“Mama needs a night off.” That was the last thing Michael heard before he zoned out. He stared at the furry arm wrapped around his shoulder. It would take the dry cleaner a week to get the hair off his diamond studded Balenciaga jacket. Maybe he could get the Black Market dealer to buy this mystical talking cat’s hair and turn it into some kind of fuzzy socks. It would be itchy, but it would be designer. Michael snapped back to reality. “So, what brings you here PrincessDonut?”

“This is an outrage! I swear you can be worse than Carl sometimes. Listen up before I paw you into next week. There’s an art museum on Eastern Parkway in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. Gonna hit it in a few hours and we need some extra hands on deck. The score is 500 million.” Michael looked at PrincessDonut as if she was speaking meow language.

“That’s right numb nuts. 500 million. So don’t come there fucking around or be prepared to be the newest citizen of the Hudson River. Everything you’ll need to know is in this. Burn it after you’re done reading it.” PrincessDonut gave Michael a manilla envelope then disappeared into the crowd of staff workers, entourage, and groupies that lingered around after the show, leaving Michael to go sign hundreds of autographs from fans that awaited him. 

Michael arrived at 3:03a.m as instructed. The museum was next to the famed Brooklyn Botanic Garden, and that was how they were going to sneak into the back of the museum without leaving a trace. When he got to the first checkpoint he seen the other 3 members of the organized crime. One was PrincessDonut. The other two? He had no idea. One wore a velour bodysuit with pockets, and a matching balaclava. He seemed to be some sort of cat/chicken hybrid. It was absurd and hurt Michael’s head trying to figure it out. The fourth member was anonymous. They all made their way through the cherry blossom trees and exotic flowers the Botanic Garden had to offer. The hybrid swiftly cut a circle laser with a green beam through the side glass of the museum, allowing the rest of the members to enter. There were four rooms in the secret attic. The blueprint in the manilla envelope mentioned where each member would be going, what the codes to the safes were, and exactly what they were going to take. The plan wasn’t to take everything, but to take the things that couldn’t be reported for whatever reasons. Basically, robbing both Peter AND Paul!

0.6.9.1.3. Click!

The abnormally large vault opened and Michael’s eyes widened with amazement. Emerald. Ruby. Sapphire. Multiple renaissance paintings. There was so much national treasure, but he remembered something. He was here for two things and two things only. Michael loaded the duffle bags with all the cash in the vault, then carefully wrapped The Bust of Nefertiti as instructed. He placed it into its own padded mini duffle before carefully backtracking out of the area. The gang would be meeting back up so they could trade bags. PrincessDonut would carry back all precious stones with her. Hybrid would be carrying all historical artifacts. Nondescript would be carrying all sports memorabilia. Michael would carry back all the cash so he could distribute and make sure everyone got their cut of the cash portion.

PrincessDonut handed Michael some envelopes. “These are for the people that are present.” He shuffled through them. PrincessDonut. CatChicken. HughJanus. Then she handed him two more envelopes. “And make sure you take care of these too.”

Michael looked at the names on the envelope. He didn’t understand why two non participants would be getting a cut. “Who’s Matty and Richard-Harrow ?” A swift paw slapped Michael across his handsome cheek before he could blink after the sentence.

“You fool! Don’t gaslight me, Michael! Richard-Harrow & Matty are some of the most important people in the city. The organized crime was done in Richard’s part of town. He made sure the many cops on his payroll weren’t doing patrol. And everyone knows Matty runs Queens. You have a lot to learn and we don’t have time. This isn’t Sunday school! Make sure those are the fattest envelopes or someone’s foot will go so far up your ass your nipples will turn into toes. The percentages of everyone’s cut is on each envelope. I hope you’re good with math.” And with that being said they all vanished into the night.