stolls in and sits down in his comefy armchair

Good day to you all

Many of you will have either seen or heard of the TV show on our screens where they trace your blood line back several generations.

Well I'm looking for  Candidates or Guiney Pigs as my production team are referring too, to apply to be on our very own version of "Who Do You Think You Are, This Thing of Ours Special"

I'm looking for people that have a long bloodline and have a good memory as I will need to interview you.

If this interests you, then please send me a mail with a brief outline to your blood line and we can investiage the rest. Obviously there will be some of you that won't want to share too many skeletons in the Family closet but we are looking for it to be as open as you possible can, and will guarantee your safety during the sit down.

Look foward to seeing a full mailbox.

Sweetums (Producer and Director)

Mr.Adams anxiously approaches Sweetums, knowing the words he's about to speak are pretty humiliating

The mind is a curious thing!

The first thing I thought about when you started your speech, is this girl group from across the atlantic...

So, let the abuse commence!

He runs to a back alley, jumps into the first dumpster he sees and dugs down to disguise himself

My dear Mr Adams,

Nothing humiliating with the Spice Girls, we often listen to them in the Crew HQ with out cups of Coco while toasting marshmellows....

But are you interested to become my first victim, erm, I mean guest on our new Exposé ?

Sweetums (Creative Director)

I don't know how well written my family lines memoirs are written but hell why not I may be willing to be the first victim..I mean guest!

have a good memory

Well, that blows me out of the water then! Damn my drug induced youth!

Sweetums,

There's a huge gap in my bloodlines history, and the parts on either end of that gap are like morse code; an uninspiring combination of dots and dashes.

Mr.Adams looks at The_Red_Guardian

There's your first lab rat!

"Damn my drug induced youth!" - Slash

A bloodlines' history including drug abuse, hope and deliverance? A unique story which if telivised will get tremendous viewing figures! You should definatly apply...

Ummm, excuse my ignorance but televised, Spice Girls? I have had many a generation on these shores and have not heard anything about these. But Sweetums, you snugglepuss you, I'd be glad to shake out some skeletons for you anytime, they just may or may not be from my ancestoral closets

Grinning, Poison smooths some of Sweetum's fur and heads back to work

"Ummm, excuse my ignorance but televised, Spice Girls?" - Poison

Let me explain...

There's always been differences of opinion between the old (sicilian) mafia and the new mob. The old mafia likes to keep the original philosophy and structure intact, the new is always looking for the exploitation of new profitable rackets. Selling drugs was frowned upon by many and seen as highly lucrative by some... Look at this world today?!

I reckon myself among those new paisans! Television is the new drugs, it's a lucrative business worth exploiting. You know the first television was made in 1929?

As for those spice(y) girls from the UK?

Mr. Adams whispers

It's a new way of getting fresh blood for our prostitution racket here in the States. I found out, that dressing the girls up as members of a girl swing band, gets them across the atlantic a lot safer.