Buddy stands over the fresh corpse of DetroitSimon, trying his best not to inhale its odor. The odor hadn’t changed since he’d died, just that same old stink as ever.

To the side lay Death420. An ambitious young Turk who had never hurt a fly, only to be struck down as he grew into his prime.

What you see before you is just the tip of the iceberg. I have it on good authority that LucaChangretta was simply a diversionary tactic for an attempted removal of the west coast. 

Last night coordinated attacks were also attempted on myself, Keypunch, xLadyfighterx, Mint_Royale, Rouge, Caveman and many more.

These were not the shots of untrained gangsters like PropertyManager, but of Dons and Consigs from New York.

So was this attempted show of strength a careless miscalculation that will have ramifications? Or simply a sign that New York’s guns are more pathetic than we could have ever imagined?

Following a couple of worried messages - I would just like to clarify that this is in jest, and we are not at war with New York.

I'm almost certain BuddyBigPawnch and his allies removed DetroitSimon. It's no surprise Simon's death immediately follows publicly calling out BigPawps. Coincidence? I think not

Henceforth I shall christen you NotBuddy.

I'll never forgive you for killing my Dad.

Thankfully now I'm back in New York with fearless protectors like Norella I'm safe from your brand of 'friendship'

Maybe I did kill your dad, what of it? It would have been his families least pointless death yet. Perhaps by letting his personality go unchecked without medical intervention we all killed BigSi on some level?

But no, instead he was killed by a rogue member of his own family moments after announcing he was done purging. Irony with a big fat capital I.

Good riddance in New York, the west coast properties will manage just fine without you.

What happened was a tragedy. RIP to the great godfather known to put belt to ass, but I can speak on the behalf of New York when I say we were too busy waiting for PropertyManager to leave his property, so we could wack him accordingly. Unfortunately, to no avail. Since no one is going to ask the question I will. Why didn’t DetroitSimon take PropertyManager with him?

Tragic. Tragic indeed.

I agree totally with BuddyBigPaw , Luca Changretta was nothing but a diversion. 

Anyone who knew DetroitSimon knows that he was sustained purely by his love of purging. There was nothing he enjoyed more than the thrill of putting one between the eyes of a hapless wise guy after roughly 45 days of working together. It was the only time I ever saw him smile.

But in his heart of hearts he knew it was wrong and that no amount of purgee blood could ever truly satisfy him. So he came to the streets and gave it up, trusting the community to hold him accountable and sacrificing the one thing he truly loved for the good of us all. 

Without the purge to sustain him he was heartbroken, and his health began to fail immediately, leaving him too weak to fend off even the likes of Luca Changretta.

As to New York's role in all this, I think they’re a good bunch over there, so I can only imagine they were trying to conduct one last purge in DetroitSimon’s honour. It’s what he would have wanted.  
 

I just presumed the co ordinated attacks were pros for the chosen one, although I did spend about $300 billion flying around every city to stay away from anyone searching for a random Phillyan. 

Please send compensation

Some of New York's finest hit men tried their best to end the scourge of swans, but despite their average effort, no one died from said shots.

Next time an outbreak happens, I will send my best and brightest, should they wake up, which is very unlikely.

So.. Everyone is safe, forever.

Wait this was satire?

Upon further review of the evidence,

It appears that Richard-Harrow himself was seen changing out the weapons of New York's most acclaimed hitmen with cans of Febreze to help finally mask the odor of the kennel of BuddyBigPaw.

I believe this was an attempt to raise the ever-plummeting property value of Richard's vacation rental, which he frequents anytime someone sneezes to hard.

A conspiracy in the making, I wonder?
 

Richard’s families vacation home was sold as seen!

The odor of wet dog and the trail of sandy paw prints comes with the territory here in LA!