoulders and meeped. "Who we have, or rather, what we have here is Revan McDooley! A well known criminal on the run for several accounts of indecent exposure! But what is he doing here??" Bolmes questioned. After it became quite apparent that what he just said did not sink into Beakers thick skull, Bolmes shook his head and stood up. After pacing up and down besides the dead body, Bolmes looked intensely at a foot print in the snow. Kneeling down, he removed his magnifying glass from his pocket and carefully examined the foot print. CRRRRRAAAAAACK, THUD "MEEEEEEEEEP!" Beaker had just fallen out of the tree. Bolmes turned around to see Beaker with a slightly bruised ego, dusting himself off and now learning from his mistakes, examining the bottom of the tree. With a vigorous shake of the head, Bolmes turned back to the foot print. As Bolmes was looking closely at the footstep, something caught his eye. A single feather sticking up in the snow, just before the alleyway. As Bolmes walked up to the feather, he noticed a strand of blonde hair beside it. Whilst he grabbed at the stray feather, his nasal receptors picked up a almost serene scent. Bolmes was staring at the strand of hair and perfect feather and it suddenly clicked. The long strand of blonde hair most likely came from a females head. The serene scent was that of a form of perfume. And with the long white feather it could only mean one thing... "A burlesque house" Bolmes muttered. "Whoever these items belong to must have worked at or been to a burlesque house recently. But the only one around here is four miles away. Does this mean that the person had an accomplice? Or was there a horse and carriage present?! Beaker?!" Dr Bolmes turned around to see Beaker staring at the body. Beaker had some how managed to turn the body over onto its front and was now staring the corpse out. A few joyous meeps and a happy jig later, Bolmes called Beaker over. "Beaker, I think we are onto something big! Take a look at this feather and strand of hair and tell me what you think." Beaker stared at the two clues and looked back at Bolmes. It became apparent that Beaker did not have the foggiest what Bolmes was on about and shrugged his shoulders. "Well my dear Inspector, I have reason to believe that these clues belonged to a working class girl." Beaker again, stared blankly at Bolmes. Starting to get slightly frustrated, Bolmes was reduced to demonstrating what he meant by 'working class girl'. With a now, slightly red Beaker, Bolmes realised that he understood what he meant. "You know what this means don't you Beaker? We have to go to the nearest burlesque house!" "Meep meep meep!" Beaker replied. "Yes th......how do you know about that place??" Bolmes questioned. Beaker pretended not to hear Bolmes's question and pointed in the direction of the burlesque house. The duo started to walk down the alley way into the ever invading darkness of the night, not realising the danger and shocks that waited ahead.... Part II due next Wednesday! |
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| Haha excellent story. Can't wait for the next part. :) | |
| Reply by: Zish at Jul 23, '08 23:57 | |
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| Ahhh what a most delightful read! I really look forward to next weeks edition! Keep up the good work. | |
| Reply by: DrFeelgood at Jul 24, '08 01:56 | |
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| Good read sir, as always:) | |
| Reply by: Zulo at Jul 24, '08 04:14 | |
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Heh. Scorch re-reads the fine piece of scholarly work that has been constructed by the renowned Doctor B Honeydew. Interesting occurences here my dear Bunsen, when will the next set of occurences be taking place?? I would be very interested to read them! :) |
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| Reply by: Scorch at Jul 24, '08 18:45 | |
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| Really good story. Cant wait to see your next one. | |
| Reply by: EricCartman at Jul 24, '08 20:15 | |
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| You know, I think I've run into that Revan character before as well. It will be interesting to see what kind of trouble they can get into in the next chapter! | |
| Reply by: Boom_Shakalaka at Jul 24, '08 20:45 | |
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