Ah Simon, such a strong name.

In Hebrew it is believed to be derived from Shimon, itself coming from the verb 'shama' (to hear) and is traditionally understood to mean "he has heard", and boy did I hear the message loud and clear when DuchessDingleberry announced I would be succeeding her without any prior consultation whatsoever. This was breaking news and like any good Simon, I jumped right on it without taking 48 hours thinking time. 

For those interested, the Greek, "Simon", a separate but similar-sounding name, is believed to be derived from simos meaning snub-nosed. Now, I don't have anything to say about that because my nose is beautifully proportioned and performs exactly as required, so I guess I'm a Hebrew Simon. Maybe I'll call my son HebrewSimonTheBastard. 

Snub-nosery and Simon-Hebrewery aside, seeing as DuchessDingleberry is retiring to her manor with her coin purse and her subscription to Woman's Weekly, I suppose I'll have to do as she asks. It falls to me, SimonTheBastard, bastard son of SimonTheSwanHunter, to lead this crew from the dark and dreary days of not having enough clout to deal drugs with an upper structure nobody has heard of, to the bright lights of Las Vegas and a future filled with so much blow HebrewSimonTheBastard will be born with a stem in his hand and a perforated septum. Septum, with an s. 

What can we expect from this Simon crew? Simple. Another s. Paydays, a well-stocked crew bar and very likely a premature end. There's a group read of Systematic Immolation of Thought. Philosophical musings around the mechanics of a toaster, followed by lunch (provided by the very same toaster). Evenings are the time for mass-hysteria and widespread panic around the fire wondering which of our many enemies will be coming to kill us first.

So let's fill up on these good times whilst we can because this will also be the last Simon crew and the end of the Simons. Sayōnara to the Swanfree Swansong, we're taking the TomJoad journey to oblivion. Please join me upon this final, very likely short, trip as I try once again to be granted 60 units only to have it rudely snatched away. Who's in?