Is it really too much to ask not to behave like this? If we ignore it, will this become the new norm here? Can we do better?

I pride myself on being a great supporter of any crew I’m invited to. I’m not rich in real life, far from it but I donate millions every time, and I do it with joy, just like many others here. For me, all I ask in return is a little gratitude, which I’ve received almost every time.

I hadn’t heard from you for two weeks, but I still continued donating, twice actually. Sometimes you’re unlucky and end up in a place where things are simply dead. I think we’ve all experienced that, so the most logical thing is to move on, right? So that’s what I did. And, as I’ve always done before, I gave my reason for leaving the crew. But I don’t think I’ve ever experienced being spat at after leaving. That’s exactly how I felt when I read: “Hello and thank you for retiring.” You could have gracefully explained yourself, like other people have done when they’ve been absent, but you chose this route instead.

What bothers me most is that I could have been a new player. The way you behaved not only reflects badly on you, but misrepresents all of us. We look bad as a whole when we treat people this way.

So can we please not do this?

To: Caveman
From: Matteo
Sent: Aug 06, '26 11:41
Subject: Hello and thank you for retiring :)

No need to be sarcastic, it's been clear that you don't care.

It's funny how your mind works. You couldn't show simple courtesy and gratitude to someone who was trying to show respect to the crew by donating to you. But the moment your feelings get hurt by a quote that contained no lies or disrespect, suddenly you have all the time in the world.

You should really reconsider that mindset of yours.

To: Matteo
From: Caveman
Sent: Aug 06, '26 09:44
Subject: Hello and thank you for retiring :)

Your thoughts mean so much to me. Next time I’ll do better :)

To: Caveman
From: Matteo
Sent: Aug 06, '26 08:48
Subject: Hello and thank you for retiring :)

So tell me, which part was I lying about?

You seem proud of being a careless man. I was about to call you a careless leader, but you're no leader in my eyes. You missed out on having someone who was passionate about helping the crew he was part of and passionate about helping people in general. That's your loss.

Do better, Caveman, for the sake of the game.

To: Matteo
From: Caveman
Sent: Aug 06, '26 08:33
Subject: Hello and thank you for retiring :)

Nothing wrong sir. Just thought I’d message as I seen your quote :)

To: Caveman
From: Matteo
Sent: Aug 06, '26 08:26
Subject: Hello and thank you for retiring :)

You said it as if I'd done something wrong. So what did I do?

I mean there are leaders that claim to be friends with you then shoot you and play silent treatment. At least he spoke to you afterwards I suppose. 

There are all kinds of people running crews out there, no one's personalities are all going to mesh well. The joys of different people being well different. 

Hopefully your next crew will be more to your liking. 

I think this issue largely pulls down to perspectives, Matteo. Like with Melis' response about everyone being different, there's always going to be some sort of hurt feelings or judgement on something said no matter how hard someone tries to separate their character from themself. I've personally fallen to being offended. Is it a justified reason to have broken the character I present? Maybe. Depends on the perspective of the parties watching rather than my own.

You feel as though Caveman was unjust in how he chose to handle his perspective. Not everyone is going to reach out and be cordial about it. I, for example, am more likely to copy an excerpt and ask "hey man, if this is about me, what's up?" Rather than a sarcastic response like you received, but I am not Caveman. Does he feel justified in how he handled it? I won't speak for him, and I don't talk to him much. This thread is public, he can answer that if he chooses.

What I'm trying to boil this down to is simple: everyone will have a different perspective. It may be in line with yours, it may not be, but the more important thing is realizing that you can't change someone's perspective, only they can. I'm not going to judge Caveman on how he decided to represent himself in a private message. More-over, I will not judge you for bringing that privacy public because you felt it needed.

What I see are two different minds clashing and putting a bad taste in one another's mouths. It doesn't matter how much you donated. It doesn't matter how much Caveman wasn't around for you. What matters is the fact feelings were hurt. We as a community have our niches of people we hang around and it would seem you two are not each other's cups of tea and that's not an issue because you don't have to join his crew again.

Just to blatantly say this: I am a rare case where I try to talk and joke with everyone and keep my aquantances as such. I'll pick on everyone, I'll laugh with everyone and I'll include everyone, even spike. I didn't mean to make myself this way, but I am not going to choose sides or be mad just because someone else is mad. Thusly: The Great Enricho will NEVER kill his fellow mafioso.

In other words, find your niche. I do hope you and Caveman can settle your differences and come out on the better side of this situation, but if you can't, thats okay too. I hope you find better success in the future.

I would say Caveman was a container crew but those types of crews are no longer existent. Instead he was pulled out of his cave to set up in Chicago and he found a new cave to crawl into. More often than not not a peep out of him for days. An active city was wiped out for that!

Matteo, your enthusiasm is genuine. And should be greeted with appreciation and a thank you. Sadly, there are not too many that will see it that way. There was a time where such enthusiasm never went unnoticed. That ship sailed.   

Ocifer. Are you Matteo?

No, he has not Melis.

Valid point of view from you all. I’m very well aware that we all have different personalities and opinions. We have to navigate our way through things to get the best possible experience with each other. Luckily, most of the time it’s not an issue because of simple good manners.

Of course, you’ll meet people you’ll never get along with, but you still have to find ways to coexist.

For me, this is about my personal expectations and his character. In my MESSI character, I simply pointed out his flaws in a way that wasn’t appreciated. This was far from the first neglected crew I’ve been part of, and I’m not shy about expressing my opinions before removing myself.

I believe we should all speak up for the sake of the game. How can we improve if we stay silent?

When it comes to his character, it’s obvious to me. Immature, careless, and unable to control his emotions. In my opinion, he has no business being a crew leader. If he was handpicked for that position, then the people around him failed him by not teaching him how to carry himself.

I very rarely vent my frustrations in any forum. I think this is only the third time in nine years. But if you disrespect me when it’s completely uncalled for, I will call you out and make sure people see your character. We shouldn’t tolerate behavior like this. It reflects on all of us when newcomers experience it.

I believe we should all speak up for the sake of the game. How can we improve if we stay silent?

There is no room for improvement when you are dealing with people who do not give a shit about the game. Those people tell on themselves but their actions or lack of.  

You are not wrong.