I have single handedly taken out all of the criminal organization rumored to be known as "The Black Hand".

Not a single one of them has escaped my grasp. No need to continue to look over your shoulders for I have destroyed those dangerous 20 day old hooligans. Plus a few older ones who, in their defense, didn't actually have anything to do with the criminal organization but they once were seen in public not belittling them. 

So, going forward - anyone who is younger than today, lets call it the Black Day, should be treated as scum and fed to the fishes, no exceptions.

- If they are seen using their guns, kill them.

- If they are seen not using their guns, kill them. 

- If they have ancestors, kill them. 

- If they claim to know who used to deliver milk to anyone who knows the Black Hand, kill them. 

As long as we all agree to kill anyone who is born after the Black Day we will all be safe forever. So, do your part and murder an innocent born after today Sep 9th, Black Day. 

I'm absolutely certain this wont backfire at all.

I came here hoping to celebrate African-American culture and instead I get treated to whatever this is. Now, I consider myself a very literal man, but if I'm not mistaken, I believe there to be some sarcasm and mockery in this false celebration. 

So, since there isn't going to be a real celebration, is there something you want to talk about? Anything you want to get off your chest?  I understand you have recently gone through a traumatic experience. Listen, kid. You don't know how good you have it. In the old days we took a Burgerhousing and didn't even get a followup cultural celebration. You didn't even get burgerhoused, and there's probably a fucking comfort food buffet right around the corner.

Have you considered just apologizing?

TWENTYCHARACTERLIMIT JUMPS INTO THE STREET AND YELLS, "AS A YOUNG PERSON I COMPLETELY DISAGREE. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME FOR NO REASON! I DESERVE A CHANCE TO LIVE!"

Terrible business, this.

You do have to wonder whether there was some point in the last few weeks where all of this might have been avoided. Perhaps some sort of opportunity for everyone involved to draw a line under things, put forward what they wanted and see if an agreement could be reached.

I can't recall anything myself, obviously.