The secret wires and telegrams had served their purpose. Dick figured, "Why bother hiding it at this point? There's literally no opposition, other than the old, bloated sheep fucker, himself, I suppose". 

The timing was perfect. The target would be in Chicago for a few days for some book club nonsense. The old Community Center at the end of the the Vegas Strip was large enough to accommodate all interested parties and would make the perfect venue to put the final pieces together. Dick motioned towards a couple boys to set up some folding tables, chairs, and some coffee with Styrofoam cups...

Familiar faces began to filter in. Everyone was smiling. Hope and magic filled the air. Once all the seats were full, Dick began to speak from the front of a cheap podium...

"First of all, a HUGE thank-you to Cass Bakery for supplying the coffee and donuts free of charge! Please do not take more than one donut, so that we can make sure everyone gets one. Also, if there are any new members, please add your name to the sign-in sheet and you will be called upon when needed."

"Now then, we all know why we're here. Duchess, could you pass around the sign-in sheet? Mmm hmm, thank you."

"Very well. Let's pick up where we left off."

"Three weeks ago we came to a near unanimous vote of 59-1 that the manner of death would be 'face-stabbing', with TextBasedMafiaRPGMan being the sole vote cast for 'set him on fire'. This vote being well over the 75% necessary to pass a resolution, we moved on to the question of how to dispose of the body.

During our last meeting, I proposed that the manner of disposal would be to pin a stupid note to his forehead, throw him in a casket, defecate in the casket, light it on fire, and push it over a cliff. As of this meeting date, no counter-proposal has been received. Would anyone like to offer a counter-proposal before we put it to a final vote?"

DickDickman peruses the crowd to see if anyone else has an idea they would like to put forward...

Bebe sat, quietly listening, absorbing information and thinking about the matter at hand.

How would any rational, sane person dispose of a body? She questioned herself. Or multiple bodies at that. 

A few more moments passed of her silently thinking before she raised her hand. It took a bit for DickDickman to notice that she had raised her hand, and then he called on her and said, "Yes? You have an idea?"

Nodding slowly, she cleared her throat and said, "Well, we have those fields South of the city where they grow the corn used for that Bourbon all the guys drink. We could stuff the bodies and use them as scarecrows to keep the crows away? 

The 'set him on fire' ticket took an honorable loss. But I'll admit, it was a hard pill to swallow. I thought I made some really good arguments, and I was convinced I had some of you teetering over to my side of the vote, but ultimately peer pressure played too strong of a role. I can accept being the lone ranger of setting Simon on fire. I have been championing the Kill Simon cause for longer than most. I'm just happy we've all finally come around to it.

As for what to do with his body, there are some serious questions we need to address.

What would be written on the note?

Who is in charge of defacing the casket?

Can I at least be the one who lights it on fire?

Should we all push it off the cliff together, forming an unbreakable bond of friendship that will carry us through the rest of our lives?

Alternatively, we could put strings on him and walk him around like a puppet for a few months, mimicking some of his most famous phrases in a high-pitched Simon voice like, 'Do you want to come to my book club?' 

"Ok, so it appears we have three 'manner of death' measures to put to the floor for discussion. For your consideration:

1. Pin a stupid note to his forehead, throw him in a casket, defecate in the casket, set the casket on fire, push it over a cliff.

2. Stuff his body full of invasive weeds and use the rotting corpse as a scarecrow.

3. Still 'set him on fire', but also #1.

In addition to reaching a consensus on 'manner of death', this seems to be the appropriate time to put nominations forward for foreman of each assigned task, as suggested by TextBasedMafiaRPGMan.  It looks like he has already nominated himself to be the torch man, if either Measure #1 or #3 is passed. We will need a volunteer or a nomination for "the defecator". Preferably someone with a lot of fiber in their diet. Finally, I think we should all push the casket over the cliff in unison. I don't see why that should even need to be put to a vote. It's the ultimate final act of defiance.

Final voting for 'manner of death', as well as nominations and volunteers for each job should be put forward at this time. Please do not challenge TextBasedMafiaRPGMan for the job of 'torch man'. Let him have that. It's not too much to ask.

We will have to form a subcommittee to discuss and prepare an appropriately stupid note to pin to the corpse's forehead...

Enricho barges in covered in shit, blood and mud. "I, The Great Enricho, have tangled some pigs. It took longer than needed, but we'll have a feast of ham for our..." Enricho pauses in his steps towards the gathering. He has no clue what's going on and only caught a few words. "A volunteer?! Look no further than The Great Enricho!" Seeing shaking heads and face palms, Enricho who never feels embarrassment ends his intrusion: "The Great Enricho will always volunteer for a good job!"

LonelyWolf by that are you implying he was a better hand than me?

I don't think he's implying it PropertyManager, I think he's flat out saying it.