Ladies and gentlemen, I come here today to give a solution to problems others have had.

Those problems are... crime and unempoyment.

I say...we legalize crime.

I know it seems silly but think about it, if we legalize crime, there will be no more laws broken and no more need for police.

And be legalizing crime, it also gives a job to those who have none.

And remember, vote Sleazy-P-Martini for president

If I wanted the government to take a cut, I'd have a 9 to 5. I like my money pouring in, not trickling.

Organization trumps chaos, think about it for a second.

You do make a good point. However, I still gotta stick to my beliefs on this

President? I have to point out sir, you will need to do something about your hair ;)

Sir, if you want to be "the" President, you'll need to understand the "politics" first. People, people. Meh.

Mr Puregold, I have it on good authority that it is the hair that makes the man.

Sleazy pulls out his comb and gel and begins touching up his hair