The date - who cares? The time - who cares? Who cares. Today I tell you a story, the best god damn best story of all time. It has something to do with the Mafia, I think, or at least I have to say that. Truth be told, I have no fucking idea how the mafia comes into play, but what I will tell you is that you will love it. That, or you're an idiot. Not the fun kind of idiot too, that people invite to parties because you'll do dumb things, no, the bad kind; the kind that people are like "Eww. That guy is an idiot, I don't like that guy. Let's not invite him to anything. Lets kick him in the face. Idiot." kind of idiot. Anyways, I digress. You didn't come here to read this, you came here because the title was fucking weird and you wanted to see what the hell is going on. So here we go.

My head is filled with nightmares, nightmares of the past, nightmares that will echo through my lifetime and my children's lifetimes. The kind of nightmare I'll never wake up from. My food is late - again, the people never bring the food on time. What a nightmare. It's 10:30 now. A horn blairs outside, I wonder who it is, but then just like that I no longer care. Melancholy. Nobody understands what's going on and I can't tell them. It would be too confusing, and just like that... boom.

"The house seemingly blew up at 10:32 AM today, a gas leak of some sort cause the explosion the fire department says, reports say there was a man inside the home; nobody else was seen or heard at the scene. More tonight at 11."

I wasn't dead, not yet. There was too much to be done, too much to see and do, I hadn't even fucked for a few months. My life couldn't end like this. I leaped out of the wreckage and just walked away, I'm not even sure why. I didn't go to the hospital or even notice any reason to for that matter, I felt absolutely fine. I walked for a few hours, I felt as if I'd entered another state but I knew it was still the same shitty city I'd lived in all of my life. I couldn't have gone more than half a mile, yet it was dark. Nothing makes any fucking sense. Today was supposed to be my last day and I walked out unscathed. Then I noticed it, it was a bright light for a few moments and then it was dull. I wouldn't have noticed it if I wasn't looking at that specific moment. I walked over and there it was, a quarter, what a pretty quarter. I wonder if I'd ever seen a nicer one but couldn't rightly remember, and then it happened. I died for the second time.

The car swerved down the street and slammed into me, I flew in the air before landing on my feet. Good thing cat's have nine lives.

Then a mobster came out of nowhere and killed a bunch of people. It was pretty crazy, and it makes no sense to the rest of the story, but now it's about the mafia and shit. FIN.

Wow, what a coincidence. The SAME EXACT THING happened to me last week. Except, I really am a cat.