As we stand here today, mourning another Simon (SimonTheBastard this time), it feels appropriate to take a step back and reflect on the especially brief nature of this latest run. 

We have seen many Simon's come and go. Such is the fleeting nature of the life of a Simon that any ordinary minute can feel heavy with consequence. But on a cosmic level, they occupy a microscopic fraction of reality. A Simon comes and a Simon goes, just as time sees a star exhausted of its fuel or a garden overrun with knotweed. 

Should we have appreciated our Simon's more? Should we have told them we love them, while we still could? 

Should we have shared our enormous lottery winnings with them, deposited into our accounts just an hour before their latest passing:

Sep 19, 00:00:01

You were paid $25,220,758 for winning the MafiaReturns.com cash lottery! (You had 2.85% of the total tickets.)

Perhaps not. Because then that money would have been gone forever, and we wouldn't be able to retire to Florida, to operate a gator farm in the swamplands. 

Time is a thief, robbing us of youth and memory. And Simon. Poor, fatherless Simon. 

Who was behind this latest act of Simoncide? The Plumbers, obviously. And to them I say, you do you. I cannot stop the future unfolding on its determined path, just as a vampire crew will pop up every two years, or Father-TeQ seems to talk almost exclusively about himself, a Simon will live and a Simon will die, in perpetuity. 

I wish you luck on your next journey, future Simon. Come see Uncle Text about a lottery allowance. I'm feeling very generous. 

I hope uncle Text sends his favorite nephew an allowance too. ME

Also, I am very sad to see Simon the 8th or 9th die now. The children that line makes is astounding.