I'm Kuku, like @Carlos_Tiscali, my lineage is well-known for an association with the much missed Competitive Writing Community.

The CWC saw some tragedy in its time - who can forget the tragic death of LostBoy and the massive bloodshed that followed?  

KeithKuau not only had a stupid name he had a stupid gun.  He failed to kill me twice, and the newspaper bashing Shaggs, this miscreants boss, didn't even have the good grace to apologise in person to me, or to DetroitSimon.  

Why would my lineage be targeted?  And why by such a no-name-C?  What do I need to know about the Optimus lineage?

My lineage has changed.  The topics I cover demonstrate that.  

So why am I still being used for target practise?

That giant, disproportionate, oversized head makes an easy target.

@Elijah_Yoder - nope, never heard of you.  What's your problem, son?

Problem? I have no problem. I was just listening to you voicing your thoughts. You asked a question, and I offered an answer. You'll have to excuse me if I'm not accustomed to your ways. I did not mean to be offensive. When you walk around looking like a giant lollipop, people are going to joke about it, and some will take it even further. Like the villain Keith Kuau. He couldn't resist the urge to pop that lollipop off its stick, and he paid dearly for it.

Please don't assume I think like that. In my eyes, you are one of God's children and any abnormalities or deformities does not lessen your value in His eyes, so it does not lessen your value in my eyes. May the Lord's blessings be bountiful on your house.

You have got a massive fat head to be fair, Kuku. It's like you're walking around with a watermelon on your done.

I can't believe he tried to kill you twi and failed twi. 

PropertyManager, your boss has instructed me not to insult our allies.  You are disobeying him.  Stop it.

I'm a very handsome man and I'm doing well on FAFO100

I was always one to stand up and shout there is nothing wrong with us. We need to organize a committie in honor of  the squirrels. Afterall, they do possess highly specialized skills like cognitave and spatial awareness.   

I will donate all the 80 millions that the great kuku needs to bring the streets back to order and respect. 

LonelyWolf did you know that Monarch is a tiny little worm who can't handle being challenged by daily newsletters?

Bjorn offered me two hand jobs to clear this debt of 80 million, before i accept i need to know if this is worth it.

You should absolutely never pay more than $25 for a hand job. Eighty million is absolutely out of the question. I don't care if he has a hand like a silk glove and a documentary narrator-style voice to talk you through it. That kind of money will get you a lot more than a simple handshake.

there is something to be said about people who pay for sexual favours, for $80 million id best atleast get a trip around the world.

When we think about $80m one cannot help but recall the number of assailants that attempted to rip-off, murder, or slander members of the Kuku lineage.

One thinks of TheBeast,

Of FrankCastiglia - Frank was the inaugural recipient of a living obituary. 

We think of many members of @Carlo_Tiscali's lineage who spoke words, often angry words, and sometimes fired bullets, at members of the Kuku lineage. 

We think of the tragic comedy that was the Transistor lineage.

We think of RJFuller, and of Blackbeard.

We think of Goku, the shameful wretch of a man.

We think of Monarch, a man so afraid of receiving regular written newsletters that he murdered ArmieHammer.

We think of Clank - from a crowded field, perhaps the man least able to claim even the slightest amount of dignity.  He's lower than Caveman. 

We think of the killer of Louis_T - who slung away and hid.

We remember MacArthur and those who tried to sabotage the Competitive Writing Community.

We think of them all, and of Tetley, and we are left with the inescapable fact: their main claim to fame is how much they despise Kuku

And in the end, I have only Good feelings towards them.

I have only good feelings towards them.

Right after naming nearly twenty people and describing them as murderers, cowards, failures, saboteurs, wretches and human embarrassments.

I'm not an uncomplicated man, Matty, but these are only among the most mendacious blackguards of this thing of ours.